


catch the asteroids that come your way.

by ThePackWantstheD



Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU (Comics), Green Lantern - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bruce Wayne is a Good Dad, Canonical Character Death, Childhood Sweethearts, Family, First Love, Friendship, Growing Up Together, M/M, Making Up, Slow Build, Teenagers, or he was anyway
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-02
Updated: 2018-10-17
Packaged: 2018-12-23 02:06:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 15
Words: 54,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11979837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThePackWantstheD/pseuds/ThePackWantstheD
Summary: Kyle Rayner understands loneliness. When he was a child, his mother loved him but worked long hours to keep them afloat. When he was fourteen, he was the last Green Lantern. At fifteen, he spends too much time in space to make proper friends on Earth. Things start to change when he overhears a conversation between Jason Todd and Bruce Wayne at the watchtower.





	1. a spaceman and a bird

"B, come on! _Please_  don't make me go there."

Kyle had been on his way to the kitchen in the watchtower, preferring to eat on Bruce Wayne's dime as much as possible so that his mother didn't have to worry quite as much about paying for food on top of worrying about his gallivanting around space, when he heard the plea.

The voice was familiar, obviously belonging to the current Robin, but the tone wasn't. In Kyle's experience, Jason didn't speak that often. When he did he was usually snappish and angry, not the whiny and childish tone he was using now. He was thirteen, only two years younger than Kyle himself, but he didn't tend to complain the way most kids that age did.

Kyle didn't know how Jason had become Robin, Dick was usually too busy raging about having been replaced to explain, but sometimes he wondered if their situations were similar. He wondered if Jason had grown up poor like he had, if he didn't complain because he didn't want to make things harder for a single parent.

"We've talked about this, Jason." Kyle shouldn't have been surprised to hear Bruce with Jason, voice his normal pitch rather than the low rumble he seemed to use instinctively when the cowl was on, but he still felt a small shock. Bruce's voice was soft with a hint of affection hidden behind the obvious exasperation. It seemed to Kyle like he was hearing an old argument between the two. "It's good for you to spend time with the Titans, to get out of Gotham and spend time with people your own age."

"I _like_  Gotham," Jason insisted, "and I _hate_  them."

Kyle felt himself bristle. While the other Lanterns were good about treating him as a comrade, there were times when they still saw his age before his status as a protector of the cosmos. For the Justice League, who rarely saw him in combat, that distinction was even harder. More often than not they stuck Kyle with the other 'kids' instead of acknowledging his status as a full fledged member of the league.

The time he'd spent with them had resulted in him creating a close bond with the Titans. While older than him, it was only a few years between them. It had been easy for him to form friendships with them, even if his status as an intergalactic protector meant he wasn't as close to them as they were with each other. He just didn't spend enough time on Earth to develop that type of bond with them when they had each other.

Still they were his friends and hearing Jason say that he hated them rubbed him the wrong way.

"I thought you liked Donna," Bruce said. "Weren't you just telling Alfred how you needed Wonder Girl merchandise to go with your Wonder Woman things?"

"I _do_  need that Wonder Girl lunch box, B. She's the best! Everyone knows that," Jason insisted.

"Of course," Bruce agreed, a trace of amusement in his voice. Hearing him like this made Kyle's skin crawl a bit. He wasn't eavesdropping on purpose, he'd stopped when he heard them on instinct more than anything else, but now he felt like he was listening to something intensely personal. These weren't voices that Bruce used with other people. Rather this reminded him of the soft, amused voice his mother used when he'd been a young child explaining all of the creatures he'd drawn to her. "If that's the case, why don't you want to spend time in San Francisco with her?"

"Because the others are there too and they _suck_ ," Jason argued, putting a little more aggression into the final word.

"They do not-"

"They do," Jason cut in. Kyle's growing anger at Jason's opinions of the Titan's was undercut by a sharp shock at Jason interrupting Bruce. He didn't have many interactions with the two of them since Bruce was pretty opposed to all of the cosmic bullshit that Kyle dealt with as a Green Lantern, and preferred to stay as far away from Hal as possible, but he knew that it was odd for Jason to do something like that. Jason didn't always listen to Bruce when they were in costume, but he was always pretty respectful about it when he disagreed. He never flat out cut Bruce off or dismissed him the way he just had. "They act like I'm not there. They don't talk to me or interact with me. On the rare occasion they do acknowledge my existence it's just to yell at me for doing something wrong which just makes me angry because it's not like I knew I was doing something wrong. I"m not one of them and they don't take the time to explain things to me. I'm not learning anything while I'm there. I'd rather be at the manor with you and Alf."

His words gave Kyle pause.

Kyle had noticed that the way the Titan's treated Jason on the occasions that he was with them wasn't the same way that they treated each other or even the way they treated him. He'd never seen their actions as cruel, but it was undeniable that the Titan's preferred Jason not to be around them. He knew how terrible it was to be forced to spend time with people that obviously didn't want you there or who actively disliked you, even if they weren't cruel about it. He understood why the Titan's were that way, as little as Kyle knew about the situation he knew that Dick saw Jason as a replacement for himself and was upset about it, but hearing Jason's perspective of it had a pang of guilt crashing through him.

He hadn't actively participated himself, but he'd never really done anything to stop it or to make Jason feel welcome when he was around. And the two of them were closer in age than Jason and the Titans, Kyle could've made a connection with him without it feeling like Jason was just some kid tagging along.

Kyle heard Bruce sigh. "Just for the weekend. Okay, Jay? You don't have to spend too much time there, but Dick learned a lot from them and I think you can do."

There was amount before Jason said, voice still sounding pouty and unhappy but less so than before, "Just for the weekend."

"Now come on," Bruce said. There was a soft thump-like sound, as if Bruce had just put his hand on Jason's shoulder. "You wanted to see Diana before we left, didn't you?"

Kyle kicked himself into action.

He didn't want to get caught listening in on their conversation.

* * *

Kyle still had a few days left on earth before he had to report back to Oa. They were a little more generous with giving him breaks from his duty than they were for the other lanterns. There had been multiple conversations between the higher ups and other Earth lanterns in order to make it clear that no matter what responsibilities they placed on him were, he _was_  still considered a child on Earth.

As happy as he'd been to have the time off, he couldn't stay in Los Angeles for the entire week. He loved his mother, loved his friends from before this entire thing, but there was a gap that existed between them now. One created by the fact that Kyle was still a child, but one that was used to being almost completely on his own out in the vastness of the galaxy with a weight on his shoulders that those at home couldn't understand. His bond with the heroes that went in and out of the watchtower might not have been as old or as close as his bonds at home, but they understood the burden he bore and the way that had changed him a little bit more.

So the weekend following the conversation Kyle had eavesdropped on found him at the watchtower again.

The core group of heroes, consisting almost entirely of the founding members, were having a meeting to discuss what was going on in their domains. John and Hal usually switched off on which one of them was going to report to the League.

Kyle knew that John was there today. He was hoping he could convince him to take him to lunch.

Hal, John, and Guy all took him out for lunch occasionally. He thought the three of them saw him as a protégé of some sort. While there were times he hated it, there were also times when he was glad he had someone to watch over him like they did.

He enjoyed lunch with all three of them, but lunches with John tended to be a little more serious and made it a little easier for him to explain things that were bothering him. After a week with people who didn't understand what he dealt with every day that he was in space, the idea of spending a lunch talking to John was appealing.

He wanted to wait in one of the chairs that were outside the room, there specifically for the purpose of allowing people to wait for anyone that was in a closed door meeting, but when he turned the corner he found that one of the two seats was already occupied.

Jason sat in one of the seats wearing dark gray shorts and a black tank top with a light blue short sleeved button up over it. He'd left the buttons of his outer shirt unbuttoned. Jason had kicked off his shoes, a pair of black converse that sat on the floor in front of him, and pulled his feet up into the chair with him. His feet were tucked under his thighs, but Kyle could see the socks he was wearing, a pair of dark blue no-shows with avocados on them. He had a book in his hands, his face practically buried in it's pages, but the way he was holding it made it hard for Kyle to read the title.

Thinking about Jason's struggles with the Titans and what that had to mean for the number of friends he had in the community, Kyle strolled up to him.

Stopping in front of Jason, Kyle asked, "What are you reading?"

Jason jumped. He looked up from his book, catching Kyle with an expression that reminded him of a spooked animal. He looked ready to attack at a moments notice despite the position he was sitting in. After a moment, he seemed to register who it was in front of him. The expression melted into surprise and a shocked, "What?" spilled from Jason's lips.

"Your book," Kyle said. He pointed to the object in question. "What is it?"

"Oh." Jason looked back down at the book, surprise lingering in his expression. Kyle wondered just how bad his relationships amongst the younger heroes had to be for him to be so surprised that someone was speaking to him in the watchtower. "It's The Three Musketeers."

"Is it good?" Kyle asked. He settled himself down into the seat next to Jason. He turned his body a bit so he could look at Jason as they spoke. "Do you like it?"

Jason gave a small shrug, "I haven't finished this yet, but I like it so far."

"I've never read it," Kyle said. "What's it about?"

"You really want to know?" Jason asked, suspicion written all over his face.

Kyle nodded. "Yeah."

"Oh." Jason fell quiet for a moment, clearly surprised by Kyle's answer. Then he said, "Well, it's about these four guys-"

"Four?" Kyle questioned. "Isn't it called The _Three_  Musketeers?"

"Okay, well, that because d'Artagnan isn't a musketeer. He's trying to be, but he isn't yet."

* * *

It was another hour before the Justice League ended their meeting.

Kyle spent the entire time sitting outside with Jason, listening to him ramble about The Three Musketeers.

Over the course of the hour, Kyle found himself wondering how anyone could ever see Jason as a replacement for Dick when the two of them were so _different_.

It was obvious how much Jason loved reading. He'd told Kyle that while he was reading the book in English right now, that was only because he hadn't been able to find a copy in the original French. Alfred had offered to help him, but Bruce had taken Jason to see Les Mis on Broadway for his birthday and Jason wanted to read that in French first. It wasn't that Dick didn't read, but that Dick certainly didn't relish in it the way that Jason did. He wouldn't spend the time to read a novel multiple times in multiple languages because he wanted to understand the story in every way he could. He didn't just love reading, but clearly loved stories in general and all the nuances thereof. He used voices when he spoke about characters, made wide hand gestures to demonstrate or punctuate his points. He loved the dramatics of storytelling as much as he loved the stories themselves.

Dick, on the other hand, was a people person. He relished in being surrounded by them. It didn't matter who a person was or how long he knew them, he could hold a conversation easily. Jason clearly wasn't, clearly preferred the company of books and his own thoughts to the company of other people. It seemed like he wasn't entirely _used to_  having conversations with people. He rambled on about what he was talking about, only occasionally remembering to stop to let Kyle speak. Sometimes he'd be talking about something, only to be reminded of something only vaguely related and end up talking about that for a few minutes before he managed to swing the conversation back to the original topic. He didn't do it to exclude Kyle, but seemingly because he was more used to speaking to people who didn't talk often or wasn't used to having people to listen at all.

There was also a spark of mischief in him. It wasn't something Kyle could confirm, but something that he could guess. It was something Kyle could tell from Jason's favorite characters, from the stories he told when he went off topic, from the things that Kyle said that made him laugh. It wasn't necessarily that Dick lacked that spark, it was hard not to when one was best friends with Wally West, but that it manifested differently with Dick.

It had only been an hour, but by the time John and Bruce walked out of the room Kyle had decided that he preferred Jason.

Dick was his friend, someone he genuinely enjoyed spending time with, but Jason's personality meshed with Kyle's in a way that made Kyle's face hurt from grinning. Jason didn't just laugh and grin when Kyle used his ring to conjure small constructs of the Musketeers based off his descriptions, but pointed out the flaws in what Kyle had made as well. It appealed to Kyle's artistic ability to get it right and he liked that Jason wasn't afraid to point out what he did wrong. The two of them sat there with their heads bent together as they read paragraphs from the book describing the characters. Afterwards, Kyle did his best to recreate the battles from the book which had them both smiling. At the same time, Kyle had discovered that whatever he directed at Jason would be given back to him in equal measure. When Kyle got a little frustrated with Jason's criticisms, he'd snapped that Jason should just take the ring himself then. He hadn't been expecting Jason to hold his hand out, raising an eyebrow as he waited for Kyle to deposit it in his hand. It'd been enough to have Kyle laughing as he shook his head.

It was a fun time.

In the days afterwards Kyle started making an active effort to seek Jason out when he was in the watchtower.

It didn't take very long until Kyle considered it normal to spend his time on earth in the watchtower with Jason.

* * *

Kyle was sitting in the watchtower's cafeteria with the Titans.

The Justice League let them operate on their own, but they still kept a close eye on them. So the whole team had come up to the watchtower to talk to give the league, though everyone knew the meeting would primarily be the heroes they used to work with, about how things were going. Was everyone okay? Did they need more support? Were the facilities at the tower okay or did they need something else?

Kyle knew that, given the season, it was also a thinly veiled excuse to get Bruce and Dick together. Dick wouldn't spend the holidays with Bruce, but this way Bruce at least got to see him. Kyle thought that was probably why Dick was so upset about having to report to the league. He knew exactly why they'd scheduled the meeting for this time of year and wasn't very happy about being forced to attend.

There were a few members of the league that had been delayed on their way to the watchtower, though, so the Titans had decided to grab a quick lunch before.

"How long are you going to be on Earth this time, Kyle?" Donna asked, drawing his attention away from the argument Wally and Roy were having over whether ham or turkey was a better Christmas dinner.

"Two weeks," Kyle answered. "Just long enough for the holidays."

The Corps tried to be respectful of what things were important to their lanterns, it was hard to be loyal to an organization which spat on your customs, but they couldn't exactly let all four of them have the time away. Someone had to patrol the sector and Kyle and Guy were meant to be protecting Oa and teaching others. Kyle was young for the duty, but he'd carried the organization and proven himself in a way that pushed him further up the chain of command.

Kyle had anticipating having to beg one of the others to switch duties with him so he could be on Earth for the holiday, but it turned out that the three older Earth guardians had already made arrangements for all of them. Hal's brother had his own family so Hal would spend the week up til Christmas and the day of patrolling the sector himself so his brother's family could have the actual holiday to themselves. John would spend the holidays with his mother, then take a solo patrol the week after Christmas until New Years. Guy had already worked it out so he could take Kyle's classes up until the holidays, giving Kyle a little more time with his mother, and then arranged it with some of the other lanterns to take the time from Christmas-New Years off in exchange for taking their classes over when the major holidays on their planets came around.

"That's unfortunate," Donna said. Kyle hummed, questioning. "We would have liked to spend some time with you, but we're splitting up for the holidays. I'm going to be the only one in the tower I believe."

"Dick's not staying?"

"He's going to Gotham," Donna answered. "He's spending the holiday with Batgirl and her father."

"Ah...."

"We could get together one day, though," Wally interjected. Kyle wondered whether he'd missed the end of the argument or if Wally had just given up on trying to convince him. "Maybe on New Years? We could spend it in New York!"

"New Years in New York is a mess," Dick said. "You know that right?"

"Well yeah, but it'd be a fun mess wouldn't it?"

As the group started discussing the merits of spending the holiday together, and if they did where they should spend it, Kyle's attention wandered. He wouldn't mind spending the holiday with them, figured it would be better then laying around on his mother's couch or going to a party one of his old school friends was having and pretending to be interested, but he didn't particularly care where they celebrated it if they did spend it together.

His eyes roamed over the doorway just in time to catch sight of Jason walking past. He was wearing a pair of red pants with a red-and-black plaid shirt. He had a thick looking black sweatshirt pulled on over his shirt. Bruce had been one of the people running late, so Kyle figured that Jason had tagged along. He was alone, though, so the two of them must have split up as soon as they came through the tube.

"Hey guys, I'm gonna split," Kyle said, pushing himself to his feet. He'd been off world for a while. They'd gotten close during Kyle's few visits over the weeks since their first meeting. Kyle had looked forward to meeting up with Jason while he was here on Earth. He'd missed him. He didn't want to miss the chance to see him when he didn't know when they'd be around each other again. "I'll talk to you later."

"Can I have the rest of your sandwich?" Wally asked, calling after Kyle as he left.

"Sure!"

Kyle weaved his way through the cafeteria until he made it out of the door he'd seen Jason by.

Since it'd taken him a moment to get outside, it took a few turns before he saw Jason in the same corridor.

"Jason!" he shouted, picking his pace up a bit. Jason glanced over his shoulder, stopping when he realized it was Kyle who had called his name. "Hey!"

"Hi," Jason greeted, a small smile spreading over his lips. "I didn't know you were here."

"I was having lunch with Dick and the others." Jason's smile faltered a bit. Kyle continued, "I saw you passing by and wanted to see what you were doing."

"Going to the library," Jason said. He lifted a shoulder, showing Kyle the backpack on his shoulder. "I was sick last week so I've got some homework to do."

"You didn't stay home to do it?"

"I've been stuck inside the house all week," Jason answered. "I wanted to get out for a bit and Bruce didn't mind me tagging along as long as I promised to get my homework done."

"Well, can I come with you?" Kyle asked.

Jason looked a little surprised. "You want to? You wouldn't rather have lunch with the Titans?"

"I want to," Kyle assured. Thinking it was probably better not to linger on the topic of the Titans, he said, "I don't want to keep you from your work. It wasn't too long ago that I was in eighth grade. Maybe I can help you?"

"'It wasn't too long ago?'" Jason repeated. A grin was spreading over his face again, something easy and teasing. "Are you kidding me, dude? You're only two years older than me. You're a sophomore in high school, not college." He paused for a moment before adding, "Are you even in high school? Or did you drop out for the superhero thing?"

"Are you kidding me?" Kyle asked. They'd started walking, making their way down the hallway and towards the library. It was mostly magical books and such, but there were tables in there that they could sit at while Jason worked. "My mom would kill me if I dropped out of school to be an intergalactic peace keeper."

* * *

Bruce walked through the halls of the watchtower, making his way towards the library.

He hadn't asked the league - his friends, he reminded himself, they had done this because they were his friends - to set up the Titans meeting around the holidays, but he was glad for it nonetheless. Dick hadn't been happy to see him, but he'd allowed Bruce to stop him for a few minutes after the meeting so they could exchange awkward conversation. Bruce told him that they'd like to have Dick back at the manor for the holiday, making sure to emphasis that Bruce wanted him there as well as Alfred the way that the older man had told him to. Dick had responded that he already had plans with Barbara. It hurt that his son would be spending another holiday away from him, but Bruce wouldn't push him. Instead, Bruce told him that he had a gala to attend on the 27th and that Dick should at least swing by to see Alfred while he and Jason were gone.

The entire thing had been awkward, but he'd gotten to talk to Dick and make sure he was okay.

That was really all Bruce could ask for.

It had been emotionally exhausting, though, and all Bruce wanted now was to find Jason. His younger son always seemed to carry this sunshine, this excitement and happiness around, that soothed the aches in Bruce's soul. He wasn't a replacement for Dick, but he certainly helped soothe the hurt Dick left. 

Maybe he'd take Jason out for ice cream. He'd been begging for it the entire time he'd been sick, insisting it would ease the pain in his throat, but Alfred had shot every request down and handed him tea instead. If Jason had done as Bruce told him and worked on his homework while the meeting had been going on, something Bruce was almost certain he'd done as Jason had an incredible passion for learning, then a treat wouldn't be out of place.

Reaching the library, Bruce pulled the door open and stepped inside.

It took him a moment to find Jason among the stacks of books, but when he did he found himself pleasantly surprised.

Jason was sitting at one of the tables with Kyle Rayner. One of Jason's textbooks was open on the table in front of them, but the worksheet tucked inside the pages had been abandoned. Instead the two of them were arguing, a bit too loudly for a library, about something they'd been reading.

"You're really going to trust the textbook over me?" Kyle said. "I've been to space, Jay! Has the guy that wrote this been to space? I don't think so."

"I don't trust the textbook more," Jason said, rolling his eyes at Kyle. "But if I put your answer I'm going to get the question wrong."

"But your answer would be the only correct one in the class!"

"Yeah, but the teacher doesn't know that."

"Write the answer. I'll write your teacher a note explaining why it's right," Kyle insisted. He leaned back in his chair, spreading his arms and tipping chair onto the back legs as he started, "Dear Mrs..."

"Lockser," Jason said. There was a small smile in his face, amused and a little indulgent, as he reached forward to get his book.

"Dear Mrs. Lockser, I happened across Jason while he was working on his science homework in the library," Kyle began, "and I couldn't help noticing that the textbook you assigned him gave him some incorrect information on our beautiful galaxy...."

Bruce watched the scene in front of him with a growing happiness.

He'd never seen Jason interacting with someone his age this easily.

His boy had a certain charisma and warmheartedness about him that drew people in. He'd stopped complaining about Wayne Galas when he learned they usually raised money for the company's charities and single-handedly convinced a woman to donate enough to make the improvements to the orphanage that Wayne Enterprises was connected to. Every bit of love that Jason held for Diana was returned tenfold. The Amazon had as big a soft spot for Jason as Jason did for her, drawn in by his sincerity and good heart despite all that he'd been through.

And yet, Jason didn't seem to draw his own peers in with the same ease. Bruce had enrolled him in Gotham Academy so Jason could have the education he wanted, but the other kids weren't accepting of someone they perceived as being a street kid. Not even if that kid had more money than they did, not that Jason ever considered that. Bruce had hoped Jason would fit in better with the other teens at the watchtower, but Dick had already left his mark on most of them. And while the adults understood that Jason wasn't a replacement, the teens' fierce loyalty to Dick had them keeping Jason out of their circle.

Bruce supposed it made a little sense that Kyle had been the one Jason latched on to though.

Kyle was a good kid, had carried too much on his shoulders too young and somehow came out of it without losing himself, but he didn't fit in with the others either. It wasn't that they didn't accept him, but that Kyle wasn't necessarily the same as the Titans. They were adults now, no longer children trailing after their guardians, but none of them had carried the responsibility that Kyle had, none of them had been the last Green Lantern, the last protector of the universe. There was a knowledge and burden there the others couldn't understand. Kyle wasn't usually on Earth long enough to try and explain it to them.

Jason carried the same look in his eyes. Not the weight of carrying an organization like the Lantern Corps, but of trying to keep his mother healthy and alive. He didn't carry it as heavily anymore, working through his issues with Bruce and Alfred to nudge him into talking, but it was always there.

Whether the boys realized it or not, it was probably something that had drawn them together, an understanding between them that so few their age had.

Bruce was glad they had each other. Friends made this job easier.

"Sincerely," Kyle said, a dramatic flourish in his voice as he wrapped up the letter he'd been drafting as Bruce's thoughts drifted, "the best looking and most talented Green Lantern."

"Yeah, because she's totally going to believe that I bumped into a Green Lantern at the library and he just _happened_ to notice that my textbook was wrong about some stars."

"I'll put an official Justice League seal on it. Then she'll be forced to accept your story." He leaned forward so the legs of his chair hit the floor again. He peered at the page Jason was working on before exclaiming, "Jay! You wrote the wrong answer!"

"Yup."

As Kyle leaned into Jason's space, reaching to grab Jason's pen to correct the answer himself, Bruce turned to leave the room.

He'd go speak to Clark and Diana for a few minutes.

He'd come get Jason after that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1) Hi everyone! I've really wanted to write a JayKyle fic and I actually really liked the idea of a young!Jason and young!Kyle who got along? They'd encourage each other to be better and worst at the same time lmao. 
> 
> 2) My initially summary for this fic says, "Kyle and Jason becoming friends [and eventually lovers] because fuck Dick for getting teams of friends whole Jason was all alone."
> 
> 3) So I made a few changes to age and stuff. So I'm this fic, right now, Kyle is around fifteen, Jason is around thirteen, and Dick&Co are around seventeen or eighteen. Kyle's a green lantern, but because he's so much young the other Earth Lanterns watch over him a bit. But because their more father/brother figures, he's settled in with Dick and everyone friendwise. 
> 
> 4) Writing Kyle as a young lantern I think really gives more depth to his story, I think. I mean he singlehandedly kept the organization running for a while there and doing that as a teen would be so much more admirable (not that it wasn't before). Hopefully you guys also enjoy that perspective. Also, hopefully I'm balancing "Kyle is a Green Lantern and has been through some shit" with "Kyle is fifteen and still a child". 
> 
> 5) I might be giving the corps too much credit? I'm not entirely wellversed in Green Lantern, I admit. I mostly read issues and volumes of things with Kyle in it and not much else. I have seen cartoons with the Lanterns in it but that only goes so far. 
> 
> 6) This chapter kinda got ahead of me? I don't know if future chapters will be as long but I'll try my best!
> 
> 7) You know that timeline DC has? Throw it out just lile they do. Its irrelevant to this story.
> 
> 8) also I wrote the final bit of this in the car on my way to University. So there might be some editting problems. Feel free to point out anything major and I'll try to run through it once I'm stopped. I just really wanted to get this out.
> 
> 10) this story starts in August 2007 after Jason's 13th birthday. Kyle is 15. It covers about 3/4 months a chapter but ill try to make that obvious via clothing and mentioning of events. 
> 
> 11) The title for this story comes from [Dear Spaceman #3](http://antgione.tumblr.com/post/154484505795/dear-spaceman-youve-drowned-in-the-nebulas) by Antgione which I love. I think it captures what I want to do with this fic really well so I highly reccomend you read and then go compliment them over on their new blog [wufflebee](https://whufflebee.tumblr.com/)


	2. best of all best friends

Kyle and Jason were sitting together in one of the hallways in the watchtower.

Jason was wearing a long-sleeved Gotham's Knight shirt with light jeans. The center of the shirt was a dark gray while the sleeves were black with two yellow bands around his bicep. He'd had a hoodie on initially, but he'd taken it off and shoved it under himself to use as a cushion at some point. The two of them had known it would be a long Justice League meeting, but they hadn't really considered that when deciding to sit in one of the less trafficked hallways instead of one of the rooms.

Kyle was wearing a black hoodie with "Zombies eat flesh" on the front, stylized like the subway logo. He wore a pair of dark jeans with them.

Kyle had Jason's DS in his hand, playing Pokemon Diamond. When he'd mentioned around the holidays that he was upset he'd missed the latest Pokemon games, Jason had promised to bring his copy so Kyle could play it since he didn't really see a point in buying game systems when most of them didn't work in space and he wasn't on Earth long enough to enjoy them. 

Jason had his legs stretched out in front of him while Kyle kept his folded up under him. They were sitting so their shoulders were bumping, Jason leaned in to peer at the hand-held Kyle was playing.

"Ugggggh," Kyle groaned, drawing the sound out as his final Pokemon fainted for what felt like sixth time in a row. "I can't beat her."

"I told you to go get different Pokemon," Jason said. "Or at least go level up if you're that insistent on using Pokemon that aren't effective."

"Look, they don't need to be super effective. They're pretty and that's all I care about," Kyle answered. It was the artist in him speaking. The designs for most of the Pokemon were simple, but Kyle didn't think that detracted from how gorgeous some of them were.

"You can get cute normal types," Jason pointed out.

"Lopunny is nowhere near as cute as my Pachirisu," Kyle responded.

"Then go grind some levels," Jason said. "Otherwise you're never going to make it past Maylene."

Kyle groaned again, but ultimately gave in. "Fine."

There was quiet for a few moments as Kyle walked his character out of Veilstone City and to the routes around the city to train his Pokemon.

Then it was broken by a loud rumble from Jason's stomach.

"Ugh," Jason groaned. Kyle glanced over him, watching as Jason put a hand on his stomach.

"Hungry?" Kyle said. When Jason nodded, he said, "We can go to the cafeteria, if you wanted."

They'd come to sit out in the hallways so they wouldn't be bothered while Kyle was playing, but it wasn't like Kyle minded if they went to the play in the cafeteria. Most people in the tower weren't concerned enough by what they were doing to bother them.

"I don't want to," Jason said. "Bruce and I have been up here the past couple of days because he's helping Clark with this thing and I'm getting sick of cafeteria food. I'd rather just wait until Bruce gets out of his meeting and ask if he'll take me home to get some new books. Alfred will feed me if we're at the manor for a bit."

Kyle thought about that for a second. There wasn't exactly an intergalactic crisis going on, but whatever Bruce and Clark had been looking at it had caused enough attention that most of the league was involved in it now. Kyle had actually come to the tower with John when the older lantern came for the meeting. John had left him to talk to Jason, telling him that he'd go to meeting to see what was going on then let Kyle know.

Even not knowing, though, Kyle got the impression it was going to be a while longer still.

"Why don't we go get something? Not from the cafeteria, but like from a restaurant?" Kyle suggested. Jason looked a little thrown by the idea. Kyle couldn't really blame him. They'd never hung out outside of the watchtower before. It wasn't because Kyle didn't want to, though. It was just that, usually, they were at the watchtower at the same time and Jason didn't know how long he'd be around before going back to Gotham with Bruce. It was just easier to hang out there rather than going somewhere else. He saved quickly before snapping Jason's DS shut and pushing himself to his feet. "Come on. It's my treat."

* * *

"What are you going to get?" Kyle asked.

The two of them had taken the Z-Tube to the base in LA then walked to a small diner not far from there.

The area was a little too upscale for Kyle to be comfortable in, he hadn't exactly grown up in the worst parts of LA but they hadn't been the suburbs either. The first few times Kyle had been at the base he'd felt awkward around the area, out of his costume he was just a teenage boy and he hadn't quite fit in with the tourists and politicians, and it'd led him to searching around the area for somewhere that didn't make him feel so out of place.

Heroes had been what he found. It was a small, family owned diner where the uniforms all represented the Justice League's heroes in some way. Normally it would have been crowded with tourists, but it was twisted down the streets of LA in a way that thinned the crowd enough for it to be bearable. It was cheesy, but it was the kind of cheesy that Kyle found endlessly amusing. He'd thought it was the kind of cheesy that Jason would enjoy as well.   
  
And given the way Jason had lit up when they walked in and how he'd grabbed Kyle's arm to drag him over to the tables being served by the girl dressed as Wonder Woman, he was absolutely right.

"The batrito," Jason said, his voice filled with unrestrained glee. He let out a string of giggles, repeating, "The _batrito."_

He looked down at his own menu, his grin widening because Jason's amusement was infectious, "I think I'm going to get the Aquaman Platter. I haven't had seafood in forever."

"They don't have seafood in space?" Jason asked. He'd still been looking at the menu, scanning through the collection of ridiculously named dishes, but now he glanced up at Kyle.

"They do," Kyle said. "Space fish are just really weird and they kinda creep me out."

"Fish creep you out?" Jason said, raising an eyebrow.

"Deep sea fish are _creepy_ , Jay," Kyle insisted. "It's only worse when it's deep sea space fish because there's all kinds of strange stuff on other planets. Like there are fish on other planets that spend their entire lives surrounded by radioactive materials."

"They're still just fish."

"Jason," Kyle said. "Jason, one day I am going to take you to space with me and we are going to go to sector 1402."

"What's in sector 1402?"

"It's pretty much all water planets," Kyle explained. "There are some high intelligence aquatic life forms there, which is why it's one of our sectors, but the vast majority of life on the planets are just fish and there's some really weird ones.

"So you want to take me to space and show me some fish?"

"Yes, because then you'll understand why space fish are so creepy that I won't eat them."

"I'm still pretty sure your being over dramatic about this fish thing," Jason said, "but going to space would be pretty cool. B and I travel a bit, but we're pretty confined to the planet."

"Boring," Kyle dismissed. "Space is cooler."

"Space might be cooler, but Gotham definitely isn't boring," Jason said. "When you were gone the Riddler got out of Arkham and it was a total shitshow trying to track him down."

"Oh this is interesting," Kyle said. He folded his menu back up, setting it to the side now that he'd decided what he wanted, and leaned forward to put his forearms on the table. Stories told by Jason were always stories to lean forward for. He told even the most boring tales in ways that demanded attention. "Tell me more."

"Okay so it started with B and I on the rooftop of the National Bank...."

* * *

Lunch that day seemed to be a catalyst for their relationship. They no longer limited their time with each other to what they could do within the tower. They still spent time together at the watchtower, but when Kyle was on Earth and they knew Bruce was going to be awhile the two of them would leave together to do something else.

When the weather was cold, they generally stuck to things that would warm them up. They went to a small used bookshop where Jason would examine every title on the shelf like which one he was going to buy was a life or death decision. Kyle had found a comfortable armchair in the shop where he could stay while Jason looked. He'd sit there with a sketchbook open in his lap, listening to Jason as he read sections of the books aloud and occasionally doodling the scenes he described. Sometimes they'd go to an art museum near one of the Z-Tubes. Kyle wasn't much of an art historian, preferring creating his own, but he'd tell Jason the little bit that he did know. More often than not, they would just make up a story about the artist or the piece itself. It was fun to sit there letting their minds go wild. Sometimes, when they had an exceptionally long period of time, they took advantage of the Z-Tubes international network and Jason's ease with languages to go to Belgium. They sat inside of a tiny cafe they found, drinking hot chocolate that was almost too sweet and arguing about whether peppermint was actually any good.

On a few occasions, they decided to brave the cold for the sake of doing something interesting. Neither of them had ever been ice skating before, Jason having been too poor to go when he was growing up and Kyle having lived in sunny Los Angeles his entire life, so once the two of them found an outdoor rink that they could go skating at. Once they left the watchtower with the intention of going to see a movie together, only to get distracted by a snowman building contest happening in a park they passed. They ended up spending their time there instead. Their snowman didn't make it to judging, Jason getting sick of arguing with Kyle over using coal or buttons for the eyes and slamming Kyle's face into the would-be head instead, but it was fun the entire time. Even when they were arguing, there was amusement in their words. When their argument dissolved into a snowball fight, the two of them were laughing even as their gloves became so soaked that their fingers froze from the cold and their cheeks burned with the frosty impact.

They didn't spend much time outdoors at first, but as February gave way to March the days grew warmer and they took the opportunities to enjoy it.

One time Kyle stopped to say hello to his mother after arriving back on planet before meeting Jason at the tower with a basket full of chalk. The two of them went to a park and sat with their knees in the grass, leaning over to draw on the winding sidewalk paths that wrapped through the park. They meandered for a little bit, doodling butterflies and fishes, before Jason started drawing Wonder Woman's symbol. Kyle ended up drawing Wonder Woman above the symbol, doing his best even though drawing with chalk was messy and something he wasn't used to. Afterwards they added Batman and Superman on either side of her. Another time, Jason took Kyle to one of the baseball fields in Gotham. Kyle wasn't exactly weak, but he'd never exactly been an athletic person and being a Green Lantern was more of a mental workout than a physical one. Most of that afternoon was spent with Jason laughing every-time Kyle failed to catch the ball or Kyle insisting that Jason throw him one more pitch because he was definitely going to hit the ball this time.

It was _fun_.

Kyle had never really been a recluse, but he didn't think that he'd ever had a friend who he enjoyed spending time with as much as he enjoyed spending time with Jason.

* * *

"Jay!" Kyle shouted.

Jason was walking further down the hallway, next to Bruce, but at the sound of his name he turned to look over his shoulder. When he spotted Kyle he stopped, a huge grin spreading over his face. "Hey! When did you get back?"

"Last night," Kyle answered, jogging down the hallway until he reached Jason. Kyle had been in space for the past month. It wasn't the longest he'd been away since he and Jason had started hanging out, but that didn't stop him from missing Jason when he was gone. "I stayed with my mom for the night then came over here to say hi."

"Well, welcome back," Jason said.

"Thanks." Kyle asked, "Did you guys just get here? How long are you gonna be around? Do we have time to go to the movies because I wanna go see that Dr. Seuss movie that just came out."

"The kids movie?"

"It's Dr. Seuss, Jason," Kyle responded as if that was enough of an explanation. Jason didn't look like he agreed, but Kyle figured that it didn't really matter because he'd just educate Jason on the greatness of Dr. Seuss at the movie. "Come on, let's go see it."

Jason opened his mouth to say something, then his face dropped abruptly. Kyle was confused by the change for a moment before Jason said, "I can't. B and I are only going to be here for a few minutes then we're headed back to Gotham."

"Oh," Kyle said, feeling his own mood drop.

"Well," Bruce said, speaking up for the first time. Kyle was slightly startled to hear his voice, having forgotten that he was there. He hadn't spent a whole lot of time with him, Bruce tended to deal solely with John when it came to anything the Lanterns were involved with, and Kyle felt suddenly intimidated about standing in front of _Batman_. "It's true that we were only here for a few minutes, but if you don't have anything going on you are welcome to come to Gotham with us once we finish, Kyle."

Kyle and Jason both looked at him, their eyes growing wide.

"Really?" Jason said, surprise in his voice.

"Yes," Bruce said. There was a smile on his face as he looked down at his son.

"Really?" Jason repeated. His eyes narrowed as he leaned towards him. "You're being serious?"

"Really," Bruce said, voice growing more amused. "Why wouldn't I be serious?"

"Because he's a Green Lantern!" Jason declared. "You hate Green Lanterns!"

"I do not hate Green Lanterns. I hate Hal Jordan." Kyle, despite himself, let out a hiccuped laugh at that. Bruce glanced over at him, a small amused smile on his lips, before looking back at Jason. "And I'm not inviting him to Gotham as a Green Lantern, Jason. I'm inviting him as Kyle Rayner, the friend of my son. I thought, perhaps, since the two of you hadn't seen each other in a while you would want to have a sleepover and catch up."

Jason looked completely surprised by what Bruce had said.

Kyle felt a little bit like if this conversation went on much longer, Jason's head was going to explode with the sheer force of his shock.

He cleared his throat, drawing attention to himself. "I'd like that, if Jason doesn't mind."

"I don't," Jason said.

"That's settled then," Bruce said. "Jason, why don't you call Alfred while I'm talking to J'onn and let him know we're having a guest over? I'm sure if you ask nicely, he'll take the two of you to the movies as well."

"Uh... Okay, B."

Bruce ruffled Jason's hair and gave Kyle a nod of acknowledgement before continuing down the hallway.

When he turned the corner, Kyle asked, "Did I really just get invited to Batman's house?"

"Yeah," Jason said.

"Whoa..." There was a moment of silence before Kyle said, "Do you think he'll let you show me the cave?"

"Absolutely not," Jason answered. He turned towards Kyle, adding, "But Alfred will pretend not to notice us sneaking down there after B goes on patrol."

* * *

Late that night found Kyle and Jason slipping back into Jason's bedroom.

"I can't believe it's an actual batcave!" Kyle exclaimed, feeling giddy and shocked by what he'd just discovered. "With actual bats!"

"Yeah," Jason said, nodding a bit.

"That's _insane_ ," Kyle said.

"B's a drama queen like that." Jason locked his fingers together, stretching his arms up into the air above him and yawning. He twisted a bit, looking at Kyle. "Do you wanna stay up longer or are you cool if we go to sleep?"

Kyle hummed a bit, considering. It'd been a long couple of weeks. The excitement of his day with Jason, and the copious amounts of sugar they'd eaten, had kept his moving, but now that he was winding down he found that exhaustion was creeping in steadily. "I'm okay with going to sleep."

"Awesome," Jason said. They'd both changed into their pajamas before they'd snuck down to the batcave, so they shuffled towards the bed. Jason was wearing blue Wonder Woman pajama pants with white stars crawling up one leg and a picture of Diana in costume on the other leg. He wore a black tank top with them. Kyle wore a pair of silver basketball shorts and a black tee-shirt that had a picture of Santa and red lettering that read, 'Santa's Naughty List.' "Do you care which side of the bed you get?"

Kyle shook his head, "Nope."

"Alright."

Without another word, Jason flopped himself down onto the left side of the bed.

Kyle made his way around Jason's bed, crawling up onto it and then flopping down next to him. They'd argued over pillows earlier in the night when they'd been lying on Jason's bed watching The Cat in the Hat, because Horton Hears a Who had been amazing and Kyle was adamant that they pick up the DVD so he could show Jason the full extent of Dr Seuss. "Night."

"G'night," Jason said.

Kyle laid there for a moment, thinking about the night they'd had.

Alfred had been kind enough, once the three of them arrived at the manor, to drive the two boys to the movies. Jason and Kyle had bought a giant bucket of popcorn to share as well as few packets of m&m's. They'd dumped all the candy into the popcorn. They'd spent the entirety of the movie alternating between watching as Horton tried to protect his clover and trading the red m&m's Jason picked out for the yellow ones Kyle had.

Afterwards, they'd rented the Cat in the Hat DVD. Alfred had sent them up stairs with soda and a bowl full of assorted candies. When Jason had looked at him with confusion in his face, obviously used to his older guardian pushing him to be healthier, Alfred had told him that it was okay to break the rules a bit when there were friends around. They'd spent the rest of the night making their way through candy and, once they'd finished The Cat in the Hat, a pile of DVDs they were both interested.

Long after the sun went down, the two of them crept down into the batcave. They'd spent a little while down there, Jason giving Kyle a tour and then showing him on the training dummies how some of the tech that Gotham's vigilantes used worked, before Alfred had come to shepherd them out.

It was silly, but it was the most fun Kyle had had recently.

Space was fun, but most of what he did when he was off world was work. Even the bits of the work that were enjoyable didn't ring with quite the same positive note as the things he did when he was on earth with Jason.

And, well, what made it even better was the fact that Jason wasn't just his best friend, but the best friend he had ever had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1) Hi everyone!! Thank you so so so much for all the nice, positive comments! I really hope you'll all stick around and that you enjoyed this chapter as well!
> 
> 2) This chapter covers January - April of 2008. 
> 
> 3) Here's [Kyle's hoodie](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/0f/c8/f5/0fc8f567e8c8a65f1770cabd6ffa8e54.jpg) and [Jason's pajama pants](https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/81Z2QtAyVtL._UY445_.jpg)
> 
> 4) Chapter title is from the Toy Box song "Best Friend."


	3. the final frontier

"So," Hal drawled out. Kyle glanced over at him, a small bubble of anxiety already forming in his stomach. He didn't mean for it to happen. It was just that Hal was usually in the center of a lot of trouble that Kyle had no interest in being apart of. "What did you want to do for your birthday?"

The two of them were walking down the streets of Oa together. Kyle had been teaching earlier, still a little shocked by the fact that at fifteen the planet trusted him to _teach_  other lanterns, when Hal had dropped by to take him to lunch.

Kyle was quiet for a moment, trying to process the question, before he said, "What?"

"What do you want to do for your birthday?" Hal repeated. When Kyle didn't immediately give him an answer, instead looking blankly at him as he tried to figure out what was going on, Hal went on, "You know, that thing that's happening in the middle of the month? When we celebrate the fact that your one step closer to adulthood?"

"I know when my birthday is," Kyle said.

"Oh good," Hal said. "I was starting to worry that you'd forgotten."

"You're an asshole," Kyle told him.

Hal shrugged, letting the insult roll off him. Kyle got the feeling he heard it often enough that it didn't bother him anymore. Instead, he asked again, "So, what do you want to do it for it?"

"We don't have to do anything for it," Kyle said. "I'm not a child."

"I know we don't _have_  to do anything for it, but sixteen is a pretty big deal," Hal said, clearly deciding to blow past Kyle's second statement. Kyle knew none of them really considered him a _kid_ , just like no one really considered the Titans kids, but they didn't see him as an adult either. They largely treated him the same as they did each other, Guy rough housed with him and Hal teased him and John made sure Kyle knew exactly how fed up with his shit he was, but there was also a level of care that they took with him that they didn't with each other. "I know your mom is probably going to do something for you, but the guys and I wanted to do something with you too. So..."

Kyle was quiet for a moment, thinking about what Hal had said.

For most of his life, his mother had been the only family he'd had. Since he'd gotten his ring, that circle had expanded to include the other Lanterns. No matter how much Kyle complained about not being a child, he couldn't quite bring himself to really object to how much they took care of him. He'd never known his father, but he thought that what he had with John and Hal and Guy was a lot like what having one would have felt like. He did his best not to be a burden on his mother, but he'd never deny her those things that she truly wanted to do because he was her son and she wanted to take care of him in some way. Maybe it wasn't exactly the same with the guys, he didn't know if the way they saw him was the same as the way he saw them, but he didn't want to push anyone away from doing something for him because they cared about him.

"Okay, if you're sure..." Kyle said.

"Yeah," Hal said. "So what do you want?"

Kyle hummed before saying, "I guess it'd be kinda nice to spend sometime in space without having to work. You know, just enjoy the fact that we're in _space_ and how cool that is."

"Yeah, I think we all feel like that," Hal said. He nodded a bit to himself, "Yeah, okay. A non-work space adventure then? That sounds doable."

"Oh!" Kyle exclaimed as something else occurred to him. "It'd be cool if Jason could come too."

"Jason? Bruce's boy?" Kyle nodded. "Okay, That...is going to be a little bit harder. I'll talk to John though."

"To John?" Kyle asked. "Not to Bruce?"

"Are you kidding me? If I ask Bruce myself there'd be no chance of the kid coming with us," Hal said. "At least this way, Bruce might consider letting one of his sons up into space."

* * *

"Master Kyle, it's a pleasure to see you again," Alfred greeted.

"Hi Alfred," Kyle said, smiling. He added, "I told you you could just call me Kyle."

"I know." There was a tone to his voice that made it clear that he wasn't going to change the address. He looked past Kyle, "Hello Master Stewart, Master Jordan."

"Hello," Hal greeted.

John gave a small nod of acknowledgement. Most welcome in the manor than Hal was, there was a small smile on his lips as he said, "Hello Alfred."

"I assume you are here to pick up Master Jason?"

"Yup!" Kyle said. "Is he ready?"

Alfred didn't get to answer, because the next moment Jason was ducking under his arm. Jason was wearing a pair of black jeans with a tee-shirt that was covered in an electric blue and purple galaxy pattern. A pair of black converse were laced up on his feet and a Wonder Woman backpack was strapped over his shoulders.

"Hi Kyle," Jason greeted, voice coming out in a rush. He grabbed Kyle's arm, but didn't stop moving. Instead he tried to pull Kyle along with him. Jason was going to be big when he grew up, that much was obvious from the height and muscle he already had, but for now Kyle still had a few inches and about fifty pounds of muscle over him. Jason couldn't really pull him well when Kyle wasn't going along with it, which he wasn't now because he hadn't been expecting for Jason to grab him so suddenly. "Come on. Let's go."

"What?" Kyle asked. "Why? What's the hurry?"

"It doesn't matter. Let's just _go_."

Before Kyle could respond, Bruce stepped up behind Alfred. When he spoke he didn't sound angry exactly, but there was a level of irritation in his tone. "Jason." The boy in question let go of Kyle's arm immediately, turning to face his guardian. Bruce raised an eyebrow. Jason let out a loud groan before he started trudging back over to Bruce. When he was standing in front of him, Bruce said, "Don't run away from me when I'm trying to talk to you."

"But you were being embarrassing," Jason complained.

"I'm being embarrassing because I care about you and want you to be safe," Bruce said. Jason hummed, clearly still a little upset but a little resigned to his fate. Bruce watched him for a minute before he sighed, his face softening. "Alright. I know your excited, so I won't keep you too long." Bruce said, "Just remember that you're to listen to John, okay? It's perfectly okay, and in most cases encouraged, to ignore Hal."

"Hey!" Hal objected. "I'm not _that_  bad. I'm not gonna get the kid thrown in space jail."

"If you get my kid thrown into space jail, you can be absolutely positive that you won't be having any," Bruce said, not bothering to look at Hal. Kyle heard Hal's mouth shut with an audible click. "Jay, do you understand?"

"Yes," Jason said, nodding. "Listen to John, not Hal."

"Don't cause too much trouble, okay?" Bruce said.

"I won't," Jason agreed. "Can I go now?"

"One more thing," Bruce said. He stepped forward a bit, reaching out to wrap his arms around Jason. Jason didn't hesitate to step into the hug, wrapping his own arms around Bruce. When the hug ended, Bruce pulled back so he could reach up and ruffle Jason's hair. "Alright, Jaybird, have fun."

"I will," Jason said. He looked over at Alfred, waving a bit, "Bye Alf."

"Goodbye, Master Jason," Alfred said. "I shall see you on Sunday evening."

"Yup." Jason turned to face Kyle. Despite the touching scene they'd just witnessed, he said, "Okay, can we go _now_ , Kyle? Or do you want to spend your birthday on our front steps?"

"You're a brat, but yeah we can go now," Kyle told him. As Jason moved back towards him, Kyle looked at Bruce. "Thank you for letting him come, Mr. Wayne."

Bruce shook his head, dismissing him. "It's no problem. Happy birthday, Kyle."

"Thank you!"

* * *

John hadn't wanted to take them too far away from Earth, because that meant more time traveling and less time actually on planet as well as because the closer they were the easier it would be to call the Justice League for help if Hal got them into something. They ended up going to Tantalak, a pretty big planet in the same sector as Earth.

On Friday, after they picked Jason up, they made a quick stop in one of the towns on Tantalak to pick up some supplies. Jason and Kyle were mesmerized by everything around them, the unique clothing and the strange foods and the objects that they had to ask Hal about because they had absolutely no idea what they were, but before they could really take anything in they were leaving the town. They spent the rest of the day hiking through a forest, making their way up to a cliff. Hal whined and complained, said that hiking was something old people did and that they'd have a lot more fun in the town, but Jason and Kyle had fun. The forest was filled with animals that neither of them had ever seen. At one point John had to grab them both by their collars to drag them away from something that looked like a cross between an octopus and a snake because it spit a particularly potent acid. Jason and Kyle complained about it for a few minutes before getting distracted by a strange bird call above them.

Tantalak's sun was setting as they reached the cliff John had been taking them to. The cliff faced one of Tantalak's biggest seas. All of the water on Tantalak was a soft, bubblegum pink color. It was toxic to humans like them, but it painted a gorgeous picture when the sun set over it. Kyle immediately dropped down and pulled his sketchbook out of his bag, wanting to capture the moment in front of them to show. Jason settled down next to him and pulled a book out of his bag, content to let Kyle do his thing without interruption. John dragged Hal into helping him get the tent they'd be staying in for the night ready, shutting Hal's complaints down by saying that it was Kyle's birthday so it wouldn't hurt to let him and Jason off for the night.

The next afternoon they made their back down the mountain and into the city. They spent the day there, completely surrounded by these things they had no idea about. Hal took them to a restaurant he knew where they could eat the octopus-snake thing that John had kept them from being bitten by. It was venomous in the wild, but chefs on Tantalak had figured out how to strip the venom away and make it edible. It was considered a bit of a delicacy, but Hal and John spent enough time on the planet doing Lantern things that they had connections. Jason and Kyle had been eager when Hal brought it up, but hesitant once there was a plate in front of them. Eventually, after a whole lot of Hal egging them on and John promising he'd buy them each some Tantalakan sweets to try, the two of them closed their eyes and took a bite. It ended up being one of the most delicious things either of them had ever tried.

Afterwards they made their out of the restaurant and out into the streets. John and Hal took them to an outdoor market where the four of them walked around to each booth, looking at the products they had set out. Some of them were things that Jason and Kyle could loosely guess at the usage of, things that were similar enough to things on Earth, but there were some things that they had to ask Hal and John for explanations about. Tantalak had visitors from all sorts of planets, so when John and Hal didn't know what something was either, there ere people around that were more than happy to explain.

As the day went by, Kyle couldn't help being a little upset that this weekend was all they'd have together.

He wanted to show Jason more of the galaxy, wanted to see all the wonderful things in the universe with Jason by his side.

* * *

"Jay!" Kyle called out, weaving his way through the crowd around them. Kyle had been at a stand selling what he'd learned was traditional Tantalakan art. He'd gotten absorbed in a conversation with the young Tantalakan working it, talking about how art styles differed on their planets. While he'd been talking, Jason had wandered off too look at something else. "John said that it's time to go. We're gonna go get something to eat then go to our hotel."

"Mm?" 

"Time to go." Despite knowing that they were supposed to be leaving, Kyle wrapped an arm around Jason's shoulders and leaned in to peer at what Jason had been looking at. The answer was, considering who he was with, rather unsurprising. "Books?"

"Yeah."

"Are you going to buy one?" Kyle asked. Jason shook his head. Kyle turned so he was looking at Jason. "Why not?"

"I can read it right now because I'm using Green Lantern tech, but I can't read the language normally and there's no one at home to teach me how," Jason explained.

He seemed completely unphased by how Kyle had draped himself over him and how close their faces were. Kyle didn't see it as that weird either. When Jason trusted someone, he tended to get very physical and stay close to them. Kyle was so starved for contact when he was in space, always worried about touching others since customs around physicality were so different on every planet, so when he was around humans he knew he practically attached himself to them. For them, being this close seemed natural.

"You buy books you can't read all the time," Kyle said. "Didn't you tell me you got Anna Karenina in the original Russian? That's not one of the languages you speak, right?"

"That's different," Jason said. "I can't read Russian right now, but Alfred is around to help me learn. I don't know anyone on Earth who can teach me how to read this."

"Oh." Kyle looked back down at the book directly in front of Jason, the one he'd been staring at with interest when Kyle had walked up. The title didn't exactly give away what the book was about, even translated as it was, but the design on the cover made it look like some kind of fairy tail. It was a fairly thick book, so Kyle wondered if it was a compilation of some kind. "Are you sure you don't want to buy it?"

"Yeah," Jason said, nodding a bit. "Books are meant to be read and enjoyed. If I bought it, I'd just feel like I was committing some kind of offense against the author since I can't enjoy the story they wrote."

"That's poetic," Kyle said.

"It's something Alfred told me," Jason said.

"Hey, twerp." A hand dropped onto Kyle's head, putting just a bit of pressure on him. Kyle shifted, finding that it was Hal standing behind him. "We sent you over here to get him. You weren't supposed to sit here chatting."

"Sorry," Kyle said. His voice held about as much remorse as he felt, which was to say none at all. He glanced back at the book Jason had been looking at one last time before ducking under Hal's arm. With Hal's weight off of him, he looped his arm through Jason's and started tugging the younger boy away. He could see John standing a few feet from them, waiting. Hal fell into step with them. "Do you know where we're going for dinner?"

"Not anywhere as nice as where we went for lunch," Hal said. "We were gonna find something a little less strange looking than Qeomatsi."

"That's the snake-octopus thing right?" Jason asked.

"Yeah," Hal said. "John thought you guys might've wanted something that looks and taste a bit more like something you're used to."

"I mean the snake-octopus thing tastes pretty good," Kyle said, "but the nine sets of dead eyes staring at me were a little off putting."

* * *

"Alright," Jason said as he re-entered the living room. He was carrying a large rectangle that was covered in black wrapping paper with balloons, confetti, and party hats on it in bright colors. "Here it is."

It was Sunday afternoon and the two of them had just gotten back from their weekend with John and Hal. Their chaperones had already taken off, but Bruce had invited Kyle in so Jason could give him his present.

"Thank you," Kyle said, leaning forward to take the package when Jason held it out for him.

"I mean, maybe thank me _after_ you open it," Jason said. He settled down on the couch next to Kyle, pulling his feet up onto the cushion with him and folding them under him. As Kyle started to peel the paper off, careful not to rip it too much so it wouldn't cause too much of a mess, Jason added, "If you don't like it, let me know. I'll get you something else."

Kyle barely heard the end of Jason's statement, though, because he'd wrapped enough of the package to see what it was he'd gotten.

"Jay," Kyle said, his voice coming out breathy despite himself. "These are Rembrandt Pastels.

"Yeah," Jason said. Kyle looked over to find that Jason was biting his bottom lip, looking worried. "The lady at the store said that Unison pastels were better, but they only had single palettes for those and I thought maybe having more colors would be better." He paused before asking, "Do you not like them? Should I have gotten you the other ones?"

Kyle used pencils more than anything else since they were easy to carry around, but being in space had inspired him to try more mediums now. Especially since there were somethings that he found impossible to capture in pencils. He'd mentioned to Jason offhand that he'd taken a liking to pastels, but he hadn't expected Jason to buy him a set of them that cost almost five hundred dollars.

"These are fantastic," Kyle said, shaking his head a bit. "But they're so expensive."

"Uh....yeah," Jason agreed. "But I wanted to get you something you'd like."

Kyle knew that Jason still struggled with spending Bruce's money, that he couldn't quite get used to the fact that being adopted by Bruce meant he had more money than he could spend in his lifetime, so the fact that Jason had bought something that cost this much for him meant that much more.

"Thank you," Kyle said. He set the box to the side before leaning forward to wrap his arms around him. Jason seemed surprised at first, but then he wrapped his arms around Kyle and hugged back. "Thank you so much, Jay."

"It's no problem," Jason said, shaking his head a bit.

When they pulled apart, Kyle said, "I'm so glad I went back and got the book for you now."

Jason's eyebrows furrowed. "What?"

Kyle grabbed his backpack from the floor in front of them, unzipping the biggest pouch so he could pull out a small bag. He passed it towards Jason, who peeked inside of it.

As he did, Kyle explained, "I asked John to go back and grab the book you were looking at on Tantalak. Then I made a trip to Oa to grab the glasses. The Lanterns usually just use the rings for translations, but those glasses are infused with some of the rings power so they'll translate for you." He added, "They'll translate any language that's known to the Corps, so if you ever go to another alien planet you don't have to worry about not being able to read the books there."

"It was your birthday, though," Jason said, looking away from the book and up at Kyle. "You didn't have to get me anything."

"I know I didn't have to, but I wanted to," Kyle said.

Jason gripped the bag, pulling it towards his chest a bit. "Thank you, Kyle."

"It was no problem."

Before either of them could say anything else, Alfred cleared his throat. They both looked up to find him standing in the doorway that lead to the dining room and kitchen. "I've prepared some cake, if you would like to move into the dining room."

"Cake?" Kyle questioned. "For what?"

"Your birthday, duh," Jason said. When Kyle looked at him, surprised, Jason said, "I told Alfred that you didn't have any birthday cake this weekend because we weren't on earth, so he made you one."

"Chocolate and almond," Alfred said. "Master Jason told me it is a favorite of yours."

"Oh. Thank you."

Jason shifted, climbing to his feet.

When Kyle didn't immediately get up as well, Jason held a hand out to help him up. "Come on. If we don't get some soon, Bruce is going to end up eating it all. He always eats the chocolate stuff."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1) Hello everyone! How have you been? Hopefully good! Hopefully you also enjoyed this chapter! I'd love to hear your thoughts on it, so leave a comment below if you can! 
> 
> 2) Usually these chapters span about three months, but this one takes place entirely in May of 2008. 
> 
> 3) I'm subtitling this chapter "Dadlanterns and crushing hard"
> 
> 4) Might I be overdoing Jason's love for Wonder Woman? Yes. Do I particularly care? Not really. On that note [here](https://target.scene7.com/is/image/Target/50769752?wid=520&hei=520&fmt=pjpeg) is Jason's backpack
> 
> 5) I ALMOST had Bruce tell Jason that he was being embarrassing because he loves him, but I decided to go for "care" instead. 
> 
> 6) I didn't go into space logistics, but I imagine John took care of money and translation software. Hopefully not adding that detail didn't ruin anything for anyone. 
> 
> 7) I think I messed up Alfred's forms of address, but I couldn't find anything online telling me exactly how to do it and I haven't read comics with Alfred in them frequently recently enough to have been able to look it up myself.


	4. the consequences of your slipping tongue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last chapter all took place in May, but this chapter goes back to covering three months - June 2008 (the first two sections), July 2008 (the third section/the interlude), and August 2008 (the last two sections).

"Kyle!"

At the sound of his name, Kyle twisted to look behind him.

Dick and Wally were standing near one of the doorways that Kyle had passed.

"Hey!" Kyle greeted, feeling himself smile as he caught sight of them.

"Hey yourself," Dick said. He and Wally left the doorway they'd been standing in, making their way down the hallway to Kyle. "I feel like we haven't seen you in forever."

"Yeah, it's been a while," Kyle agreed. He searched his memory, trying to figure out when the last time he'd spent any significant amount of time with the Titans. It had definitely been a few montha ago. He'd been on Oa for the beginning of May and then he'd spent his birthday off planet with Jason before heading back to Oa. It was mid-June now and he was only just now getting back to Earth. "It's nice to see you guys, though."

"It's nice to see you too!" Wally said. Dick stopped an acceptable distance away from Kyle, but Wally just kept going until he was right up in Kyle's space. He wrapped his arms around Kyle in a tight hug. "And congratulations on turning sixteen!"

"Thank you," Kyle said, returning Wally's hug.

"We would've taken you out somewhere to celebrate," Dick said as Wally stepped away back. "But you weren't around and Donna said you weren't answering her texts."

"Sorry, I was off planet so my phone wasn't really working," Kyle said. All of them had Justice League communicators as well, but those were only used for emergencies. "Thanks for thinking of me though."

"You spent your birthday working?" Wally said, scrunching his nose at the idea.

"Not working," Kyle answered, shaking his head a bit. "Space is cool, you know?, and I don't really get to enjoy the places I go since I'm usually working. Hal and John took Jason and I to one of the nearby planet for the weekend." Remembering the weekend, a small smile settled on his lips. "It was a lot of fun! I'm probably gonna see if Jay wants to do something like that for his birthday too."

Wally glanced over at Dick, letting out a soft, "Oh."

Kyle looked over at Dick was well, finding that the older boy's lips had thinned and his smile was looking more forced than before. Kyle hadn't really thought about it, but looking at his friend reminded him that Dick and Bruce weren't exactly on good terms and that Jason was a sore spot for Dick.

Dick seemed to think that the new Robin was Bruce's attempt at getting a redo on Dick, that he was such a disappointment that Bruce needed another boy to mold into who he wanted him to be. Having actually spent time with Jason and Bruce, Kyle knew that wasn't the case. Jason was nothing like Dick and trying to mold him into anyone other than who he was, much less trying to mold him into someone even remotely like Dick, would never have worked.

More so than that, though, was the fact that Bruce clearly didn't _care_  what type of person Jason was as long as his son was safe and happy.

Kyle couldn't imagine that his feelings towards Dick were any different.

"Anyway," Wally said, clearly trying to turn the conversation away from that train of thought. "Dick and I were gonna go get lunch with Donna. She was up here talking to Diana, but she said they're all done now. Do you want to come with us?"

"I would, but I already made plans," Kyle said.

"With who?" Dick asked.

Wally added, "You should just invite whoever to come with us. We can all go together."

"I don't think that's a good idea," Kyle said. Because the moment couldn't possibly get any more awkward, he clarified, "I'm meeting up with Jason. We're gonna go get frozen yogurt."

"Oh," Wally said. There was a quiet, awkward, moment before he said, "Well come with us next time then, okay? We miss you."

"I will," Kyle agreed, nodding a bit. "I'm supposed to be on planet all weekend. I'll drop by Titan Tower one afternoon."

"That's a good plan," Wally said. His smile was bright, because Wally seemed to be made of sunshine and had a natural ability to smooth things over. "We'll see you soon then."

"Yeah, see ya," Kyle answered.

He flashed Dick a smile, Dick managed to flash one back that was a little less awkward and a little more genuine, before he turned and started making his way back down the hallway.

He didn't know why other people couldn't see how amazing Jason was, but since it'd taken a while for him to realize it, Kyle supposed it wasn't too bad. Things would probably work out eventually. He'd just have to be more careful of mentioning Jason around Dick until they did.

* * *

"What kind did you get?" Jason asked.

He was sitting in the chair across the table from Kyle. His cup of frozen yogurt, cinnamon churro with chocolate sauce over it, sat on the table between them. He was wearing a Gotham Knights tank top, pure black with the Knights logo drawn in gold in the center, with light jeans that were ripped at the knees. Kyle knew that Jason and Bruce argued about the jeans a lot, Bruce was adamant against paying for ripped jeans, but ultimately Bruce had given in. Alfred, Kyle knew, wasn't very happy about that.

They'd started hanging out at the end of August last year, shortly after Jason's thirteenth birthday, so the weather had been chilly for most of their friendship.

It was warmer now and Kyle found himself noticing, for the first time, how much Jason had grown over the past year. At almost fourteen, his body was finding it easier to put on muscle and it was packing in everywhere. He was bigger and taller than Kyle now. His biceps were larger and the muscles there more defined, his shoulders were wider and Kyle found his eyes constantly drawn to the flexing muscles along Jason's back when he was turned away from him, and his thighs were thicker. His hair was growing longer too, curling around his ears and the nape of his neck. It fell in the way of his eyes sometimes. Occasionally, Kyle's fingers twitched with the urge to reach out and push some of it away so he could see Jason's gorgeous blue eyes.

He tried not to think about what that meant too often. Jason was almost fourteen to Kyle's sixteen, so it wasn't their ages that bothered Kyle. Rather what kept Kyle from thinking too deeply about what he felt for his best friend was that Jason was his _best friend_. He didn't think anything - much less a stupid crush - was worth potentially losing that 

"You were right there when I ordered it!" Kyle said.

"I wasn't paying attention," Jason answered, making it clear that he didn't feel any shame about that.

"What were you doing instead?" Kyle asked. "You ordered before I did."

"I was making sure the lady put enough chocolate sauce on my yogurt," Jason responded. He raised himself up from his seat, moving so he could lean across the table and get closer to Kyle, repeating, "What did you get?"

"Pink lemonade with strawberry chunks," Kyle said.

Jason hummed, considering. "Let me try it."

"What? No," Kyle objected, shaking his head. He pulled the cup of frozen yogurt closer to his chest. "It's mine."

"I wanna try it though," Jason said. "I'll let you try mine."

"I don't want to try yours."

"Well, don't try mine then. I still want to try yours." He leaned further across the table, his stomach practically flat against the tabletop. He insisted, "Come on, Kyle. Let me try it!"

Kyle groaned, but relented. He scooped some of his treat onto his spoon than held it out for Jason.

Jason closed his mouth around it, lips plump and dark against the white spoon.

To distract himself, Kyle joked, "I should've gone to lunch with Wally, Dick, and Donna instead. They wouldn't have stolen my food."

Jason pulled back. He licked his lips after he swallowed.

Kyle was expecting him to comment on the frozen yogurt, but instead Jason asked, "You were going to go to lunch with the Titans?"

"No," Kyle said, shaking his head. Jason's voice had been light and teasing before, but now there was a measure of something darker in it. He didn't sound angry exactly, but he sounded more upset than he had been moments before. "I bumped into them in the hallway and they asked me to go out with them, but I already had plans with you. I told them I'd go out with them later this weekend."

"Oh," Jason said.

Kyle didn't think that Jason had the same hang ups about Dick that Dick had about Jason, but he didn't really see what else would have set Jason off. He knew Jason didn't get along with the Titans, but he didn't think he was _that_  effected by that. Jason never seemed to mind that they didn't like him, aside from not wanting Bruce to force him to hang out with him.

Before Kyle could ask Jason about it, Jason was speaking again. "The pink lemonade is good, but I don't like it with the strawberries."

"What?" Kyle said. "You don't like the strawberries? What kind of _heathen_  are you?"

"I like strawberries," Jason argued. "I just think it'd taste better without them."

"Are you crazy? The strawberries make it taste so good!" Kyle said. "Without them it'd be a little too sour."

"No way. The sweetness of the strawberries just wastes the bite of the pink lemonade."

Kyle got so wrapped up in arguing about whether strawberries tasted good in pink lemonade frozen yogurt, that he barely noticed that Jason was more subdued than he usually was when they were bickering.

* * *

Kyle wasn't on Earth very long after that, but it was long enough for him to notice that Jason acting strange around him wasn't just confined to their frozen yogurt trip.

Jason was never where Kyle thought he would be. It was as if he was purposefully not going to his usual spots because he knew that Kyle knew he would be there. It was as if he was avoiding Kyle.

On the occasions that Kyle managed to find Jason, usually because they'd bumped into each other in the hallway at the watchtower, Kyle had to actively convince Jason to spend time with him. He'd claim that he had homework or was busy doing something for Bruce - things which he'd previously pushed aside in order to spend time with Kyle. He had asked him once why, because Jason cared more about his education than anyone else Kyle had ever met and he knew that while the time they spent together was fun they weren't exactly important enough to risk his grades dropping. Jason had told him it was because his homework could usually wait a little while longer, while Kyle would only be on planet for so long. The fact that Jason seemed to have changed his tune about that which only fed the realization that Jason was avoiding him for some reason.

Even when they were together, things weren't necessarily the same as they had been. They were still laughing and enjoying time together, but Jason was quieter and a little less animated. It was like no matter what they were doing, there was something weighing on his mind that kept him from being himself.

Only...Kyle couldn't figure out what the problem was.

He thought that maybe he'd crossed some line in one of their conversations, but he couldn't think of anything that would have caused this. Jason didn't get angry in this silent, passive aggressive way. He faced his anger head on. He didn't tiptoe around it. He screamed and shouted and raged. If he was really angry at Kyle, he wouldn't have hesitated to get in Kyle's face about it.

Kyle considered, briefly, that maybe Jason didn't want to spend time with him anymore, that maybe something had happened and Jason just...didn't like him anymore. He dismissed the idea as quickly as it came.

Jason was clearly unhappy about _something_ , but the bond the two of them shared was one that Kyle knew wouldn't break like that. The two of them meant too much to each other, liked and cared for each other too much, for their friendship to fall apart like that.

That left Kyle with an unhappy best friend and no idea how to fix whatever was happening between them.

It was something that made Kyle's stomach sink. Jason was one of the most important people in his life, second only to his mother, and not being able to do something to help him made Kyle feel terrible.

Jason was his best friend, and a little more than that, and Kyle had a ring that had more power than most people could imagine. But he still couldn't help Jason at all. 

* * *

"Kyle, are you okay?"

Kyle had been pushing the pasta on his plate around, trying to figure out if there were anymore tomatoes that he needed to pick out, but now he looked up at Donna. "What?"

He was at lunch with Dick, Donna, and Wally.

With Jason avoiding him, Kyle had a lot more free time when he was on planet and had taken to going to San Francisco to have lunch with them at least every time he was on planet. Depending on how Jason was acting, though, it ended up being more like two or three times a visit. Kyle loved the Titans, but he'd rather have spent that time with Jason. But when Jason wasn't an option, spending time with them was better than hanging around the watchtower alone.

"Are you okay?" Donna repeated. She was looking at him, face softened with worry.

"I'm just picking the tomatoes out?" Kyle said, feeling confused about why Donna thought something was wrong. "I'm not not eating because I'm sick or something. I just don't want tomatoes in my pasta."

"That's not what she's talking about," Dick said. When Kyle just stared at him, feeling even more confused now, Dick elaborated, "You've been weird the last few times we've seen you. You don't seem as happy."

"Oh."

"You don't have to talk about it with us," Donna said, "but if you want to talk about it, we're here for you."

Kyle was quiet for a moment, considering. He didn't want to make Dick uncomfortable, but at the same time he thought that maybe talking about Jason would help. Jason adored Donna. They weren't as close as Kyle and Jason were, but he didn't ignore him the way the other teens heroes seemed to.

"It's about Jason," Kyle said at last. He focused on Dick. "Is that okay? I don't want to make you uncomfortable."

"It's fine," Dick answered. His body had tightened, tensing up in the face of a topic that made him so uncomfortable. Still, he said, "I can't say I'm going to be completely comfortable talking about him, or that I'm going to be any help honestly, but we're your friends. We want to help you."

Kyle hesitated for a moment before deciding to just go for it. "Jason's just been acting weird is all. He's quiet and he never wants to do anything with me. I think something's bothering him, but I don't know what it is or how I'm supposed to fix it."

Wally hummed a bit before asking, "Are you sure there's something wrong with him? Because that doesn't sound too much different from the way he usually acts."

Kyle had never really felt upset about the fact that most of the heroes their age didn't like Jason, understanding that most of them had been around Dick for years and developed a close bond with him, but he felt anger pool in his gut at Wally's words. He opened his mouth, to tell him that Jason was nothing like that and the only reason Wally thought so was because Wally made it pretty clear that his friendship with Dick was his top priority, but Donna spoke before he could get the words out.

"No, Jason's nothing like that," she said, shaking her head. "He's very loud, very talkative. He rambles a lot. He gets very excited too. So much so that he never seems to be able to sit still. I'm always surprised by how much he loves reading, because he's practically vibrating with all this energy every time I see him."

"Isn't that just because he practically worships the ground you and Diana walk on?"

"Jason doesn't worship them," Kyle argued. It wasn't his place to tell him that Jason's deep admiration came because he'd spent his childhood seeing how strong women could be and found that Diana and Donna were the very embodiment of that strength. Instead, he said, "Being a fan of something doesn't mean you worship it."

"And anyway," Donna said, glancing at Kyle in a way that meant he hadn't quite kept his anger out of his voice. "I've spoken to Jason enough for him to calm down a little bit. You don't really have any reason to dispute Kyle's description given that you don't interact with him."

It was enough for Wally to go quiet.

There was a moment before Dick spoke, shocking all of them, "Kyle, have you tried _asking_  Jason what's wrong?"

"Uh...not really," Kyle answered, a little thrown by Dick's participation in the discussion.

"I don't know much about him aside from what Alfred's told me," Dick said. "From what I do know, though, Jason wasn't raised in an environment that really allowed him to just talk about his problems. He's not going to open up without you asking him about it."

"Dick's right," Donna agreed. "Talk to him about it, Kyle. He'll either tell you what's going on or he'll ask you to leave it alone. Either way, he'll know that you're there for him to talk about.

* * *

"Okay, well, you absolutely demolished me," Kyle said, peering at the scorecard in his hand.

It was the day after Jason's fourteenth birthday.

Originally Kyle had wanted to go off planet for Jason's birthday the way they had his, but Jason had declined. He'd told Kyle it was because he valued spending his birthday with Bruce, which Kyle thought was probably true given that he didn't think Jason had done very much for the first twelve birthdays of his life, but Kyle thought it was more than that as well. After all, he'd offered to arrange things so they could go off planet the week before or after Jason's birthday and Jason hadn't wanted to do that either.

So instead Kyle had left Jason to spend his actual birthday with Bruce and Alfred, then shown up in Gotham the day after to drag him out with him.

The two of them had just got finished a round of glow-in-the-dark mini golf. It was a pretty mundane thing, but it was something neither of them had gotten to do when they were younger. Kyle's mother had tried her best to take him to do something once a month, but mini golf had always been a bit more expensive than other things in LA. He and Jason had gone together a few times before, though, and it had always been fun. They were competitive people and mini-golf came with solid score that they could wave in the other's face.

"Mmmm."

Kyle glanced over at Jason.

He'd been expecting gloating and teasing. That was Jason's usual thing when he won, just like Kyle did on the occasions that he'd won.

He watched Jason for a moment, mauling over Donna and Dick's suggestion from earlier in his visit. He didn't want to ruin Jason's birthday by bringing this up, but it was Jason's _birthday_  and he wanted him to be happy.

"Jay," he said, at last. Jason hummed again, looking over at him. "Are you okay?

"What?"

"Are you okay?" Kyle repeated. "You've been acting weird the past couple of months. You haven't been acting like yourself. If there's something wrong, I want to help you." When Jason just looked at him, surprise in his eyes, Kyle tacked on, " _Please_  let me help."

"I don't-" Jason stopped. He let out a frustrated sound. "I don't know what it is you want from me Kyle."

"I just want to help you."

"Not that," Jason dismissed. "I act like myself and you tell me you'd rather spend time with the Titans than me. I try to tone it down and you do this." He repeated, voice holding a spark of anger, "I don't know what you _want_  from me."

Kyle gaped at him for a minute. Then he said, "I've never in my life said that I'd prefer to spend time with the Titans instead of you."

"You weren't exactly speaking a foreign language, Kyle!"

Kyle had to bite down the urge to point out that even if he _had_  said it in a foreign language Jason probably would have understood him. Jason was fluent in three languages, passable in two more, and elementary in another two.

Kyle responded, "I'm never said that and if I did then it was a joke!"

"How was I supposed to know that?"

"Because I like you!" Kyle shouted. Feeling angry and frustrated because Jason was yelling at him and accusing him of things he had no memory of saying, he hardly realized what was coming out of his mouth. "I like the Titans, they're my friends, but there's not a single one of them that I would ever prefer to you! There's no one I want to spend time with as much as I want to spend time with you! There's no one that I care about the way that I care about you. There's certainly no one on the Titans that I have a big stupid crush on like I do you! And even if I didn't have a crush the size of Neptune on you, we're friends! Best friends! Why would I  _ever_ prefer one of them to you?" 

There was a moment of silence where they just stared at each other, all of Jason's frustration wiped away and replaced by shock, before Kyle realized what had spilled out of his mouth.

All of the anger let him.

Kyle felt drained.

He watched Jason for a moment.

When Jason just stared back without saying anything, Kyle let out a sigh.

"I know I said I'd take you to get ice cream, but I think I'm going to go home instead," Kyle said. "I'll see you later."

When he left, Jason didn't call after him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1) Hello everyone! I hope you enjoyed this chapter!
> 
> 2) There's a little bit of misunderstanding in this chapter!! I promise it'll be resolved next chapter! Kyle's only going to get about a month to sulk and that's only because he's off world for that time. 
> 
> 3) I'm a little unsure that Jason's thought process makes sense? But honestly - Kyle making a joke about having should have gone to spend time with the Titan's instead wouldn't have sat well with him. And we all know that Jason can stew on things/be a little dramatic, so to me it's not totally out of place that he'd latch onto that one thing until it was bothering him enough to feel like he was burdening Kyle. Especially given that Jason's already being ostracized by the rest of the heroes their age. It'd be easier for him to group Kyle with those people than to separate him from them. That added to both of them being a bit hot headed doesn't make for a good combination. 
> 
> 4)This....wasn't supposed...to...include...Kyle's confession?? Honestly I didn't even realize I was writing it until it was written. I kept it because I actually like it, but I'm worried it's very sudden...
> 
> 5) To some people the idea of a fourteen year old being left alone like Jason was when Kyle left might be weird, but to me it seems okay? I know at fourteen I was trusted to go out on my own. I'm sure that would be double so for someone like Jason.


	5. why do you always think running is the solution?

"Don't forget to stop by the tower before you go see your family," John said.

"I won't," Hal said. He waved a hand dismissively. "I won't, I won't."

The four Earth lanterns were sitting together in a small restaurant on Oa. John and Hal kept a rotating schedule, one of them doing patrol closer to Earth while the other went further out in their sector, so that they could both spend time on Earth. They were getting ready to switch around and it had become a bit of a tradition that all four of them got something to eat together when they did, so that whichever one of them had been on Earth could report back to Guy and Kyle about things going on at home. The original purpose was so that they'd all know how their families was doing, but more and more often now it was just about gossiping while they enjoyed each other's company.

"I'm serious, Hal," John said. "Go to the tower before you go to Jim's. Otherwise you're just going to use the kids to put it off so that you don't have to risk bumping into Batman."

Kyle had been focused on trying to figure out what they'd ordered for him, he'd been a little late since he'd gotten caught up in helping with training exercises at the academy and John clearly hadn't kept Hal and Guy from getting ridiculous with Kyle's order, but he found himself pausing at the mention of Batman. Not that he had anything against the man, but because Batman reminded him of _Jason_.

After the disaster that was their last meeting, Kyle had been avoiding going back to Earth. Partly because he still felt hurt and betrayed by Jason's belief that Kyle was going to just drop him for the Titans. It felt like Jason had taken all of their interactions and all of the pieces of himself that Kyle had given him during them, then told Kyle that it wasn't _enough_. It felt like he'd told Kyle that it didn't matter that Jason was the most important person in Kyle's life because he hadn't shown Jason that in the way that Jason wanted.

The other thing that kept him from going home was the reminder of what he'd said to Jason the last time they'd seen each other. He hadn't meant to spew his feelings out like that. Just because he'd been nursing a giant crush on his best friend didn't mean that he'd had any intentions of putting it out here at all, much less putting it out there like that. He was angry at Jason for what he thought, but the anger let him hold onto their friendship.

If he went back to Earth, if he talked to Jason and heard what he had to say about what Kyle had told him, then he risked losing that.

This limbo his relationship with Jason seemed to be in wasn't fantastic, but as far as he was concerned it was better than the alternative.

"I'm not going to avoid the tower just to keep from seeing Batman," Hal insisted.

Guy huffed out a laugh. "I think all of our lives would be easier if you did."

"I am not the problem!" Hal insisted. "He's the one who starts it. He's always so pretentious and way too serious and-"

"Yeah," John interrupted."But you're obnoxious and childish so I think it balances out."

Guy burst into loud, gruff chuckles and a huff of laughter slipped through Kyle's lips before he could stop it.

"How dare you," Hal said, voice full of mock offensive. "Aren't we partners here, John? Are you really going to take _Batman's_  side?"

"Well, I'm certainly not going to take your side," John answered. He looked away from Hal, casually turning his attention to his meal. John took a bite of his food, a meat from one of the nearby planets that reminded Kyle of chicken, before looking up. Still ignoring Hal, he said, "I dropped by your mom's place before I came back here, Kyle. She was wondering when you were coming back. You've been up here a little longer than usual."

"Oh! Come back with me," Hal said. "That way Bruce will get distracted by whatever plans you and Jason are making and I can slip past him without having to talk to him."

Kyle thought about it.

He was still too worried about his relationship with Jason to do anything about that, but he had been on Oa much longer than he usually was and he did miss his mom. 

"I'll come to Earth with you," Kyle agreed. "But I'm not going to the watchtower. I'm just going to go see my mom."

When the other Lanterns looked at each other, confusion and concern in their eyes, Kyle turned back to his meal and studiously ignored them.

A flash of relief rushed through him when none of them brought it up, instead Guy asked John if he'd checked up on his own mother and how she'd been.

* * *

"So do I need to buy more ice cream or smack you upside the head?"

Kyle was sitting on the couch in his mother's house. He had a throw blanket from his childhood wrapped around his shoulders and his legs covered in fuzzy pajama pants. Los Angeles in September was a hell hole, but Kyle had cranked the air higher enough that the house was freezing.

It was late so he had the lights off. It wasn't so late that it was unusual for him to be up or for his mother to be out, especially not now that his Lantern money was helping enough for her to drop her second job and have an actual social life, but it was dark. Enough so that Law & Order reruns seemed to be the only thing on TV.

She'd gone to get drinks with some friends of hers from her work, but he'd been so absorbed in the episode that he was watching that he hadn't noticed her coming in.

Kyle jumped a bit at the initial question, caught off guard and a little spooked after hours of watching a crime show, and whipped around to see who was speaking. He let out a relieved sigh when he spotted her. "Mom. Hi."

"Hello," she greeted, the small affectionate smile she reserved for him gracing her lips. It faded after a moment. She repeated, "Do I need to buy more ice cream or smack you upside the head?"

"I'm not sure why you think you need to do either," Kyle said.

"You've been home all weekend," she said.

"I always come home when I'm on Earth," Kyle pointed out.

"Don't be a smart-ass," she chided, though there was a familiar amusement in the words. "You may come home, but you don't usually stay here like this. You usually meet up with your friends instead of hunkering down on our couch." She crossed the room, perching on the arm of the couch and reaching out for him. When she ran her fingers through his hair, he leaned into the comforting touch. It reminded him of her soothing his bangs back to kiss a sick, sweaty forehead or tousling his hair as she mused over whether it was time for another cut. "You holing yourself up in here means that your avoiding someone. Do you need ice cream because they broke your heart or a smack to your head because you did something to hurt someone you love?"

It was hard to get defensive around his mother. She loved him so unconditionally and had given so much up for him that Kyle rarely started a real fight with her. The very least she deserved was his honesty when she asked him something.

"A bit of both, I think, Mama," Kyle answered. She hummed, soft and questioning. It gave him room to elaborate, but it didn't force him to. Fully aware of how much of a mamas boy he was, he said, "I said something to Jason that made him angry a while ago, but I didn't realize he was upset about it. So when I did realize it, we got into a fight and it was all very stupid. Then, I told him all about my giant crush on him and broke my own heart."

His mother let out a soft sigh. Kyle let out a whine, unhappy with the way her tone made it clear she thought he was being silly.

Before he could complain, she scratched her nails against his scalp. It was enough for his protests to quiet.

"Sweetheart," she said, "you are a very smart boy, but sometimes you are also a very stupid one." She leaned down, pressing a kiss against his head. Before he could ask what she meant, she pushed herself to her feet and made her way towards her room. "Alright. Good night, I love you, don't stay up too late."

* * *

Usually Kyle would have only been home for a weekend, trading longer visits for shorter more frequent ones, but since it'd been a while he was planning on being there for the entire week. He would have been perfectly fine spending the entire week wrapped up in his blanket as he caught up on all of the trashy Earth television he'd missed, but when Monday rolled around his mother put her foot down.

She practically dragged him into the shower, insisting that he put something other than pajamas on. When he finished and had gotten dressed, putting on a pair of tan cargo shorts and a dark blue tank top, she'd told him that he needed to get out of the house for a while. He'd tried arguing, saying that he wanted to spend time with her, but she'd shut him down. His mother had told him that she wasn't going to work until three and that he'd been in serious trouble if she saw him in the house before then. He'd grumbled about it a bit, but ultimately agreed. She'd smiled, kissed his cheeks, than practically shoved him out of the house.

He suspected, given their brief conversation last night, that his mother was trying to force him into facing his problems. He chose to ignore that fact. Instead of going to the watchtower where he could potentially run into Jason, Kyle called some of his more artistic friends from school to hangout. They were all a little more carefree and go-with-the-flow. They were fine with going to school, but none of them minded skipping either.

At first, it was fine. They'd grown apart, what with Kyle rarely even on Earth much less in school, but they were still his friends and it was easy to fall in with them again. There was a new exhibit in the Los Angeles County Art Museum that all of them had seen while Kyle was gone and fallen in love with, so they were eager to show it to him and he was happy to go see it with them. There'd been pass exhibits that Kyle had loved so much that he'd dragged every friend he had to see, regardless of their interest in art, just so he could see the exhibit again. He didn't mind them using him to do the same.

Kyle had fun and he loved the exhibit as much as they did, but the longer he was there with them, the more he found himself thinking about Jason.

He thought about one of the visits shortly before his slip up about the Titans. His mother had been working on a project that had her busy for the weekend, so Kyle had eaten dinner with her on Friday night than gone to spend the weekend in Gotham with Jason. The two of them had gone to The Museum of Modern Art in Manhattan on Saturday. Jason wasn't nearly as enraptured as Kyle, so he walked through close to Kyle and whispered to him as they went. He made up stories about the other people in the museum with them, telling Kyle fake details of their lives that had him giggling. By the time Kyle was satisfied, it was late in the afternoon. They ended up walking around until they found a small, but busy food truck on one of the streets. They ordered tacos and walked down the street while eating, Kyle gushing about his favorite pieces and Jason listening attentively. Afterwards Alfred had picked them up and taken them back to the manor. The rest of the day had been spent sitting on the couch, their knees touching, as they played video games and watched movies. Jason skipped patrol, but they still didn't go to sleep until long after Bruce had gotten back from it.

He missed days like that.

He missed _Jason_.

There was a chance that his confession would rock their friendship so much that Jason would hate him, but there was also a possibility that Jason would simply tell him that he didn't feel the same way and they could move on. Kyle might be stuck on him for a little while, but eventually he would get over it.

Then they could go back to being friends like always.

Kyle very carefully didn't think about the third option, the one that would result in a positive change in their relationship instead of their friendship crumbling.

* * *

Although Kyle had decided several weeks ago that he needed to get over everything and speak to Jason, he hadn't been able to actually do it until now. There'd been a huge battle that most of the League had helped with, then he'd had to help one of the newer Lanterns mediate a war brewing between two of the planets in their sector. Talking to Jason had been put off.

It was almost a month later that Kyle stood in front of Wayne Manor, fidgeting as he waited for the door to open. Kyle was wearing a light sweater, the sleeves long enough for him to pull nervously at the ends, and a pair of comfortable jeans. It was still early October but Gotham seemed to make itself as unpleasant as possible so it'd already exchanged sticky unbearable heat for unpleasant, biting winds.

He chewed on his lip a bit as he waited, mentally running through what he intended to say. He knew that there was a very slim chance of him actually saying what he had planned, partly because he wasn't very good with scripts and partly because he knew Jason was likely to interrupt him at some point, but he liked being at least a little bit prepared. Jason was sure to say something that would knock him off balance, but at least Kyle would have solid footing for a few minutes.

Staring at the door had felt too intimidating since it came with the possibility of immediately locking eyes with whoever opened it, so Kyle had focused his gaze somewhere to the left of the door.

"Master Kyle." At the sound of his name, Kyle startled. He looked towards the door again to find Alfred standing in the doorway. His face was blank. To Kyle, who had spent enough time around the Wayne's to know how unusual that was, that portrayed more coldness than a frown could.

"Hi Alfred," Kyle greeted. He tried to smile at the man, but he had a feeling it came out looking a little forced and uncomfortable.

"What can I do for you?" Alfred asked. 

Kyle wondered what Jason had been like these past few months. Alfred definitely knew that something had happened between Kyle and Jason. And whatever Alfred thought about it, it certainly wasn't positive.

"I was wondering if Jason was around," Kyle said.

"Were you?" Alfred said, his voice a slow questioning drawl.

Kyle was sorely tempted to draw back and simply try to catch Jason at the tower. No monster he had faced was as terrifying as Alfred Pennyworth when someone had hurt one of his charges. Secretly, Kyle thought there wasn't really any need for the Justice League because if any intergalactic invaders made it to Gotham and hurt Bruce, Alfred would wipe the entire fleet out and then the race just for good measure.

Still, he'd come to the manor because he wanted to have this conversation somewhere that Jason would be comfortable. Kyle had avoided this conversation for so long that Jason deserved at least that comfort while they had it.

"Yes sir," Kyle said, forcing himself not to fidget under Alfred's gaze. Hoping it would smooth things over a bit, he said, "I wanted to apologize for the way things went the last time we saw each other."

Alfred watched him for a moment, assessing. His expression didn't falter, but he did move aside. "Come in then."

Kyle gave a small, thankful smile as he stepped inside. He didn't want to risk Alfred changing his mind. "Thank you."

"Master Jason is in his bedroom," Alfred said. "I would show you the way, but I believe you would both prefer a little privacy for this conversation."

"Thank you," Kyle said.

* * *

"Alfred, I already told you you don't have to wait for me to-" Jason cut himself off as he opened his bedroom door and locked eyes on Kyle. He'd made sure not to come until it was too late for Jason to still be asleep, even given his nightly activities, but Jason was still dressed in his pajamas. He wore a pair of fuzzy navy blue pajama pants covered in white stars and a long sleeved Gotham Academy shirt. "Oh. You're not Alfred."

"No, I'm not," Kyle agreed.

"Well then."

Jason shifted, obviously moving to slam the door shut. "Wait! Jason!"

It was enough to keep Jason from following through with the motion. He stopped. "What?"

"Can we talk?" Kyle asked. "Please?"

"Am I going to get to talk?" Jason asked. There was a sharpness in his voice that had Kyle wincing a bit. "Because the last time you wanted to talk to me, you just kinda screamed at me and then left me alone in the middle of the city."

"I know and I am _so_ sorry about that," Kyle said. He'd had a lot of time to think about how shitty that had been. Jason was more than capable of taking care of himself, but that didn't mean that it wasn't terrible of Kyle to leave him alone like he had. "I just- I was hurt because you had misunderstood something I said and you threw that misunderstanding at me like you thought I didn't care about you. I just wanted to have _fun_  and enjoy spending time with you because it was your birthday and I have this big stupid crush on you." Kyle ducked his head, avoiding Jason's eyes. "And then I ran away because I hadn't _meant_  to tell you about my crush and I didn't want to risk that ruining our friendship because you _are_  my best friend and there's no one I want to spend time with other than you. Except maybe my mom when I've been on Oa for too long."

There was a long pause.

"You are an idiot," Jason said. Kyle winced a bit, because he knew just how true it was. "I wasn't- I know _now_  that I was misunderstanding things, but I didn't know that then. Back then I was upset because I felt like you were saying you'd rather hang out with the Titans, who _hate me_  and definitely aren't my friends, instead of with me. So yeah, maybe I thought you didn't care about me, but it wasn't because of anything you did. It was just me and my issues." When Kyle nodded, understanding, Jason continued, "Then we were fighting about it and I didn't even have time to process what you were telling me before you told me you had a crush on me and ran off. And instead of coming back to earth so I could tell you about _my_ big stupid crush on _you_ , you ran off to space and this is the first time I've seen you in _three months._ "

"Yeah...I didn't handle the situation as well as I should have." There was a beat of silence, then Kyle's brain registered something Jason had said. "Wait. You had a crush on me?"

"Yes, you dumbass," Jason said. Despite the harshness of his words, there was a light dusting of pink across his cheeks. "I do."

"Oh." Kyle could feel his own face heating up with a blush. He fidgeted a bit. He knew that things between them weren't back to normal just because he'd apologized, but he wanted to move on from this. That combined with the revelation that Jason liked him had Kyle blurting out, "Do you want to go on a date?"

"What? Now? I'm still in pajamas."

"You can change if you want or we can just go to the movies. No one will notice you wearing pajama pants in the dark."

Jason stared at him for a moment.

Then he let out a puff of laughter. "You're an idiot. Give me a few minutes to get dressed okay?"

"And we'll go on a date after?" Kyle asked, just to double check.

Jason nodded. "Yeah. We'll go on a date after."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1) Hello everyone! How are you all doing?
> 
> 2) This is September-October 2008! Which means the boys went a fair amount of time without talking bc when your emotionally stunted superheroes with the ability to just...leave the planet I imagine that happens a lot. 
> 
> 3) There seemed to be a bit of a mixed response on the confession last chapter, but honestly I ended up liking it. Kyle has a crush on Jason and I think that much is obvious at the point of the confession. 
> 
> 4) The boys reconcile pretty quickly, but I think after three months both of them are just kinda...waiting for apologies and wanting to move on? So once Jason has that apology, he just goes with it because he's probably sick of this entire thing.
> 
> 5) changed the chapter title on an edit. It's now a line from [this](http://lailadermctt-moved.tumblr.com/post/162298193164/part-one-please-answer-all-questions-to-the-best) poem by protostxr on tumblr.


	6. when did you first fall in love?

"Ow," Jason whined.

Kyle spun around to find Jason sitting down on the rink.

He was wearing a pair of form fitting black jeans with a seafoam green tee-shirt and a black leather jacket pulled on over it. There were a pair of bulky white roller skates with dirty orange wheels on his feet. He had his legs stretched out in front of him in a v while his hands were braced behind him.

"You fell again," Kyle said.

"Yeah." Jason moved his hands, reaching them out towards Kyle and flexing his fingers in a grab-y motion. "Help me get back up."

Kyle didn't hesitate to skate closer to Jason and take his hands in his own. Jason's palms were warm. They were calloused and cut, leftovers from injuries he'd sustained during his time as Robin thus far.

As he pulled Jason up, he said, "I'm sorry I chose something that results in injuries when you're bad at it."

"It's okay. I'll pick it up eventually," Jason said, giving a shrug. Then, with a small shy smile on his lips, he said, "I'm too happy about you asking me out in the first place to be upset about falling on my ass a few times."

Kyle felt his face heat up.

He was sure there was an embarrassing bright, red blush dusting his face.

He'd chosen the roller rink for their first date because it was something neither of them had done before. They'd spent a lot of time together over the past year and Kyle had wanted to make sure that when they had their first date it didn't feel like something that they'd done before.

At the beginning of the day, there had been a lot of awkward gesturing and fumbling words. It was like they'd completely forgotten how to interact with each other and how to talk to each other in the wake of their relationship changing. Things had, thankfully, smoothed out a bit once they'd gotten their skates on and moved onto the rink. Things were a little more normal after that. There were still moments when they fumbled a bit, but it was easier to talk and tease.

"I'm glad I did too," Kyle said. He was still holding Jason's hands. He didn't really want to let go. Butterflies flying in his stomach, Kyle said, "Do you want to skate together?"

"We've been skating together."

"No like..." He tightened his grip on Jason's hand. "I thought we could skate like this. Then, if you fall I could stop you."

"Or you could just end up going down with me."

"Yeah, but-" Kyle cut himself off. He felt his face heat, his blush probably darkening. He _really_  liked the way Jason's hand felt in his, though, so he forced himself to speak despite his embarrassment, "I kinda just wanna hold your hand, Jay. Even if it means we both end up on our asses."

"Oh." Jason's face colored a dark red. Kyle wondered if his own blush was the same color. If it was, he didn't think it looked as cute as it did on Jason. "I'd like that too actually..."

"Good." There was a moment where they just seemed to stare at each other with shy, dopey smiles on their faces before Kyle cleared his throat. He gave Jason's hand a light tug, "Come on. Maybe if we skate together, you'll make it around without falling."

"I'm not that bad!" Jason objected. With their hands locked, Jason was skating right beside Kyle instead of slightly behind him like he had been. Kyle was careful to keep his pace a little slow. He was essentially just pulling Jason along, but he didn't want to go to fast and have Jason lose his balance. "I've definitely made it around at least once."

"Are you sure about that?"

Jason was quiet for a moment before saying, "Okay, no, but-"

* * *

For the first few weeks of their relationship, things were a little awkward.

They both wanted to be with each other, but they had gotten used to being with each other in a different way. Their friendship had been a little more than just a friendship for a while, their crushes _had_  changed things even if neither of them had had any intention of acting on them originally, but it hadn't been a relationship like it was now.  Their friendship could have survived anything, but their relationship was so new that they couldn't be sure it was the same way. There was more pressure to do the right thing.

On top of that, there was the fact that neither of them had any experience with dating.

Kyle had a few playground girlfriends when he was little, but he'd gotten his ring when he was only fourteen. There had suddenly been entire galaxies that were relying on him for protection. It hadn't left him much time for dating. After the other Lanterns were back, there was time for it but it had just never happened. Then he'd met Jason and the idea of dating, and therefore spending less time with Jason, hadn't seemed important.

Jason hadn't even had the little bit of experience Kyle had. As a child, he'd been too busy taking care of his mother and trying to survive to care about which neighborhood girls were batting their eyes at him. There'd been crushes, of course, but he'd never passed a note asking a girl to check yes or no. Some of the girls at Gotham Academy looked at him, Kyle hadn't really been surprised the first time Jason had mentioned it because Jason was kinda of a heartthrob with those baby blues and Jason's arms noticeable from a mile away, but the kids at Gotham Academy saw Jason as different and for that reason he had never gotten anything more than glances.

Kyle hated that Jason was alone at school, but there was a tiny part of him that was happy that no one had noticed how amazing Jason was. He didn't know if he'd be able to compete with the beautiful, rich teens Jason went to school with.

Their lack of experience and the difficulty of adjusting to a different type of relationship made their first few dates a little awkward, but as time went on things smoothed out.

It got easier to spend time with each other without second guessing what they were doing.

They went to a Gotham Blades game together. Bruce had been reluctant to let them go to a hockey game alone given how rowdy fans could get, but Jason had argued that it wasn't really a _date_  if Bruce or Alfred tagged along. Kyle didn't really mind regardless as long as Jason was there, but in the end Jason and Bruce found a compromise. Bruce got the two of them seats in the lower bowl, used his own suite instead of sitting with them, and allowed Kyle to fly the two of them to the stadium instead of making them ride with him. When Kyle showed up to pick Jason up the day of the game, he found Jason completely decked out from head to toe. He had a jersey, face paint, a little winter hat with a pom-pom. The whole thing was unfairly cute. Kyle spent the evening holding Jason's hand, not caring at all when Jason jumped to his feet to celebrate a goal and lifted Kyle's hand too quickly because he hadn't thought to let go.

One day, when the two of them were in LA near Kyle's house instead of Gotham, they went to a dollar store and bought a bunch of cheap art supplies. They spent their evening sitting on the beach with their shoulders touching as they drew portraits of what they were looking at. Jason's wasn't bad, but he wasn't the artist Kyle was and it showed. When Jason pouted about being so clearly out-done, Kyle bought him hot chocolate and a sno-cone. Jason refused to let Kyle have any of his hot chocolate, but he shared the sno-cone with him, occasionally holding his spoon out for Kyle to take what was on it. When he was getting ready to go back to Gotham, Jason insisted that Kyle let him keep his painting and Kyle had agreed because he'd always liked giving his paintings to people that he loved.

Once they made plans to go ice skating, something they'd done together before and enjoyed, but the temperature had dropped so sharply that Alfred had told Kyle as soon as he stepped inside Wayne Manor that he wasn't going to allow either of them outside for such a long time in weather that bad. Instead the two of them ended up spending their evening in the kitchen baking. At the end, there was three trays of cookies and a giant gingerbread house covered in far too much icing. There was laughter in Alfred's voice when he scolded them for how much of a mess they made. Afterwards, they were shooed from the kitchen. They spent that evening watching the third Santa Clause movie. It was warm and comfortable. Kyle couldn't figure out if that was because of the soft, fuzzy blanket Jason had pulled over the two of them or it if was from the heat radiating off Jason where their thighs and shoulders touched.

Things were fun and easy in the same way that they had been before they'd started dating.

Kyle found himself understanding the things he'd heard people say about how great it was to be in a relationship with their best friend.

Things with Jason were good, great even, and he couldn't think of anyone he wanted to be with more than he wanted to be with Jason.

* * *

"Did I miss it?" Jason asked as he slipped back into the living room, his hands wrapped around a fresh mug of hot chocolate.

It was New Years Eve. Kyle had been on Earth longer than usual since it was the holiday season, but he was headed back to Oa soon. He had wanted to spend a little more time with Jason before he left so the two of them were watching the Time Square ball drop together. 

"No," Kyle said, shaking his head. As Jason approached the couch, Kyle kicked up the end of the blanket so Jason could grab it and slip under it with him. Kyle had his legs up on the couch, swung to the side as he leaned against the arm of the couch, so Jason squeezed into the space behind Kyle's knees and leaned against Kyle's side. He liked the warm, heavy weight of Jason against him. "That took you longer than I thought it would."

"Bruce was in there grabbing more coffee," Jason said. "He made me sit in there and listen to the rules again."

It was Kyle's first time staying over since they'd become dating and the change in their relationship meant a whole new set of rules.

The biggest one was that they weren't allowed to sleep in the same room anymore. Alfred had made up one of the guest rooms for Kyle and he was supposed to sleep there instead of in Jason's room like he usually did. Kyle thought it was a little ridiculous. He knew they were teenage boys, but Jason was only fourteen. There were a lot of things that Kyle thought about when it came to Jason, but there wasn't anything that he'd actually do until Jason was older, until Jason was ready. 

"That explains it," Kyle said. Bruce had been taking enforcement of their new restrictions very seriously, so he wasn't surprised that Jason had gotten a mini-lecture. Focusing on the TV, Kyle said, "One minute."

"Really? I didn't think I'd been gone _that_ long."

"You were gone for like ten minutes."

Jason groaned, throwing his head back. "I can't believe he lectured me for ten minutes about us not sharing a bedroom."

Kyle gave a little hum. He agreed that Bruce was being ridiculous, but he understood at the same time. His mother probably would have given him a shorter version of the same speech if they were at his place. He imagined part of the reason it'd taken so long was because Jason had started arguing with Bruce about it.

Instead of saying anything about that, Kyle nudged Jason with his elbow. "It's starting."

As the crowd of people gathered at Time Square started counting, so did they.

"Ten,

nine,

eight,

seven,

six,

five,

four,

three,

two,

one."

Kyle turned towards Jason to wish him a happy New Year, but before he could get the words out Jason had leaned forward and slotted their lips together.

The kiss was quick, just a soft peck, and a little uncoordinated, Jason had caught him a little too off guard for the angle of it to be very good, but it was enough for Kyle to freeze, caught off guard by the action.

Jason leaned away from Kyle. His face was a hot, fire engine red and there was a nervousness in his eyes.

"That's not fair," Kyle said. Before Jason could misinterpret his words, he continued, "I wasn't expecting that. We have to do it again."

Kyle had thought about kissing Jason far too many times for their first kiss to be something that he lost in his shock about it.

They had to do it again so that he could remember it better.

Jason seemed surprised for a moment, but then his shyness seemed to melt away. A smile as bright as the sun settled over his lips. "Okay."

This time it was Kyle who leaned in first.

* * *

The kissing kept happening.

When they saw each other for the first time after Kyle got back on planet, Jason would pull away from their usual hug to give Kyle a quick kiss. When they met up for a date, Kyle would lean in to press a kiss against Jason's lips. Both of them were passionate people, so they took to using kisses to shush the other one for a moment. Usually, Jason responded by returning Kyle's kiss with a second one and then rambling on as if it had never happened. It didn't bother Kyle as long as Jason took a second to breathe and let Kyle wrap his mind around whatever he was talking about. When Jason did it to Kyle, he would laugh a little and reach for Jason's hand if they weren't already holding hands. He'd switch the subject, taking the time to draw Jason into an actual conversation instead of just rambling at him. Their approaches were different, but it worked for each of them and neither of them ever felt bad afterwards.

The kisses weren't limited to lips either. If Kyle came back to the planet and found Jason was particularly bruised from his nights as Robin, he would brush kisses against Jason's split knuckles or the underside of Jason's occasional black eye. Jason was catching up to Kyle's height quickly, Kyle had been around five and half feet since they'd first met but Jason had had a recent growth spurt that brought him up near him, and he liked to take advantage of it by pressing kisses to places he couldn't reach before. If they were walking together and Kyle said something that rose warm, fond amusement in him, then Jason would sling his arm around Kyle's shoulders, pulling him down the little bit necessary for Jason to reach his temple and press a kiss there. Sometimes if Kyle said something particularly ridiculous or particularly sappy or something that just infuriated Jason so much that he needed Kyle to shut up, Jason would put his hands on either side of Kyle's face and reel him in to press a kiss against Kyle's forehead.

It never went beyond pecks, but Kyle was more than okay with that. He liked the addition of the kisses to their relationship regardless of what kinds of kisses they were.

Kissing Jason, or being kissed by Jason, always made his chest warm with affection. The first few times they'd done it, his lips seemed to tingle for the entire day afterwards. It was nice and fantastic and amazing.

Before Kyle knew it, two months had passed since their first date and it was Valentines Day.

Kyle was off world for the actual day, but he tried to make up for it when he got back.

After asking at least five times to make sure it was okay with Alfred, Kyle spent the morning he got back from Oa in the kitchen with the older man learning how to make Jason's favorite blueberry and chocolate chip pancakes. By the time he finally made a few that Alfred deemed edible, Jason had already woken up and come downstairs looking for food. He'd been surprised to see Kyle in the manor, but after the initial shock wore off a bright smile had fallen over his face and he'd happily leaned in for a kiss.

After breakfast, while Jason was eating Alfred had been kind enough to make Kyle a few pancakes as well even though Kyle had insisted he was fine with eating some of his less terrible failures, the two of them sat around the house for the afternoon. They watched a movie, neither of them had seen the Clone Wars movie since things had been awkward between them when it came out and it has slipped from their minds, and played a couple games of Scrabble, Jason was giant cheater so Kyle usually refused to play with him.

When it got dark outside, they bundled up and Kyle flew the two of them to a nearby ice rink for the ice skating date that they'd had to cancel early last month. Despite it no longer being Valentines day, the rink was still covered in fairy lights that gave it a soft glow and there was a radio somewhere that was playing soft, pop songs that all seemed to be vaguely romantic in their nature. It was all a little cheesy, but Jason's eyes seemed to sparkle under the lights and when he laughed at the entire thing Kyle felt a little bit like he'd been staring at the sun for too long. They spent the night skating until their cheeks and noses were bright cherry red from the cold. Their palms were warm from having spent the entire night pressed together.

When Kyle dropped Jason back off at Wayne Manor, just barely before Jason's curfew, Jason had dropped a kiss against his lips and thanked him for such a great night and swore that he was going to come up with something just as amazing to do for Kyle the next year. Kyle had tried to argue, but Jason had just kissed him again before turning around to dart into the house before he ended up banned from patrol for missing curfew.

Kyle still felt a little bad that he'd been off planet on Valentines Day, but he thought that it'd been a really amazing day even if it had been a little late.

* * *

Kyle peeked his head into the watchtower's library, scanning the room until he found who he had been looking for.

Jason was sitting in his favorite chair, a large lounger that had practically dwarfed Jason when he was thirteen and first visited the tower but which now seemed to fit Jason perfectly, with a book in his hand. He was wearing a pair of black sweatpants and a loose dark red hoodie. His hair looked a little damp and like someone had recently run their hands through it. It was pretty early in the day, but looking at Jason it was clear that he had probably been here for a while. He and Bruce had probably come to the tower straight from their patrol.

Kyle wondered what could've drawn them up in such a hurry that Bruce hadn't thought to drop Jason off at home so he could sleep for a few hours. He'd just been in the central room with John, Barry, Clark, and a bunch of others but it hadn't seemed like any of them were in a particular hurry. If something had been wrong, Kyle figured Clark would have done a bit more than smile and point him towards Jason.

"Hey," Jason said, drawing Kyle out of his thoughts.

"Hey," Kyle said, a smile coming over his lips. He stepped fully into the room, crossing so he could reach Jason. "I didn't expect to see you until later."

"We found something on patrol that B couldn't find a match for in our database. He thinks might be space-y," Jason told him. "We came up here for him to talk to some of the others."

Kyle hummed a bit. "Should I go find him?"

"You came down with John right?" Kyle nodded. "He'll ask John for help."

"Good thing I didn't bring Hal with me," Kyle said, laughing a bit. Jason had already marked his place in his book, setting it aside, so when Kyle reached him he put his palms down on the arms of the chair and leaned into Jason's space. He requested, "Kiss?"

"Kiss," Jason agreed.

Jason lifted up a bit to press their lips together. 

When he pulled away after a moment, Kyle said, "Come to the cafeteria with me? We can get breakfast together before I go see my mom."

"I'm supposed to be waiting for B," Jason said.

"John was still with Clark and a bunch of the others last I saw him," Kyle said. He didn't have a problem pushing since Jason hadn't really said it in a way that made Kyle believe that Jason was at all concerned with following Bruce's orders. Jason was, honestly, very rarely concerned with following Bruce's orders. "We have plenty of time to get something to eat before they finish. And even if we don't, I don't think Bruce is going to object to you getting breakfast."

"Okay," Jason said, easy to convince in that way that he always was when he'd only been arguing about something for the sake of at least looking like he was going to do what Bruce told him to. He reached up, putting his hands on Kyle's chest and pushing just a bit. "Move so I can get up."

Kyle tilted his head down to press a kiss against one of Jason's wrists then took a step back. "There's usually scrambled eggs and sausage here, right? A breakfast burrito sounds really good."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1) Hi everyone! I hope you enjoyed this chapter! 
> 
> 2 This chapter covered November 2008 - March 2009. Just so you guys have an idea of where we are in the timeline here, Jason will die in April of 2010
> 
> 3) I'm worried Kyle comes off a little too young in this chapter, but honestly even though he's sixteen he hasn't had a lot of time to date what with saving the intergalactic world. 
> 
> 4) It didn't end up making it into this chapter, but Bruce's reaction to seeing the boys kiss each other whenever the first time he caught them was was probably v suspicious. He likes Kyle, but Jason is fourteen and no matter what Jason might have saw or done on the streets Bruce won't let him have to do those things again before he's old enough. He probably also wants Jason to stay young a little while since Dick has just moved out and he's definitely got at least a little bit of empty nest syndrome going on. Luckily, after a few times he realizes that their only giving each other quick pecks and probably starts finding it a little sweet. 
> 
> 5) Kyle is a SUPER SAPPY boyfriend, but honestly we all know that Kyle is the biggest romantic. 
> 
> 6) Chapter title from Saiber's Stardust and Sheets


	7. i'm looking at you and my heart loves the view

When Kyle stepped into the watchtower's main room, having just arrived back from Oa with John, he was pleasantly surprised to find Bruce was in the room with a few other league members.

He had been planning on texting Jason to let him know that he was back on Earth, but he hadn't anticipated being able to actually see Jason for another two or three days. If Bruce was around the tower, though, then Jason probably was too. Kyle had been planning on heading right to his mother's once he made sure everything was okay at the tower, but it wasn't like she was expecting him at a certain time. He could just stay at the tower with Jason until it was time for him to head back to Gotham.

Kyle was in the middle of trying to figure out where Jason would be at this time, the library was always Jason's first choice hideout but there were quite a few people in the central room right now which meant it was possible that Jason was somewhere where people were less likely to interrupt him, when Bruce said, "Jason isn't here, Kyle."

"What?" Kyle had been following John across the room as he thought, but he hadn't been paying attention. Now that he'd been snapped out of his own head, however, he found that John had taken them over to the area where Bruce was. Bruce had previously been speaking to J'onn and Zatanna, but the two of them had drifted away and Bruce was focused on John and Kyle.

"I didn't bring Jason up to the watchtower with me," Bruce said. There was a small smile on his lips, a trace of amusement slipping through his voice. "He has a test tomorrow so he had to stay behind to study."

"Oh." Kyle felt a small flash of disappointment. He knew that he'd gotten too excited without any indication that Jason was there. There were plenty of times when Bruce came to the tower without Jason, leaving the teenager behind so that he could sleep or study or something else, but Kyle had missed Jason while he was on Oa. The prospective of getting to see him again was too exciting to have ignored. "Okay."

"You are welcome to come to Gotham anytime this weekend, though," Bruce told him. "I'm sure seeing you would make Jason feel a lot better about not getting to patrol tonight."

"I was already planning on seeing if Jason wanted to go out this weekend," Kyle admitted. "I was going to spend today and tomorrow with my mom then see if Jason wanted to do something."

"I'm almost positive you'll get a yes," Bruce said, the amusement in his voice growing even more evident. When he spoke again there was a sort of affection that had entered his voice, "Spending time with you makes Jason very happy, Kyle."

Kyle's face flushed. He was happy to hear that he made Jason happy because he _wanted_  to make Jason happy, but there was something about being that by Jason's father that Kyle found incredibly flustering.

Despite his embarrassment, he managed to say, "Jason makes me happy too."

"That's good." Bruce's smile went a little sharp at the edges. "Let's try to keep everyone happy then, yes?"

Kyle didn't have an opportunity to say anything else before Bruce turned and walked away, making his way over to the area where his previous conversation partners had drifted.

Kyle was glad for that because that simple change in Bruce's smile combined with those words had a sharp stab of fear rushing up Kyle's spine.

Bruce was only human, but he fought next to the strongest aliens and metas on the planet. He managed not only to hold his own, but to  _beat_  them in some sparring sessions.

Bruce was only human, but he was infinitely more terrifying than Clark or Diana.

John spoke up. Instead of comforting Kyle, he said, "Hal is going to be so upset that he missed this."

* * *

"Stop," Jason said, slapping Kyle's outstretched hand away from the small basket he was carrying. It was filled with an assortment of small berries along with a few larger strawberries. "They're mine."

"I bought them," Kyle argued.

"You bought them for _me._ Therefore, they are mine and I don't have to share them if I don't want to."

"You are such a brat," Kyle said, though the words came out a little too affectionate to be considered an insult.

The two of them were at one of the farmer's markets in Gotham. Alfred had been intending to come to the market himself in order to pick a few things for the coming week, but Jason was eager to get out of the house now that spring had set in properly. When Kyle had come by, eager to see Jason but with no solid plan for where to go on their date, Jason had volunteered the two of them to go get what Alfred needed. Instead of arguing like he normally would, Alfred had simply written them up a list and sent them off on their way. Privately, Kyle thought that Alfred was just as happy that spring had come as Jason was. The only thing worse than being a cooped up teenage boy was being the person who had to deal with that teenage boy.

"Name calling isn't very nice," Jason said. He reached into the basket himself, grabbing one of the blackberries out of it and popping it into his mouth.

"Refusing to let me have any of the berries I paid for isn't very nice," Kyle answered. The booth that they'd gotten the berries from had been near the entrance they'd come in. They'd looked so delicious on the display that Jason had practically been salivating the moment he'd laid his eyes on them. Jason could've bought them himself, Alfred had added some extra when he handed Jason the shopping money, but Kyle had been happy to indulge him. The detour meant that they hadn't gotten around to picking up any of the groceries Alfred had asked for yet, so instead of waiting for Jason's response, Kyle asked, "What does Alfred need us to get?"

"Let me check," Jason said. He brought his fingers up to his lips, licking at the juice stains there. Afterwards he wiped his fingers against his pants before pulling the list that Alfred had given them out of his pocket. "Uhh so....asparagus, beets, carrots..."

As Jason focused on the list, Kyle took the opportunity to reach for the basket of berries again.

Getting his fingers around one of the strawberry stems, he gave it a sharp tug to pull it out of the box.

"Yes!" he cheered triumphantly.

Jason looked away from the list, glancing over at Kyle. "Oh! You sneaky piece of-"

Kyle cut him off, leaning forward to press his lips against Jason's before he could finish. He was careful to hold the strawberry behind him so that Jason couldn't use the opportunity to get it from his hands. When he pulled away from the kiss, he flashed Jason a bright smile. "Thanks for the strawberry, Jaybird."

Jason made a face at him. "You are the worst."

Kyle ignored him, simply smiling as he took a bite out of the stolen strawberry.

* * *

April was warm in the beginning, but Gotham's penchant for terrible weather reared it's head before the end of the month.

Kyle and Jason met up at the tower the next time Kyle was on earth. They were planning on going to Gotham later, but for a while they were content to curl up together in Jason's favorite lounger in the watchtower's library. Jason spent most of the time complaining about how Gotham had been raining for days, how the streets were practically flooded, how he felt like he hadn't been completely dry in _ages._  Kyle wasn't particularly interested in Gotham's weather, but it had been a long two weeks in space. Kyle was feeling exhausted, beaten down, and in a little bit of pain from some wounds that hadn't completely healed yet. He was happy to just rest his head on Jason's shoulder and listen to his boyfriend ramble.

When they did make it to Gotham, the weather that Jason had been complaining about kept them from leaving the manor. Instead the two of them went on a mission to gather blankets and pillows from around the house, something which Alfred had chided them for initially but let them do with minimal sighing once they explained, and turned the Wayne's den into a giant blanket fort. They spent the rest of the evening in the fort, curled up together while they watched old DVDs.

They must have fallen asleep at some point because Kyle woke up the next morning with Jason draped across him and their legs tangled together so hopelessly that Kyle wouldn't have been able to get free even if he wasn't pinned under Jason's weight. Despite how strict Bruce had been thus far about them not sleeping in the same room, it was clear that either he or Alfred had come into the fort because someone had closed the laptop at some point. Kyle wasn't sure exactly what it meant that they'd seen the two of them sleeping and decided it was alright, but he thought it _might_  have meant that they trusted the two of them a little more.

The next time Kyle was in Gotham, April had given way to May and the rainy weather had swept out with it.

They wanted to take advantage of the good weather, so they ended up at a baseball field near Jason's high school. Kyle had a bit more muscle than most boys his age did since there was more to fighting as a Lantern than just constructs and a bit more muscle than Jason due to their age difference, but Jason relied on his body a lot more as Robin and was a lot more familiar with the sport. It wasn't very long before the difference in their level of skill became obvious. Since it was just the two of them, they weren't really keeping score, but Kyle knew that if they had been than Jason's score would have been double or triple his own. At one point Jason sent the ball flying and Kyle was so sick of running after it, that he just tackled Jason into the dirt instead. Jason was offended for a moment, but then Kyle declared Jason the winner and started showering him in kisses. Jason's complaints quickly gave way to laughter as Kyle covered his cheeks and nose in pecks. He was kicking his legs a bit and telling Kyle to let him up, but between his amusement and the way Jason's fingers were digging into his hips Kyle figured he didn't actually mind all that much.

Afterwards they went to the ice cream parlor. Kyle paid for most things that they did because he was older and had an income that wasn't just an allowance, especially considering he knew how uncomfortable Jason was with that allowance, but Jason insisted on buying their ice cream. Kyle got a bowl with two scoops of maple walnut while Jason got a cone with a scoop of green tea and a scoop of strawberry. Afterwards they found a small table to sit at, spending the rest of the afternoon talking and laughing together.

When Kyle went back to LA after taking Jason back to the manor, his mother took one look at him and developed a soft, knowing smile. She made it clear that if his relationship with Jason was making him that happy, then he needed to bring Jason by the next time he was on Earth so that she could meet him properly and get to know him.

The thought of refusing never occurred to Kyle. Not just because he would never argue with his mom about something like that, but also because he wanted his mom and Jason to know each other. They were both incredibly important to him. He didn't want to keep those parts of his life separate.

* * *

"Mom," Kyle called out as he pushed open the front door. One of his hands held Jason's, pulling the younger boy into the house with him. He knew the grip was also helping Jason calm down. Jason had been nervous since Kyle first told him that his mother wanted to meet him, despite Kyle's insistence that he had nothing to worry about because she was going to love him. "I'm home."

"I'm in the kitchen!" his mother answered.

Kyle gave Jason's hand a tight squeeze, trying to provide his boyfriend with just a little extra confidence, before making his way towards the kitchen.

Expecting that if his mother was in the kitchen she was probably doing something and he'd need to get her attention, he stepped into the room calling out, "Mom-" However, he cut himself off the second he got a proper look around the room.

His mother was standing at the kitchen counter stirring a pitcher of what looked to Kyle like lemonade. That wasn't unusual since it was a hot summer day. The fact that his mother wasn't alone was what caught Kyle off-guard. Hal Jordan was leaning backwards against the counter to Kyle's mother's right, a flirty grin on his face as he leaned a little closer to her. John and Guy were both sitting at the kitchen table. There was a tray in the center of the table with what looked like a strawberry cheesecake

"Why are you all here?" Kyle demanded. He didn't bother getting worried about the sudden visitors because he knew they would have just tracked him down to Gotham if something was wrong. If, for whatever reason, they did decide to just wait for him to get back to his house when there was some sort of intergalactic crisis happening than Hal wouldn't be sitting in his kitchen flirting with his mother.

Guy had taken a chair that put his back to Kyle, but now he looked over his shoulder. There was a giant, shit-eating grin on his face as he said. "Hey! You're finally here!"

"Well, when you told us your mom was meeting your boyfriend this weekend," John said, his interjection keeping Kyle from acting on the urge to wipe the grin off Guy's face, "we thought it was only fair that we come to meet him too."

"You've met him," Kyle said. "You and Hal took the two of us on an entire vacation for my birthday!"

"Yeah," Hal spoke up. He drew his next words out, his tone mocking, "But he wasn't your boyfriend then."

"Am I even allowed to be here?" Jason wondered. Kyle glanced behind him, looking at Jason instead of the ambush taking place in front of him. The nerves seemed to have seeped out of Jason, being replaced instead by a soft considering look. "I don't know if I'm allowed to interact with Hal Jordan without Bruce knowing about it."

"Hey, now," Hal objected, a frown setting on his face. Kyle felt a sick sort of pleasure at that, glad that Hal wasn't mocking him or flirting with his mother any longer. "He doesn't hate me that much."

Kyle let out a loud bark of laughter while Jason let out an amused huff behind him.

The smile that had settled on John's lips widened.

It was Guy who choked out between chuckles, "Who are you kidding, Hal? Bruce _hates_ you."

"Boys, that's not very nice." The interjection from Kyle's mother had all of them shutting their mouths. She was afforded the utmost respect by all of Earth's Lanterns, not just her son. It took strength to raise a child all alone and each of them respected her greatly for that. They would never spit on that by disrespecting her at all, much less in her own house. She took the spoon she'd been using to stir the lemonade with and took it out of the pitcher. Once it'd been set to the side, she turned around to face Kyle and Jason. She gave Kyle a small smile, but then her gaze slipped to Jason behind him. "Hello. You must be Jason."

"Yes," Jason said, sounding like all of the nervousness that he'd been feeling previously had returned all at once. "It's nice to meet you, Mrs. Rayner."

"Maura is fine," she insisted.

"Maura," Jason said, sounding a little apprehensive. Kyle thought that was probably because Alfred had drilled manners into his head so firmly that it felt uncomfortable to refer to a grown woman so casually. Jason had a small container of cookies in the hand that Kyle wasn't holding and Kyle heard him moving them now. "Um... I brought cookies with me as a gift for you. My grandfather and I made them together last night."

"Oh, how sweet," she said. "Why don't you and Kyle come take a seat at the table? I've made some lemonade and cheesecake for us too. We can snack while we get to know each other."

As they made their way across the room to the table, a smile settled on Kyle's face.

He was still a little angry about the ambush, but it felt nice to have the people that he loved gathered like this.

* * *

"Ugh," Jason groaned. "I think your mom is trying to kill me."

The two of them were sitting on the porch swing in front of the house. They'd spent several hours inside the house with Kyle's mother and the other Earth Lanterns, but the two of them had escaped outside so they could take a break and spend sometime alone. Kyle was sitting to the side of the swing while Jason laid down across it with his head in Kyle's lap. Jason had his eyes closed, one hand resting on his stomach.

Kyle ran his fingers through Jason's hair, laughing softly. "She's not trying to kill you. She loves you."

"She is," Jason said. "She's fattening me up so she can shove me in the oven and eat me in order to keep me away from her son."

"Babe, please. You just ate three pieces of her cheesecake. She's too good of a cook to stoop as low as cannibalism."

"Hannibal Lecter."

Kyle tugged lightly on Jason's hair, just enough for Jason to react to the pain. Jason peeked one eye open, peering up at Kyle. "Don't compare my mom to Hannibal Lecter. I'd never compare Alfred to Hannibal Lecter."

"I wouldn't be offended if you did," Jason said. "Because I am almost certain that Bruce is going to drive Alfred to something terrible some day."

" _You_  are going to drive Alfred to do something terrible."

"I would never. I am a perfect angel. I have never caused Alfred a single problem in my life."

Kyle didn't bother responding with anything other than laughter.

Jason huffed a little bit as though he was offended by Kyle's laughter, but a moment later a smile settled over his lips.

A comfortable silence settled after Kyle's laughter died down. Jason closed his eyes again and Kyle went back to running his hands through Jason's hair.

After a moment, it was broken by Jason asking, his voice soft and uncertain, "Do you really think she likes me?"

"She does," Kyle assured. He stopped running his hands through Jason's hair in favor of scratching a bit at Jason's scalp, something which he knew Jason found soothing. "She likes you so much that she might be in there plotting how to steal you away from Bruce."

"She definitely doesn't like me that much," Jason said.

Kyle thought about the look on his mother's face when they'd been inside, how she'd nudged Jason through the conversation at the beginning but eventually ended up just letting him ramble with the same fond smile that she got when Kyle started ranting about art despite not understanding what he was saying. Kyle thought about the way she'd kept pushing more cheesecake onto Jason, the same way that Alfred tended to do when he noticed Jason hesitating to take more food.

He didn't bother telling Jason that. He knew that Jason didn't realize how amazing he was or how that drew people in so easily. There was _no way_ for him to realize that when he was largely surrounded by people who wouldn't give him the time of day long enough to realize how amazing he was.

Instead, he just hummed and said, "Trust me, she likes you Jaybird."

"I hope you're right," Jason said.

"Why do you care so much?" Kyle asked. He cared what Bruce thought about him, but it had never occurred to him to be afraid of Bruce disliking him the way Jason seemed to be of Kyle's mom disliking him.

"She's your mom. You love her and she's the most important person in your life. I don't want to effect that at all."

Touched by Jason's consideration towards his relationship with his mother, Kyle leaned down so he could press his lips against Jason's in a quick kiss.

When he drew back, he found that Jason had opened his eyes and was looking up at him.

"What was that for?" Jason asked.

"Nothing." He pressed a kiss to Jason's forehead as well before pulling away completely, settling back against the seat. "I just love you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1) Hi everyone! I hope you enjoyed this chapter! 
> 
> 2 This chapter covered April - June 2009
> 
> 3) I wrote the last chapter in the style of my chapters for Cats, Bats, Kittens, and Hatchlings so that I could write a bit more interlude-wise and give more details about their relationship, but this one goes back to what I usually write for this fic. 
> 
> 4) This is another chapter of just...happy, soft boys dating and enjoying each other's company. 
> 
> 5) The lanterns were intended to be in the first section, but Bruce called to me. They weren't intended to be in the fourth section, but it ended up that way. But something about that fourth section seems messy to me and I can't quite pick out what? Maybe too much jumping around? Let me know how you felt about it!!
> 
> 6) did i use a high school musical quote for the chapter title? Absolutely.


	8. if you'll be my star, i'll be your sky

Kyle had his head bent down as he scrolled through his text messages.

Usually he didn't get very many messages when he was on Oa, just the occasional text from his old school friends and the occasional comment from Jason or his mother on what was going on while he was gone. This time, however, Jason had read a book while Kyle was gone that he'd gotten so excited about that he'd left Kyle a multitude of texts depicting his every thought while reading it.

Kyle was so busy reading Jason's messages, not really understanding the context but enjoying the excitement and pure Jason-ness that each message held, that he didn't notice anyone else was in the hallway until he bumped into someone.

"Whoa!" Hands came up, resting on Kyle's shoulders and steadying him before he could fall. "Watch where you're going, Kyle."

"Sorry, sorry," Kyle said. When the hands on his shoulders let go, he stepped back and looked up to see who he had run into. "Oh. Hey, Wally."

"Hey," Wally said, flashing Kyle a wide smile. Dick was standing next to Wally, his hands in his pockets and a casual smile on his lips that made it obvious that the two of them hadn't run into Bruce. Kyle wondered if that meant Bruce and Jason weren't around or if it just meant that they were in a different part of the tower. "You just get back to earth?"

"Yes," Kyle said. "The Titans were off-world when I left, right?"

"Yeah, but we got back a week ago."

"What are you doing here then?" 

The Titans tended to avoid the watchtower. Aside from Dick's problems with Bruce, the Teen Titans were made of people that were desperately trying to prove they could protect the world without their guardians help. Coming around to ask for anything was counterintuitive to what they were trying to achieve.

"I'm holding onto Uncle Barry's birthday present for Aunt Iris so that there's no chance of her finding it. Her birthday was last week, but the two of them are taking a trip for it next weekend and he wants to give it to her then," Wally said. He added, "The watchtower seemed like the best place for him to give it to me since there's no risk of anyone up here telling her about it."

"Oh, okay. You guys are headed out then?"

"Yeah. We're going to meet the others for lunch. You wanna come with?"

Kyle hesitated for a second before saying, "I would, but I just got back and I was going to see if Jason wanted to do something."

"You two are dating now, aren't you?" Dick said, speaking up for the first time.

"Yeah." His relationship with Jason was hardly a secret, but it was still a little surprising to find out that Dick knew about it. He wondered if he had heard from someone in the league or if he'd heard from Alfred. "For about eight months now."

Wally let out a low whistle. "I knew you guys were together, but I hadn't realized it had been that long."

"Mm... Yeah." Thinking about it had a small, affectionate smile settling over Kyle's lips.

There was a quiet moment between the group of them before Dick spoke again, "You should invite Jason to come with us."

"Really?" Kyle said, surprise bursting inside of him. He glanced over at Wally, finding that while he looked vaguely surprised he didn't look nearly as shocked as Kyle was. He wondered if Wally had been helping Dick work through his feelings about Bruce and Jason.

"Yeah," Dick agreed, nodding a bit. He paused for a moment, obviously deliberating on what to say next. "I've been working with Bruce and Jason a little bit recently. Things with Bruce are still pretty awkward, but Jason's a good kid and I haven't really been fair to him. I want to start getting to know him. I figure that inviting him out with the rest of us might be a good place to start since it won't be so awkward." There was another small pause before Dick gave Kyle a small grin and added, "Of course, you can say no if you're that eager to go on a date with him. We can all meet up a different day."

Kyle felt his face heat up. He wasn't necessarily embarrassed about the fact that he genuinely _was_ eager to spend time with Jason, but there was something embarrassing about having it stated so plainly like that. 

He said, "Jason and I didn't have any concrete plans, but I'll call him and let you know what he says."

"Cool," Dick said. "We're gonna head out to meet up with the others. It'll probably be another half or so before we finish arguing about where we're going to eat, so let us know before then if you guys can make it, yeah?"

"Will do."

* * *

"Queen let you have a Suzuki?"

"No," Roy answered. Kyle watched as Roy met Jason's incredulous look with a wide grin. " _Dinah_  told me I could have a Suzuki and Oliver just had to suck it up."

"I'm so jealous," Jason said, letting out a heavy sigh. He had been leaning forward as he spoke to Roy, but now he leaned back in his chair. Across the table, Kyle saw Garth reach for his drink and cover his smile at Jason's dramatics by taking a drink. "B doesn't even let me finish asking before he shuts me down!

"You aren't even fifteen yet," Dick pointed out, "and Jersey law says you can't go for a license until your seventeen."

"So? B lets me drive the batmobile sometimes."

"You have a learners permit that makes it legal for you to drive a car," Kyle pointed out.

"I really don't think the batmobile was what they had in mind when they gave him that permit," Donna said.

The group of them were sitting in one of the Titans' favorite pizza places. Kyle hadn't been surprised when he told Dick that Jason had agreed to come to lunch with them and Dick had replied by telling him they were here. The Titans seemed to live off a steady diet of pizza and Chinese food.

The conversation had been a little awkward when Kyle and Jason had first arrived. Kyle was friendly with the Titans, but Jason's relationships with the Titans was just a little antagonistic. The most noticeable exception being Donna who Jason adored and who adored Jason back. Despite Kyle's friendships with them, the Titans previous attitudes towards Jason had put Kyle on edge enough that he couldn't mediate between his boyfriend and the group.

Eventually, though, Donna and Wally had managed to use their sunshine personalities and fantastic people skills to draw the entire group together and conversation was flowing freely.

"I learned on the batmobile," Dick said.

"You're really just proving that children should not be learning how to drive on the batmobile," Donna said.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"B says you're a terrifying driver," Jason said.

Dick frowned, but before he could say anything Wally let out a loud laugh. "He is! Dick always drives like we're in some sort of high speed chase. I'm not entirely sure I could win a race against a car Dick was driving."

"I do not!"

"You do!" Roy argued. "It's like you think if you go fast enough the car will just lift off the ground and start flying."

"Jason doesn't usually drive that quickly," Kyle said. He reached forward to grab another slice of pizza from the serving trays in front of them. They'd polished off most of the pizzas they'd ordered, which was saying something since they'd ordered seven of them, but there were still a few pieces of the cheese pizza. "But he has serious road rage."

"I don't have road rage," Jason argued. "People in Gotham are just shitty drivers and they're putting children in danger with their utter stupidity."

"Yeah, he's lying," Kyle said. He took a bite of the pizza slice he'd grabbed before saying, "Usually I just fly us to our dates, but Jason wants to practice so Alfred's been riding over with us and then taking the car after we're dropped off. Last time I was in town we were going to the Aquarium and Alfred made Jason pull over before we got downtown because he was genuinely concerned Jason was going to cause an accident if he drove downtown."

"That doesn't prove anything," Dick said before anyone could comment. "No one in downtown Gotham knows how to drive. They're all idiots."

"Exactly!' Jason exclaimed. "That's what I'm saying!"

* * *

The group of them spent hours sitting in the pizzeria together, finishing off their pizza then finding themselves content to just sit there talking. Kyle hadn't really been sure what to expect from them having lunch with the Titans, but he ended up happy with the outcome. It would been a stretch to say that Jason was friends with the Titans, but a lot of the tension had drained away. Kyle thought that Jason was on the road to making friends with the Titans and forging some kind of relationship with Dick, even if it was probably going to be a while before either of them felt comfortable calling the other brother.

The outcome was good, but the entire situation had obviously taken something out of Jason because when Kyle took Jason back to Gotham, the two of them ended up curling up together for the night. Kyle didn't end up spending the night since he hadn't gotten back to LA to see his mom yet, but the two of them spent the afternoon laying on the couch in Wayne Manor together before Kyle had to leave. It was late July, but Wayne Manor had excellent air conditioning and was cold as ever so they threw a blanket on and watched one of the movies that was playing on one of the manor's hundreds of channels.

The next month brought Jason's fifteenth birthday.

Kyle took Jason out the day before. They went to a diner for lunch, ordering greasy burgers and french fries and giant milkshakes with far too much sugar in them. Afterwards, they split a piece of apple pie that had been covered in vanilla ice cream. Before they left Kyle gave Jason one of his presents - a framed drawing Kyle had done of Batman and Robin with the focus on the Boy Wonder. Kyle was saving Jason's second present, a book of poetry he'd picked up from a planet on a different galaxy, for Jason's birthday party. After they finished, the two of them headed to a nearby fun center with a rocking climbing wall and obstacle course. They spent the rest of the afternoon competing against other, something which involved a lot of teasing and shoving. Once they had worn themselves out, both of them bubbling with happiness and affection despite the trash talking, they went back to the manor.

They traded showers, Kyle changing into some clothes from his overnight bag, before ending up in Jason's bed so they could watch a movie together.

Alfred and Bruce were both out of the manor, finishing up a few things for the party. It was the first time they'd been left alone together since they'd started dating.

They ended up taking advantage of it even though neither of them had been planning on it.

It'd started out innocently enough. They'd been wrestling over the remote because Jason was insisting on watching Bride & Prejudice while Kyle was insisting on watching anything _other_  than an Austen movie since they'd watched Emma last time Kyle was around. Kyle had gotten Jason pinned under him, straddling Jason's thighs and pinning Jason's wrists down against the bed.

Somehow it turned into their first make-out session.

When Bruce and Alfred got back, Kyle was certain they knew what he and Jason had been up to. There was no way they didn't, not when Kyle's hair was a mess from Jason running his hands through it and both of their lips were plump from kissing for so long.

Neither of them said anything, though.

Kyle was glad for that. He might have died of embarrassment if one of them had.

* * *

"Do not show me any jeans with holes in them," Jason warned as they weaved through the crowd. He had a firm grip on Kyle's hand, pulling Kyle along with him. It didn't really bother Kyle. He was used to Jason doing things like this, so he just followed after and enjoyed holding Jason's hand. "I'll hurt anyone who shows me jeans with holes in them.

Kyle had seen Jason rant at people wearing ripped jeans, an entire spiel about how wearing ripped jeans was stupid and spat in the face of kids who couldn't afford jeans that weren't so worn that they were in tatters. He thought it was a bit of an overreaction, but Kyle understood why it would be a sore point for Jason. He nodded, "I won't."

The two of them were at Gotham's largest shopping center. Bruce had given Jason money to pick up a new school uniform, since Jason had hit another growth spurt and his pants had looked more like capris when he tried them on again, and some other new clothes for the year. Usually Jason would have gone shopping with Alfred, Bruce maybe if he could take an afternoon off work, but Kyle was in town and Jason would rather spend the time with him than with Alfred. The older man hadn't seemed offended by Jason's shy admission, just fondly amused. He'd driven over with them so that Jason could drive, then he'd handed Jason the money Bruce had set aside for the trip and wished him good luck before taking off to run some errands.

"Where do you want to look?" Kyle asked.

"Barnes and Noble," Jason answered.

"Last I checked Barnes and Noble doesn't sell clothing," Kyle said.

"No, but they sell books which are better."

"Jaybird," Kyle said, the name coming out fond and amused. "We're here to get you new clothes." Jason looked over his shoulder, shooting Kyle a look full of disgust. Kyle let out a quiet laugh. He pulled against Jason's hold just enough to stop him from pulling him any further. Jason was catching up on Kyle in height and weight, but Kyle still had several inches and a few pounds on him. Just enough to make it so he could still handle Jason like this. When Jason looked at him, irritation clear on his face, Kyle just smiled at him. "Let's get your uniform and clothes first, alright? I'll buy you a book and lunch afterwards."

Jason seemed to debate the offer for a moment before saying, "You would buy me lunch anyway."

"Probably, but I'm offering to buy you a book too. Then you'll have whatever one I buy you _and_ whatever one you're inevitably going to buy yourself."

Jason considered for a moment before finally nodding. "Alright. I'll take the bribe."

"You should've held out," Kyle said. "I probably could've been talked into buying you more books."

"Oh well," Jason said, shrugging a bit. He tugged on Kyle's hand, so he took a step forward into Jason's space. "One book, lunch, and an amazing boyfriend is enough for me."

"Buying you one book gets me called amazing? What would I get if I bought you two?"

"My eternal love and gratitude." He leaned forward, pressing a quick kiss against Kyle's lips. "But you'll probably earn that over time anyway."

* * *

Kyle darted his hand out, grabbing the last mozzarella stick from the plate before Jason could grab it. "Ah ha! I reign supreme!"

"It's a mozzarella stick," Jason said. "I could still kick your ass."

The two of them were sitting in a booth at a chain restaurant attached to the mall, getting the lunch that Kyle had promised to buy Jason. They'd shoved the shopping bags, several bags containing Jason's new clothes as well as the small bag of books they'd gotten from Barnes and Noble, into the space next to Jason.

Kyle wasn't entirely certain that he would win a fight against Jason, because ring of power or not there was something absolutely terrifying about Batman and the Robins that made Kyle genuinely fear the possibility of them ever switching sides, so instead of arguing about Jason's ability to kick his ass, he asked, "You wanna split it?"

"Nope," Jason dismissed. "Your hands have been all over it now."

"You've been kissing me all day," Kyle said. He leaned forward, dunking the stick into the small cup of ranch they had gotten with them. "My hygiene wasn't a problem then."

"I know you brushed your teeth this morning and I had better be the only one your kissing so I'm not worried about that," Jason said. "I have no idea where your hands have been. Did you wash them after you went to the bathroom? Who knows."

"How do you know I brushed my teeth this morning?" Kyle challenged. He _had_  washed his hands the last time he'd gone to the bathroom, but he knew that Jason wasn't serious about any of his accusations so he didn't see a point in arguing about that. "You weren't there."

"Because you were complaining the other day about that planet without tooth care," Jason said.

Kyle remembered the planet then scrunched his nose. "It was disgusting."

"Hence why I know you wouldn't go without brushing your teeth," Jason said.

"Never again," Kyle said.

"Honestly though," Jason said, "if you ever let me kiss when you haven't brushed your teeth, I am going to kick your ass."

"That is completely fair."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1) Hi everyone! I hope you enjoyed this chapter! 
> 
> 2) Okay so with this fic I needed to solidly set up a Teen Titan team for this fic. It was a little difficult to do since Dick, Jason, and Kyle were all canonically Titans are one point and on very different teams. Given the timeline of this fic - especially in relation to how I've changed Kyle's place in the timeline in order to make him a hero at the same time as Jason - and how I've established that Jason is one of the youngest heroes in this timeline the team I settled with is a mix of the original Teen Titans and New Teen Titans which Jason was in. SO BASICALLY our Teen Titan team in this fic is: Dick, Wally, Donna, Garth, Roy, Koriand'r, and Victor [Cyborg].


	9. rain or shine, i'm on your side

"Why are you hiding in a corner?"

Kyle's head was tucked down as he tore into a package of M&M's, trying to make sure he didn't rip the package completely and end up spilling them. When he had finished opening the package, he looked up to find Jason standing in front of him.

The two of them were in the watchtower where a good portion of the league was hanging around, having a Halloween party. It was a silly holiday, but it was one that the kids had been excited for and which the heroes from off-world had been intrigued by. Kyle wasn't entirely certain who had convinced the more reserved members of the league to go along with it, but he knew there had been a lot of talk about stress levels and everyone needing a moment to relax. The entire league had even agreed to a shared costume theme - superheroes. They were all wearing a costume that matched another hero in the league, having been banned from coming in their own.

The Titans had all come as each other - with Dick dressed as Starfire and Wally as Wonder Girl. Guy and John were off world, but Hal had come as the Flash while Barry came as a Green Lantern. Kyle had heard Hal complaining about the fact that Barry's costume was John's rather than his, but Barry had just been laughing it off. Clark, Diana, and Bruce had all swapped costumes as well. Clark was Wonder Woman, Bruce was Superman, and Diana was Batman.

Kyle and Jason had both come as members of the Justice League's big three as well.

Kyle had decided to dress as Batman. Mostly to show off that he had the muscles to pull the costume off.

Jason had never considered going as anyone other than Wonder Woman, something which Kyle hadn't realized was going to be a problem until he'd seen Jason in his costume earlier.

Jason _shouldn't_ have looked nice given that he was built larger, broad shoulders and muscle packed everywhere, but Jason _did_  look nice and Kyle was struggling with it a little bit. Their relationship had moved from chaste kisses to heavy make-out sessions, but Jason was only fifteen and Kyle knew he wasn't ready for anything other than that. He was more than fine with that. The costume just made it a bit more of a struggle, especially considering Jason was wearing a skirt that showed off his thighs.

Jason's thighs were a weakness of Kyle's.

"Hal kept taking all the M&Ms in the candy bowl," Kyle told him. He was very careful to keep his eyes on Jason's face, refusing to let them drift any further. He gestured to the bowl next to him, "So I stole the bowl and brought it over here."

"So you reacted to Hal stealing M&Ms by stealing them yourself?"

"I didn't steal them. I liberated them."

Jason laughed, quiet and amused. "Well, can I liberate some of them as well?"

"I suppose I don't mind sharing with you," Kyle said. He reached for the candy bow which was sitting on the table near him. He didn't hold it out for Jason, instead setting the hand that wasn't holding the bowl over the top. He grinned, saying, "But I want a kiss in exchange."

"Absolutely not," Jason said, without so much as a pause for thought. Kyle raised an eyebrow. He wasn't really offended because he knew better than to think Jason meant anything by it, but he was curious about the rejection. "You're dressed like Bruce, Kyle. I am absolutely not kissing you while you're dressed like Bruce."

Kyle was quiet for a moment before nodding and taking his hand off the bowl of candy. "Alright, that's fair."

"Exactly." Jason reached forward, grabbing one of the M&M packages from the bowl. As he tore it open, he said, "But I talked to Bruce and he said you could stay the night tonight if you don't have anything going on with your mom."

"I don't."

"Then come spend the night." He grinned at Kyle, teasing but with a hint of fondness under it. "I'll kiss you plenty once you're wearing literally anything other than that costume."

"Oh really?" Kyle said. "I'll just go find Victor and get him to lend me his Nightwing costume then."

He moved as though he was actually going to leave, but Jason reached out and grabbed his arm. He was laughing as he wrapped his hand around Kyle's bicep. "There will be absolutely no kissing in that costume either."

Kyle said, "I think Dick's kissed more girls in that costume than he has out of it."

"Last I checked you weren't trying to kiss any girls," Jason said. "I might be wearing a skirt, but I'm still a guy."

"I'm aware," Kyle said. He had already been grinning, but now it softened to a softer smile. "I'm pretty fond of you just the way you are."

A pleased, light pink blush crawled its way up Jason's chest.

"I'm pretty fond of you too," Jason said. A small moment passed by before he managed to gather himself, adding on, "But I'm still not kissing you if you're wearing a Batman or Nightwing costume."

* * *

"I think I ate too many M&Ms at the party," Kyle mused. "Chocolate is starting to taste bad."

Jason shoved the rest of the kit-kat in his hand into his mouth. As he chewed, he said, "That sounds like a you problem. It tastes fine to me."

It was late on Halloween night, several hours after the Justice League's party. The two of them were sitting on the couch in Wayne Manor. They had both stripped out of their costumes, changing into their pajamas and curling up together. Kyle was sitting against the arm of the couch with Jason tucked into his side with a blanket draped over his legs. Kyle had one of his arms wrapped around Jason's shoulders. There was a bowl of candy sitting on the couch in front of Jason's stomach, close enough for both of them to reach, and a scary movie playing on the TV in front of them.

Kyle pulled a face. "That's disgusting."

"Your face is disgusting."

"You're dating my face."

"I know, it's really unfortunate. Dating your face was an unfortunate consequence of dating your sparkling personality."

"You are such a brat." He reached down, pinching Jason's cheek and pulling the skin away from his face. Jason let out a soft, unhappy sound. He didn't sound like he was in pain, just mildly uncomfortable. "The actual worst."

"Stop, stop," Jason said, though the words came out slurred given the way Kyle was pulling on him. He reached up, patting his hands against Kyle's forearms. "I take it back. I take it back."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yes, yes."

"Alright."

Kyle let go of Jason's cheek.

Jason reached up, rubbing at the area Kyle had just released. "That hurt, jackass."

"Well you hurt my feelings," Kyle told him.

"I did not," Jason said, rolling his eyes a bit.

"Okay, maybe not." All joking aside, Kyle was confident in his appearance. He had been lucky enough that he'd never really been all that self conscious. He'd become a Lantern at fifteen. He'd put on muscle in a way that most boys his age could only dream of and it'd given him a lot of confidence in a time when most kids his age were struggling. He knew that he was attractive. And more than that, he knew that Jason found him attractive as well. "But it still wasn't very nice."

"Would a kiss make it better?"

"I don't know. Are you sure you want to kiss my face given how terrible you think it is?"

"And you think I'm a brat," Jason said, rolling his eyes.

"You are a brat," Kyle said. Jason shifted, pushing himself up closer to Kyle's face. Kyle just smiled at him. "I just happen to be fond of you regardless of how bratty you are."

"Jerk," Jason said, but there was amusement in his voice and it didn't stop him from leaning in to slot their lips together.

* * *

Kyle spent most of November with Guy.

The two of them were usually stationed on Oa, but there was an emergency several sectors away that needed attention. The Lanterns that usually patrolled that sector were busy taking care of something on one of the other planets in the sector and couldn't be pulled away. So instead the guardians pulled Kyle and Guy off guard duty and sent them out to deal with it. Kyle and Guy cleared the situation up, a sort of Romeo and Juliet situation that had ended up with two royal families decimated and rebellion brewing that had led a third party to calling for guardian diplomacy before the entire planet got dragged into a war, but by the time it all got sorted it was almost Thanksgiving.

All of Earth's Lanterns had made arrangements to spend the holiday on Earth, so the four of them met up on Oa for lunch then flew back together. Hal had started out talking about how much he loved his sister-in-law Susan's cooking, but how much he absolutely hated her mother and wasn't looking forward to spending the holiday with the woman. At some point, Kyle mentioned how he'd gotten invited to lunch with Jason and the rest of the trip to Earth had been spent with Kyle being mercilessly teased about how serious his relationship with Jason was. John had even joined in with Hal and Guy, asking Kyle if they were going to make green one of their wedding colors.

It was stupid, but Kyle couldn't help the way he blushed when they teased him. He didn't know if he and Jason would end up spending that much of their lives together, they were only fifteen and seventeen and their future was more unpredictable than most teenagers given their identities, but it wasn't a terrible thing to imagine.

They arrived on Earth the weekend before Thanksgiving.

Kyle spent Saturday with his mom. The two of them went out for breakfast together. Kyle talked about the mission he'd been sent on and complained about Guy. His mother told him a bunch of workplace gossip that Kyle probably soaked up a little too eagerly, but he'd spent the last month on another planet trying to make sure a glorified real life soap opera didn't end up blowing a planet apart and it was nice to hear drama that wasn't going to lead to a world war. She told him about the man she had been seeing, though only just enough to make Kyle feel that he didn't have to spend the night threatening some almost fifty year old. Afterwards, they stopped by a small shop so Kyle could buy her flowers, something that Maura objected to but which Kyle insisted on because while there wasn't much he could do for his mother he could buy her flowers to let her know how much he appreciated her.

Last time he was in town Kyle had made plans to go hiking with Jason, so he went to Gotham early Sunday morning. He and Jason started at Buttermilk Falls then made their way uphill to the Appalachian Trail which they took to Crater Lake before making their way to Hemlock Pond. The trail was full of beautiful scenery, which Kyle sappily thought was made only better by the fact that Jason was at his side. It was difficult at times, but the challenge made it fun. So did the fact that the two of them spent the entire time talking, swapping stories about their time apart and teasing each other at the roughest bits to push each other to keep going.

Though the day was fun and Kyle enjoyed the time with him, when he picked Jason up in the morning it was obvious that something had put Jason in a bad mood. Kyle had planned on asking Jason about it later in the day, but as time went on Jason seemed to relax and Kyle ended up letting it drop in favor of seeing his boyfriend smile.

When Thanksgiving rolled around and Kyle went to the manor, having decided to take up the offer to have Thanksgiving lunch with the Wayne's before dinner with his mother, he found out that the cause of Jason's frustration on Sunday was likely something that Bruce had done or said. Kyle didn't ask for details since it was a holiday and he didn't want to start a fight in someone else's house, but there was a heavy tension between Bruce and Jason. It was thick enough, and obvious enough, that Kyle found himself incredibly glad that Dick was there as well. He didn't know how he would have dealt with having lunch in that environment without another party around to mediate.

Kyle had wanted to ask Jason about it before he left for Oa again, but he already had plans to spend Friday shopping with his mother before heading back into space on Saturday.

In the end, Kyle decided to let the topic drop, hoped that things settled down by the time he got back.

* * *

"Jay, is something going on?"

It was still early in December, but Gotham loved to make its inhabitants as miserable as possible so the temperature had already plummeted. The sky was a sickly grey without a trace of sunshine. The city was still snow free, but Kyle thought it wouldn't be very much longer until Gotham was buried in several inches of snow and slush.

Jason and Kyle were sitting in a small diner, having lunch together. They were still waiting on their entrees, but there was a plate of warm french fries piled in cheese and bacon in front of them as well as two cups of hot chocolate. Kyle hadn't gotten to eat very many of the fries, though, because Jason was shoveling them into his mouth with a single-minded intensity.

"It's nothing," Jason dismissed. "Just Bruce being an asshole."

Kyle felt a small pulse of shock. Jason didn't really sing Bruce's praises all the time, but it was rare to hear him speak so rudely about him. Jason held a lot of respect and love for both of his current guardians.

"What happened?" Kyle asked.

"He thinks I'm too aggressive," Jason said.

Kyle hummed a little bit before asking, " _Are_  you?"

"Not anymore than he is. I mean I break a few bones and I've probably dealt out a few concussions, but so has he. I don't know what else he's expecting. I'm not Dick. I can't just dart and roll around. If I don't hit someone, then I'm going to get hit and the criminals have a lot less hang ups about how much damage they do then I do. He's so worried about it that he had Barbara ask me out on a mission the other day just so she could give him a second opinion."

It took him a moment to remember that Barbara was Batgirl's civilian name. She had worked with the Justice League a few times, but Batgirl was usually the one that took care of Gotham when Batman, Robin, and Nightwing were absorbed in League stuff. Kyle didn't know her very well, but he knew that she tutored Jason on the weekends and that Jason really looked up to her.

"What'd she say?"

"I don't know," Jason said. Something flashed across his face, more hurt than angry. "But Bruce trusts me even less than he did before I went on that mission with her."

Kyle stared at Jason for a moment, wondering what he was supposed to say or do to make this better.

He couldn't imagine being in Jason's situation.

The Lantern Corps kept the peace of the universe, but they were for all intents and purposes an army. And Kyle was a soldier within that army.

Kyle had injured living beings.

Kyle had _killed_  living beings.

The rings usually had a limitation against that, but in dire situations the rings limitations fell away with permission to do whatever it took to keep the world safe.

Killing was the most difficult thing Kyle had ever done, but severely injuring someone in a fight wasn't something that Kyle did lightly either.

Kyle couldn't imagine how he'd get through having to do either of those things if he didn't have people supporting him when he did it. He couldn't imagine what it would be like without Hal to wrap an arm around his shoulders when he saw him after a tough mission, his arm a comforting weight as he teased Kyle and dragged him out of his thoughts. He couldn't imagine what it would be like without John to go to when everything was too much, someone who would listen to everything Kyle had to say and help him work through things until Kyle knew what he had done was the wrong thing. He couldn't imagine what it would be like without Guy by his side in some of those toughest moments, a partner to shoulder the burdens of the most intense missions with.

Kyle couldn't imagine doing what he did and having the people that he trusted turn against him the way that Bruce was turning against Jason.

He didn't know what to say to make this better for Jason.

"Jay, I don't know what to say to fix this," Kyle said, because admitting that he was at a lost seemed the best place to start. He reached out, placing his hand on Jason's wrist since his fingers were resting on the plate of french fries. "But there's nothing wrong with what you do, okay? Doing what we do puts you in a lot of danger. In our line of work, there's no shame in hurting someone to keep yourself or the people of Gotham safe." Kyle worried that what he had to say next would drive a wedge between Jason and Bruce, but he felt like Bruce was doing a pretty damn job of driving a wedge between them as it was. If Bruce was going to isolate Jason instead of giving Jason the comfort he should have been giving in this situation, than Kyle was going to make sure Jason knew there were other options. "Bruce's idea of what's acceptable might leave you on the outskirts, but know that there are people in the league who are just as noble as Bruce or Clark who do whatever it takes to keep themselves and the people on this planet safe. Diana has gone as far as too kill people before, you know? It's a terrible thing to do, but there are times when extreme force is justified."

Jason was quiet for a moment, absorbing Kyle's words.

Eventually he looked at Kyle. There was a small, sad smile on his face as he said, "Thank you, but that doesn't make it any easier when Bruce doesn't see it that way."

"I know," Kyle said. He squeezed Jason's wrist. "But I wanted you to know that I'm here for you. No matter what happens."

Jason's smile seemed to brighten just a bit. "You're a sap."

"Yup." He lifted up, leaning over so he could smack a kiss against Jason's forehead. "But I'm your sap."

* * *

"Alfred," Jason said, breaking through the silence that had settled in the room. "Can Kyle and I be excused? We want to exchange presents before he has to go back to LA."

It was the day before Christmas Eve. Kyle had come to the manor to spend some time with Jason and exchange gifts. He hadn't anticipated that the holiday season would mean that Dick would be home, Kyle had known that Dick and Bruce's relationship was on the mend but he hadn't realized things had improved that much, and thought that Bruce would be at work instead of around the manor, so when Alfred had called the two of them into the dining room for lunch Kyle had been surprised to find Dick and Bruce were both already at the table.

Things had been fine at first, but then Dick had brought up the Titans which had turned into a conversation about Kyle's duties as a lantern and eventually to Jason and Bruce's recent cases. But since most of Jason and Bruce's cases involved the two of them arguing at the end, the conversation had gone stilted and awkward. Dick and Alfred, who didn't usually join them for meals but had been persuaded by Dick's desire to spend time with him before he went back to San Francisco, had both attempted to shift the conversation, but Bruce had gone quieter than usual and Jason had clenched his teeth. It hadn't helped that now that Kyle knew what Jason and Bruce were fighting about, he was very firmly on Jason's side and had gotten over his healthy fear of Bruce in order to glare at the man.

Alfred looked between Jason and Bruce, something sad and exhausted in his expression, but eventually he nodded. "Of course Master Jason. Go ahead."

"Thank you," Jason said. He pushed himself away from the table and onto his feet. When he was standing, he held his hand out for Kyle. "Coming?"

"Yeah." Kyle stood up, grabbing Jason's hand. He gave it a tight squeeze, hoping to give him at least a little bit of comfort. He let Jason pull him through the dining room and out into the den before he asked, "Are you okay?"

"Yes," Jason said, but he didn't look at Kyle. He just kept tugging Kyle through the house with the kind of focus that made it clear he desperately wanted to be anywhere other than the dining room.

Kyle didn't bother pointing out how obvious of a lie it was. It wouldn't help any.

Instead, he said, "Do you want to come to LA with me for the night?"

"Tomorrow's Christmas eve," Jason said. "I don't want to intrude."

"You wouldn't be intruding," Kyle said. "You're family. Mom wouldn't mind having you over."

"You're part of my family too," Jason said, squeezing Kyle's hand. It was now that Jason looked over his shoulder, saying, "But Alfred has had enough of his grandchildren not being around during the holidays because Bruce couldn't stop being an asshole. I'm not going to do the same thing to him as Dick."

"Alright," Kyle agreed. "But if you need a break - during or after the holidays - then call me, okay? I'll come grab you right away."

"I will." Jason stopped walking, turning so he could press a kiss against Kyle's cheek. "Thank you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1) Hi everyone! I hope you enjoyed this chapter! 
> 
> 2) It was funny to see how many of you read the last chapter and immediately went "Oh my god, Jason's fifteen. No thank you."
> 
> 3) I'm not sure how I feel about the last section. I think it might be too similar to the one before it?


	10. the stars want us to become a tragedy

Kyle rocked on his heels as he waited for the door to Wayne manor to open, rubbing his hands together and blowing against them to try and warm them up. He had been born and raised in California, no amount of time spent in Gotham with Jason or on a frozen planet for the Guardians could change that.

The door pulled open.

Kyle had been prepared to see Alfred, so he found himself pleasantly surprised when it was Jason standing in the doorway.

A call from Oa had pulled Kyle away from Earth before the New Year, so this was the first time he was seeing Jason this year. It wasn't really that far along yet, only mid-January, but there was something exciting about seeing Jason, knowing that it was the start of another year they would spend together.

Jason was wearing a pair of light jeans with a soft looking dark blue sweater and a black leather jacket. He must have gotten a haircut while Kyle was gone. Before his hair had been long enough to curl around his ears, a look that Kyle had found absurdly adorable, but now it was cut shorter and swept off to the left. It made him look a little older.

"Hey," Kyle said, smiling brightly. "I know we had plans to go to the movies, but my stomach feels like it's going to start eating itself if I don't eat soon. So do you want to lunch first?"

"Honestly," Jason said. Kyle felt himself abruptly startled by the anger in Jason's voice. He'd been so caught up in his happiness at seeing Jason again that he hadn't noticed the expression on Jason's face before, but now he realized there was a deep scowl on Jason's face. "I really don't care what we do as long as we don't do it here."

"Um," Kyle said, a little helpless.

He was still trying to figure out how he was supposed to respond to that, whether he was supposed to just go along with what Jason was saying or if he should ask Jason about whatever was upsetting him before he just went along with it, when Jason reached out and took Kyle's hand.

"Kyle," Jason said, voice dropping low. The anger was still evident in his voice, but there was also a note of desperation there. "I will answer your questions later, okay? I really, really need to get the hell out of here right now, though."

"Okay." Agreeing was a lot easier when Jason asked like that. He knew that Bruce would never hurt Jason physically, but he also knew that Jason and Bruce were butting heads more and more often. He had hoped that the new year would smooth things out between them, he knew how much fighting with Bruce hurt Jason, but that clearly hadn't been the case. If Jason needed an escape that desperately then Kyle wasn't going to argue. "Do you need to tell Alfred before we leave?"

"No." Now that Kyle had agreed, Jason shifted his grip on Kyle's hand so that their fingers were locked together and then started walking. Kyle didn't fight it, just followed Jason as the younger boy pulled him down the stairs and away from the manor. "He knows that we're going out today. I'll just send him a text message once we get away from here."

Kyle really didn't think that was a great idea, but he thought that Alfred would understand. If Jason and Bruce had gotten into a fight before Kyle had arrived, Alfred would know what had happened and that Jason needed a break from the house.

"Okay," Kyle agreed. Wanting to draw the conversation away from whatever was upsetting Jason, Kyle said, "How about I fly us over to that place in Brooklyn? Hot dogs and fries are sounding pretty good to me."

* * *

"He's a fucking prick," Jason said. He grabbed a handful of fries from the basket between them and tossed them into his mouth. "I have never given him a reason not to trust me! Yeah, I hit a little hard, but I've never really hurt anyone. I followed his rules for years before I decided that I could do my own thing sometimes. And why is he so upset about that anyway? Isn't that the entire reason he made me spend those weekends at Titans Tower? Because he wanted me to learn something from them?"

"Uh huh," Kyle said, watching Jason's hands. He was trying his best to pay attention, but Jason had spent the last hour bitching about Bruce. At some point Kyle had decided to just let Jason rant. Currently, he found himself wondering if it was safe to grab some of the fries for himself or if he would end up getting hurt if he did. Jason was grabbing them rather aggressively.

"And now he's acting like I'm some kind of thug," Jason said. "Like I'm just fucking injuring random people for no reason! As if he's not there with me the entire fucking time, watching over me like some kind of demented hawk."

"I don't think you can call him a hawk." Jason looked at him, fixing him with an unhappy look at Kyle's nitpicking, but Kyle just continued. "I mean it just seems wrong, you know? Like Hawkman and Hawkgirl already claimed that animal-motif."

"Alright," Jason said. "Watching over me like some kind of demented bat."

"All bats are demented," Kyle said. He smiled at Jason as he added, "Except for you."

"I'm a bird, not a bat," Jason said, though it seemed as though Kyle's interruption and flirting had drained him of some of his steam. Kyle's heart ached as he watched Jason slump a bit, defeat and sadness taking the place of anger.

"Of course you're a bat," Kyle said. He reached for Jason's hand, uncaring of how greasy and salt-coated the fries had made Jason's fingers. "In our world, we call baby bats robins instead of pups."

"Maybe when Dick was in the costume," Jason said. Kyle squeezed. This moment, more than any moment during Jason's angry rambling, was the moment when Jason needed Kyle's comfort. "But not now, not with me in the costume. Bruce hates the way I do things. He doesn't want it associated with Batman."

"Bruce is an idiot. He's far to idealistic for someone who does what we do," Kyle said. "You _are_ a bat, Jason. You fight for the people in your city just like Bruce and Dick do. And you do that despite the fact that you know the worst of that city in a way that they never have, in ways that they never _will_." He squeezed Jason's hand tighter, made sure Jason was looking him in the eye before he said, "So yeah, Jay, you are a bat and you're the best of them all."

There was a long pause before Jason squeezed Kyle's hand back. "You are absolutely biased as hell, but thank you."

Kyle felt the desire to either scream or punch Bruce Wayne in the face.

That wasn't very constructive or very helpful at the moment, so Kyle just settled for leaning forward so he could rest their foreheads together.

His voice was low and filled with the kind of ferocity that came with desperately wanting someone to understand your point as he said, "I am absolutely biased, but that doesn't mean that I'm not right. You are the best person, the best hero, that I know."

* * *

Kyle couldn't change Jason's opinion of himself in one afternoon, so in the end the two of them dropped the serious conversation.

Kyle couldn't change Jason's opinions, but he could do his best to make Jason forget about his worries and bring a smile to his lips instead of a scowl.

He did his best to do just that for the rest of the day.

They spent a while walking around after eating, holding hands as they carried on a meandering conversation. Kyle always enjoyed doing thing with Jason, but sometimes it was nice to just spend some time talking to Jason about everything going on.

Kyle told Jason about the mission that had called him away from the planet and how many absolutely insane looking fish he'd seen there since it was a water planet. Guy had been with him, as he usually was given that they were partners, and there had been one point when one of the fish had frightened him so badly that the entire sea seemed, at leas to Kyle, to echo with it. Jason told Kyle about the small little community theater he'd found in Gotham, how he was trying to convince Alfred to let him help them with their production of MacBeth. Alfred wasn't against the idea of Jason taking up an extracurricular, but he was worried about Jason putting too much on his plate.

At some point, Kyle directed Jason to a small cafe and bought both of them hot chocolate to drink while they spoke.

By the time their cups were gone, they'd decided that they were up for doing something else together that day rather than returning home.

They ended up at MoMA. They'd been there together before, more than once in fact, but Kyle was certain he could go there every day for the rest of his life and never get sick of it. He didn't know if Jason felt the same way, but at the very least Jason didn't seem to hate the museum. He always seemed to be smiling as Kyle pulled him through the exhibits, talking quickly about anything and everything so that he could make sure that Jason knew exactly how Kyle felt about each piece. Kyle thought that Jason's smiles in the museum probably had more to do with him and Jason's affection for him than the actual art. He wasn't too bothered by that.

He was glad that he was someone that made Jason happy.

They stayed at the museum until it closed, but Kyle hadn't wanted to let go of Jason's hand and Jason hadn't wanted to go home yet. So instead they had gone walking in search of something to eat while Jason called Alfred to make sure it was alright for him to stay out a little later. They ended up just eating at McDonalds, because they did their best to eat healthy given their other identities but sometimes it was nice to eat something absolutely terrible for their bodies.

They took advantage of the early winter darkness and a shady store Jason knew from his days before Bruce, buying some fireworks that they shouldn't have been able to buy given their ages. They ended up setting them off in an alleyway in order to keep any cops from seeing them. They were the kind of terrible fireworks that Kyle and his mother used to set off in their driveway on summer nights, but Kyle found himself transfixed by each one.

It wasn't until the last of their fireworks were gone that Kyle finally took Jason home.

It had been a good day for Kyle, but what made it even better was seeing that Jason was still smiling even once they were standing on Wayne Manor's front steps. Kyle was just _so happy_ that he'd managed to give Jason at least one day of happiness, away from all of his fighting with Bruce and the self-doubt that had come with it.

But they couldn't spend every day the way they'd spent that day - Jason had school and his work as Robin and Kyle had his mother and his work as a Lantern - but Kyle did his best to make sure that when he was on Earth, he gave Jason as many good days as he possibly could.

There was a planet near the edge of the sector that spent most of the year in total darkness. When the light finally came back, something that only happened for a month before it disappeared again, there was a giant festival to celebrate the light and all of the colors brought with it. This year the weekend long festival fell on Valentines weekend. Kyle thought it would be a nice date, something he and Jason would both enjoy. The fact that it was three days that Kyle could spirit Jason away from the manor, three whole days that he could get Jason away from Bruce's judgement and make him smile, only made Kyle more determined to take Jason.

Convincing everyone to give them permission was difficult since talking to Bruce infuriated him, somehow the man didn't realize how much he was hurting Jason and how desperately Jason needed to get away from him which made Kyle want to shake some sense into him, but Kyle managed to pull through that conversation without starting a fight. In the end everyone agreed that Jason and Kyle could go without a babysitter.

The first day of the festival people allowed their love ones to paint designs on their skin. The town would be filled with people walking around and enjoying the sun while showing off the beautiful, colorful designs which showed how much they were loved. Kyle covered every inch of Jason's skin in trees and flowers that had hearts for leaves. Jason complained that he wasn't going to be able to draw something even half as good as what Kyle had, but Kyle had just kissed him to shush him and told him that it was more about the act of spending time drawing something than it was about how it looked. In the end, Jason slapped two bright red hand prints onto Kyle's cheeks and then covered the rest of him in swooping, swirling patterns. They spent that day touring the town with their hands intertwined and their love for each other painted on their skin.

The second day of the festival was about nature and the color that the sunlight would bring into their world. Everyone wore brightly colored accessories made out of flowers and flocked to the towns parks to enjoy playing in them now that the sun was shining down on them. Kyle and Jason bought flowers from a vendor in the morning and weaved them together into crowns. Jason's was made of a soft purple flower with a bright starburst of white in the center while Kyle's was made of a dark blue flower that seemed to glitter in the sunlight. They spent the afternoon in a park, joining in with games of kickball and other activities that started up. Halfway through the day, a girl a few years younger than them had come up to them, tentatively complimenting Jason's crown. Jason had ended up trading his crown for a flower necklace the girl was wearing.

The final day of the festival was almost exactly the same as the Holi festival in India. Everyone gathered in the downtown streets, dressed head to toe in white clothing, and the day was spent covering each other in colored power and water. Kyle spent the afternoon throwing colors everywhere while trying his best to keep one of his hands locked with Jason's so they wouldn't be pulled apart. They spent the afternoon laughing as they traded colorful kisses.

It was not only the best Valentines day of Kyle's life, but the best weekend of Kyle's life.

* * *

"Dick!" Kyle called out, smiling as he approached. He was in the watchtower, having just arrived back on Earth after his last trip out to Oa. He'd seen Bruce in the main room when he'd arrived, so Kyle had slipped out into the hallway so he could find Jason. He had seen Dick before he made it to the library, always the first place he went when looking for Jason. He figured it wouldn't hurt to say hi to him before moving on. "Hey."

"Kyle," Dick said, when he'd turned and spotted Kyle coming towards him. There was a small smile on his face, but something about it didn't look completely real. Kyle considered asking about it for a moment, but ultimately decided that this probably wasn't the place for that. Even if it was, he wasn't sure that he and Dick were close enough for him to ask something like that. "Hey."

"What are you doing up here?" Kyle asked.

"Things in Gotham are pretty crazy right now, so I've been helping Bruce with some stuff," Dick said.

"That's good," Kyle said. He knew Dick had been trying to improve his relationship with Bruce recently and that Dick's budding relationship with Jason had gone a long way to help with that. Kyle was glad for that, not just for Dick's sake but because the tentative brotherhood blooming between Dick and Jason had helped Jason a lot as he fought with Bruce. Dick was the only other person who understood what it was like to be a Robin - and more importantly what it was like to be Bruce Wayne's son. "Or at least, the helping Bruce with stuff thing is right?"

"Yeah," Dick said, though he didn't sound entirely certain. "I just wish it was under different circumstances."

Kyle didn't know exactly what that meant, but he figured Dick probably wished that things hadn't gotten so strained between them to begin with.

"I just got back, so I'm on my way to the library to find Jason, but if Bruce doesn't need you in the main room right this moment, maybe all three of us can grab lunch?"

"Jason's not here."

"Oh. I assumed that he was since Bruce is, but I guess given the way they've been fighting it makes sense that Jason didn't come up with him."

Dick stared at Kyle for a moment before realization lit up his eyes. "You haven't been been around at all this month have you?"

"Uh no. I left for Oa after Valentines Day. I haven't been able to get back until now," Kyle said, wondering why that would matter. He wondered if things had somehow managed to worsen between Bruce and Jason while he was gone. "Is everything okay?"

"Kyle... Bruce benched Jason."

Kyle felt his stomach drop. "What?"

"Jason isn't Robin anymore."

* * *

Kyle reached out, rapping his knuckles against the window in front of him.

The curtains were open so he could see Jason sitting at his desk with his back turned to Kyle. He was looking down at something sprawled across the desktop, but Kyle couldn't tell what it was from where he was.

He saw Jason jump when he knocked, grabbing what he was looking at in a hurry and shoving it into his desk.

There was a moment after the papers had been put away where Jason just stared at the door, seemingly expecting it to open.

Realizing that Jason must have thought the knocking was coming from the door, which Kyle supposed was a reasonable thing to assume even if it kind of ruined his dramatic thunder, Kyle knocked on the window again. He hit it a little harder, hoping that the extra force would help create a sound that let Jason know he was hitting glass.

It must have worked because Jason turned immediately.

There was something frantic in his expression when he first moved, but once he caught Kyle's eye his entire body seemed to relax.

He stood up, making his way across the the room to the window Kyle was hovering outside of. Kyle realized now that Jason was wearing a pair of Green Lantern pajama pants and a pure black tank top. Kyle wondered, briefly, where Jason had gotten the pants. Then he wondered if Jason had bought the pants because of their relationship or if he'd gotten them just so that Bruce would have to look at something associated with Hal.

Jason pulled the window up.

"Hey," Kyle said.

"Hello," Jason answered. "Why are you outside my window?"

"Dick told me what happened."

He hoped that Jason knew what he meant - that Dick had told him about Garzonasa and how Jason and Bruce had fought about the man and how Bruce thought Jason had killed him and how that had been the thing that led to Bruce stripping Jason of the Robin costume.

Jason said, "I didn't kill him."

"Okay." From what Dick had told him about the man, Kyle didn't think that it would have been a bad thing if Jason had killed Garzonasa. But if Jason told him he didn't then Kyle believed him. Jason seemed to relax just a bit, letting Kyle know that he'd done a good job over the last few months of making sure Jason knew Kyle believed him before everything else, that Kyle accepted his choices because he believed Jason would make the correct ones. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Fuck no. That topic has been thoroughly exhausted by Bruce," Jason said. "I'm technically grounded, but do you want to come in for a little bit? Alfred and Bruce have been leaving me alone, so no one's going to come check on me. We can watch a movie or something."

"Yeah." Kyle had really only come over so he could check on Jason, but he wasn't going to turn down the opportunity to spend a little more time with his boyfriend. Jason stepped backwards, giving Kyle to climb into the room with him. Once Kyle had settled on the floor, powering his ring down now that he didn't have to keep himself flying, he asked, "What do you want to watch?"

Jason was quiet for a moment, biting his lip and looking back at the door. When he turned back to Kyle, he said, "Can I show you something first? I do want to watch a movie, but I kinda want to share this with someone."

"Yeah, of course," Kyle said.

Jason looked at him for a minute before turning, making his way back to the desk and pulling the papers he'd shoved away back out.

Walking back over to Kyle, he held the paper out. Kyle's eyebrows furrowed as he realized that Jason was showing him his birth certificate.

Before Kyle could ask, Jason said, "Look at the mother's name."

Kyle glanced down.

He stopped when he saw what Jason was pointing out.

The line that Jason had indicated did not say Catherine Todd.

It said Sheila Haywood.

 

 

* * *

 

 

  
Kyle was walking down the street in Oa, barely seeing the road in front of him. He was too busy thinking about what he and Jason had talked about when he had visited last month.

Finding out that Catherine Todd, a woman that Jason spoke of fondly despite everything she had put him through, wasn't Jason's mother had been a shock. Finding out that Bruce had driven Jason to wanting to seek out his real mother had been an even bigger surprise. He had tried to help Jason sort through things, tried to give Jason advice on what he thought was the best course of action, but the fact of the matter was that Kyle couldn't even begin to imagine what Jason was going through. He wasn't sure that anything he had said had actually helped any.

Kyle kept coming back to their conversation, hoping that he could piece together some better advice to give Jason next time they saw each other, but he hadn't had any luck thus far.

"Kyle!" His name pulled Kyle out of his thoughts. He looked up to find Guy running down the street towards him. There was an expression on his face that put Kyle on edge. "Thank fuck I finally found you."

"Do we have a mission?" Kyle asked. Then, based off Guy's frantic expression, he continued, "What is it? Where is it? What's-"

"It's not a mission," Guy said. "You need to go to Earth right now."

"What? Why?"

Something flashed across Guy's face, pain and regret. As though, despite his frantic search for Kyle, he didn't want to be the one delivering the news to Kyle.

Then he said, "Kyle, Jason's dead."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1) Hello guys! I hope you all enjoyed this chapter and it lived up to all of your expectations (o˘◡˘o)(o˘◡˘o)
> 
> 2) the chapter of this title is from a poem by fireandsteelofangels on tumblr! You can read the poem [here!](https://fireandsteelofangels.tumblr.com/post/170463894657/i-know-this-wont-be-easy-that-the-world-wants-us)
> 
> 3) The third section was MEANT to be all about Valentines day and somehow Jason and Kyle ended up going on a fantastic date in January instead. Still managed to slip Valentines day in there.


	11. this is the me without you

**June 2010**

  
"Kyle."

He had been walking down the streets of Oa, weaving through the crowd in his attempt to get to the apartment that he lived in when he was on Oa. Barracks might have been a more accurate way of describing the building given the people who lived in them and the reason the building existed, but some Lanterns spent a lot of time on Oa and they tried to make their living spaces more reminiscent of homes.

The sound of his name halted Kyle.

He turned to find Guy coming towards him.

For a moment, panic seized Kyle as he remembered the last time Guy had approached him on these streets.

"What are you doing here?" Guy asked.

Kyle took a deep breath.

Guy was his friend, he reminded himself. He had told Kyle something terrible, but he was not some harbinger of terrible things.

"I have duties," Kyle said, when he felt like he could speak without his voice wavering. He didn't think he'd taken too severe of a pause, because Guy didn't seem to notice it. Or, if he did notice, he wasn't worried about it.

"The rest of us have been taking care of those for you," Guy said. There was a severe look on his face, lips pressed in a firm line and something tense in his eyes. Kyle was used to seeing Guy angry. He was not used to seeing Guy angry because he was worried. "You shouldn't be here."

"It's been a month. I can't hide away on Earth forever."

"I'm not telling you to stay away forever. But you just lost-"

 _"Don't."_ He didn't know if Guy was going to finish with 'Jason' or just 'someone.' He didn't want to know. Either way, "Please don't finish that sentence."

Guy's expression softened.

Kyle hated that. He preferred the anger to the pity, to the sympathy. He didn't want to be in this situation, didn't want to be in a situation that warranted those types of feelings.

"Kyle," Guy said. "Do you really think you're ready to be here?"

He hadn't wanted to talk about this with his mother when he was on Earth.

He didn't want to talk about this with Guy now that he was on Oa.

Hal had tried getting him to talk to Dinah, obviously thinking that it would help to talk to someone that wasn't so close to him, but honestly Kyle didn't want to talk about this with _anyone._

What he wanted, honestly, was for everyone to stop talking about the fact that Jason was dead. He didn't need them to keep reminding him. It wasn't as though Kyle had forgotten. It wasn't as though Kyle _could_  forget.

"Yes," Kyle said. It was the closet thing to the truth that he was willing to share. "Look, I've got to go. I'll talk to you later."

Kyle didn't give Guy time to stop him, just pushed forward through the crowd around them.

He didn't want to talk about this and he was fine with running away if that was what it took to make sure that this conversation didn't happen.

 

 

 

**July 2011**

  
Kyle sat at his mother's dining room table, watching as she moved around the kitchen.

"Mom," he said, "are you sure you don't want me to help any?"

It was the fourth of July. Kyle wouldn't usually be on planet for the holiday, but it had been a while since he'd made it back to Earth. He didn't like being on Earth for the anniversary of Jason's death, so he hadn't come back at all in April. His birthday was in May. It came so soon after the anniversary of Jason's death that Kyle didn't like celebrating. It just reminded him that there were no more birthdays for Jason. He hadn't deliberately stayed away during June, but he'd been too busy to make it back to Earth. So for the past three months, Kyle's only contact with his mother had been the occasional phone call.

When Independence Day had rolled around, offering an opportunity for Kyle to make it back to her, he'd taken it without question.

The two of them were supposed to be celebrating at some work-picnic that her co-workers were throwing, so she was currently running around the kitchen trying to prepare a few things that she had offered to bring.

"Yes, I'm sure," she said. "I have it under control. I'm not going to put you to work the first time you get back after such a long time away."

Kyle felt a flash of shame run through him. "I'm sorry, mom."

"It's fine," she said. She wasn't looking at him, instead focused on mixing the potato salad she was making, but Kyle knew that if she was she would have been smiling at him, soft and reassuring. "Spring is a rough time for you. And even if it wasn't, you're nineteen years old. I'm sure you want to spend time away from your mom."

Kyle felt suddenly aware of the fact that the last few months hadn't been the only time when he'd dropped the ball on visiting his mom.

"I'm sorry, mom," Kyle repeated. Before she could object to his apologies, Kyle said, "I love being here with you. I'm not avoiding coming back because I think I'm too old to spend time with my mom, I promise. I'm never going to be too old to hang out with you." He bit his lip. He had spent more than a year avoiding this topic, but there was something about this conversation that had Kyle feeling like maybe it was time to talk about some of the things he'd been running from. And while he hadn't wanted to talk to his mom in the immediate aftermath, now he couldn't think of a better person to start talking to about this. He took a deep breath before continuing. "The problem isn't you. It's just that coming home used to mean seeing you _and_  Jason, you know? And while I love you, I just find it hard to come back to Earth knowing that it's _just you_  that I'm coming to see."

His mother froze.

Then she let go of the spoon, turning to face him.

"Oh sweetheart," she said, words a quiet rush. She moved towards him, resting her hands on his knees and peering up at him. It reminded Kyle of when he was a little boy and she would crouch down so that she could speak to him directly. Her voice was soft as she said, "I am so sorry that you feel that way. Boys your age shouldn't have to deal with things like this. It's okay to struggle with it."

"Would it be okay if we talked about it now?" Kyle said. "I know I was a jerk when you asked before-"

"You weren't a jerk. You were hurt. You weren't ready," she told him. She squeezed his knee. "If you're ready to talk about it now, then I am more than happy to listen and help in whatever way I can."

 

 

 

**August 2012**

  
Kyle didn't think he would ever get over what had happened to Jason, because he didn't think that losing your first love to a mass murderer when you were seventeen was something someone could ever completely let go of, but he found himself finally starting to move past it after talking to his mother about it.

He couldn't forget everything that had happened, but finally talking about it allowed Kyle to start dealing with it.

He started spending more time on Earth outside of his time with the Justice League. It wasn't as much time as he'd been spending on Earth back when Jason was alive, back then he had made a point to be on Earth at least one weekend a month, but part of that was because his mother was right when she mentioned him being old enough to start figuring things out on his own.

He was twenty years old now. He'd started picking up more responsibilities on Oa and it wasn't always easy to get away from those responsibilities to visit his mother. But Kyle tried to make time to go out to Earth at least once a month so that he could see her. Sometimes he stayed the night with her, sometimes just long enough to have lunch or dinner with her.

Kyle had been enjoying the life he had on Oa, but he found that he was a lot happier now that he was seeing his mother regularly again. Hal, John, and Guy had become his family, had become even more important to him when he was spending all of his time on Oa, but his mother had been the only family he had for a long time. She was the most important person in his life. No one made him feel safe and happy the way that she did.

 

The year moved on.

Donna started working in space with John and the Darkstars.

Kyle and Donna fell together. They'd always been friends, but the few years between them had seemed much larger when Kyle was a teenager. Now, though, the two of them grew close.

Eventually, they started dating.

Being with Donna was different than being with Jason. Kyle had known it would be, not just because Donna was a girl but because Donna and Jason were such different people. Kyle was glad for the change. He didn't want to spend his entire life alone because he couldn't get over Jason, but he didn't think that he'd have been able to date anyone that reminded him too strongly of Jason. Being with someone like Donna was good because it meant that Kyle could be with her without constant reminders of Jason.

He still thought about Jason sometimes, because it was hard not to when Kyle was dating someone that Jason had admired so much. Sometimes he imagined a world where Jason was alive, where they had broken up for some reason and ended up friends instead of enemies. He imagined Jason finding out about Donna and laughing so hard that soda came out of his nose. He thought about huffing indignantly and insisting that it wasn't that strange. He thought about Jason stifling his laughter long enough to tell Kyle that it was hilarious how he kept ending up with people so far out of his league - first Jason himself and now Donna.

So, maybe being with Donna didn't _actually_ keep him from thinking about Jason.

But it was a good type of thinking, something that felt more bittersweet than heartbreaking.

The two of them were good together and Kyle was happy with Donna.

They still broke up shortly after their one year anniversary. They parted on amiable terms. They had both loved people before and after a year they both knew that no matter how much they loved each other, it wasn't the type of love that either of them wanted.

That didn't mean that Kyle didn't spend the next week on his months couch, eating all of her ice cream and making her watch romantic comedies with him.

 

 

 

**September 2013**

  
Kyle sat in a chair at the Justice League's meeting table, feet on the seat and his sketchbook in his lap as he waited for the meeting to start.

Usually John or Hal took care of League business since Earth was actually their sector and they spent the most time near the watchtower, but there was a problem several light years away that called both of them to the edge of the sector. Guy had been sent on a mission before Hal and John had gotten their call, leaving Kyle as the only Earth Lantern left.

Kyle didn't really mind taking care of things with the Justice League, but he was glad that it was a just routine meeting rather than an emergency the-world-is-being-attacked-and-we-all-have-to-band-together meeting. The League had gotten a lot better about not treating him as a child over the past few years, but the fact of the matter was that most of them had been around to watch him go from a teenager to a man. There were a few other members of the Justice League that were in the same situation, but the fact of the matter was that Kyle wasn't around often enough to make them take him as seriously as they took them.

It wasn't really a problem, slightly irritating but not necessarily something Kyle was willing to start a fight about, but he knew that if it was an emergency, the others wouldn't have taken any battle suggestions he had seriously. It didn't matter to them that he regularly went around saving other planets from similar threats.

Kyle was in the middle of outlining Aquaman's face, the King of Atlantis was sitting on the other side of the table and Kyle had been inspired by his jawline, when he heard a friendly voice approaching.

Looking up from his sketchbook, Kyle looked up to find Nightwing was entering the room.

Things had been rough between them for the first year or so after Jason's death. While they had both been in space at the time of Jason's death, Kyle had managed to make it to the funeral while Dick hadn't. Kyle had been pissed at Dick for not being there. Dick had been pissed at Bruce for not waiting until he could be there, but couldn't bring himself to be angry with Bruce given that they'd just lost a family member. He'd chosen instead to take it out on all of the funeral goers who hadn't managed to convince Bruce to wait.

There had also been the fact that they both reminded each other of Jason. Neither of them had wanted to be around the other while the wounds were still fresh.

Things were better between them now, though. Kyle was genuinely happy to see him since it had been a while.

"Dick!" he called out. Dick had been turned to speak to someone behind him, but at Kyle's call he turned to see him. "Hey."

Dick smiled at Kyle for a moment, but then the expression froze before sliding away. The expression that settled afterwards was distressed and upset. "Kyle. I didn't know you were going to be here today."

"The others Lanterns are all busy." Kyle frowned a bit, eyebrows furrowing. "Is everything okay?"

"Yes, but-"

Before Dick could finish, a head popped up over Dick's shoulder. "Dick, what's going on? Why'd you stop?"

Kyle didn't know the boy personally but he knew who it was - Tim Drake, the latest Robin. It wasn't as though Kyle had never seen the boy before, but he'd been doing his best to avoid him.

He was sure that Drake was a good kid, but the fact of the matter was that Drake wasn't his Robin. In the same way that Dick had been Wally and Donna's Robin, Jason had been Kyle's. And in the same way that Dick's Titans had closed ranks and shut Jason out when he took the mantle, Kyle had pulled back and kept his distance from the new Robin.

He did not want to know the boy in the Robin costume unless that boy was Jason.

Dick must have seen how Kyle was feeling, because guilt added itself to his expression. "Kyle, I'm sorry. I never would have brought him if I'd known you were coming today."

"I can't be here," Kyle said. He pushed himself to his feet. He could feel the eyes of every league member in the room, watching him, but he couldn't bring himself to care. Kyle couldn't be here. He couldn't sit here and look at the boy who had taken up Jason's mantle. He could be surrounded by heroes that had gotten the chance to move from young hero to Justice League members and sitting across from a boy who would, one day, get to make that transition even though Jason had not. Three years had been enough for Kyle to come to terms with a lot of things. But not this. "I just can't."

No one tried to stop him as he pushed his way out of the room.

 

 

 

**October 2014**

  
"How are things on Earth?"

The four Lanterns were gathered around a table at a restaurant on Oa.

While they tried to get together regularly, Kyle and Guy had been on a long mission that had kept them off Oa for almost six months so the last time they'd all gotten together had been the middle of Earth's summer.

"Everything's going good," John said. Gesturing at Kyle, he said, "I visited your mom a few times like you asked. She's doing good."

"Thank you," Kyle said. He was relieved that his mother was okay. He didn't necessarily think she wouldn't be since his mother was a grown woman that didn't need or want his protection, but it was nice to know that someone had been watching over her while he was away.

"She misses you, though," John said. "So make sure you go visit her soon, okay?"

"I will. I have to stick around for a few days to get through briefings on the mission, but I'm heading out there for a few days as soon as I'm in the clear."

"This is probably old news by now," Guy said, "but how is Robin doing?"

There had been an accident at Titans Tower around the anniversary of Jason's death. Kyle had been checked out during that time, spending a week being sad at his mother's house, but he'd heard about it from Hal when he went back to Oa. A crime boss from Gotham - The Red Hood if Kyle remembered correctly - had come for Tim, brutally attacking him then painting a message in the boys blood so that everyone knew exactly who had done it. Plenty of heroes had offered to help Batman catch the man, but in the end he had turned them all down and said he would do it himself. Kyle wasn't exactly sure what he had done, but he knew that the situation had been taken care of somehow.

The man who had hurt him being arrested didn't mean that Tim's wounds had magically healed though.

When Kyle and Guy had left for their mission, he had been out of the hospital but not back at Titans Tower yet.

"He's good," John said. "He's been back on his feet for a while now. I think he's been on a few missions with the Titans, but he's been sticking pretty close to Gotham. I don't think Bruce wants him very far out of his sight right now."

"Understandable," Guy said. "I'm glad he's doing better."

Kyle was too.

He didn't want to see another dead Robin.

Tim had more friends than Jason had and Kyle didn't want to see any of them go through what he had went through, what he was still going through, after Jason's death.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1) Hello guys! I hope you all enjoyed these sad days. 
> 
> 2) Slightly different form this time since this chapter stretches such a long period of time, but hopefully it's not out of place to any binge-readers
> 
> 3) Playing fast and loose with Donna and Kyle's canons in this. and by that, I mean throwing most of it out bc canon is a shitstorm anyway :)


	12. you and i collide

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter plays with the events of Countdown 2007, starting right before issue 33 and moving from there. So careful if you're worried about spoilers! Honestly, though, I've changed/skipped over so much stuff that you can probably get by with just a basic plot summary of those events. 
> 
> Also I used some events from the Batman: Under the Red Hood movie, but I think most of us have seen that.

"Guy!" Kyle shouted as he pushed through the crowd. Flying might have gotten him to his target sooner, but landing would have been a pain with this many people in the area and Kyle didn't want to deal with that. He didn't want to shout information at Guy from above him either. Instead he'd been running down the streets of Oa, pushing his way towards Guy even though the streets were filled. There were plenty of Lanterns on planet as well as various people that were on Oa for protection and asylum. Noticing that Guy hadn't turned at his shouts, Kyle raised his voice higher. "Guy!"

This time Guy turned, throwing a look over his shoulder.

Kyle raised his hand, waving a bit so that Guy would know it was him who had been calling.

Guy nodded a little, acknowledging. He slowed down, giving Kyle the chance to push through and catch up to him.

"Hey," Guy greeted.

"Hi," Kyle returned. Not wanting to waste anymore time, he said, "Could you take care of some stuff for me? I have to go do something. I don't know how long it's going to take."

"Alright," Guy said. He was speaking slowly, not quite understanding the reason for Kyle request but agreeing easily despite a lack of knowledge. In their business, there wasn't always time to explain. Guy would give Kyle room to explain himself if it was possible, but he accepted without knowing if Kyle would get to it.

"Donna sent me a distress beacon."

Taking Kyle's words as an invitation to ask more, as a way for Kyle to tell him that he had time to talk about it instead of running off without an explanation, he asked, "What's wrong?"

"I don't know. It was just the beacon pinging. She didn't call me to explain," Kyle said. "But I know that the signal isn't coming from around here."

"The outer sectors?"

Kyle shook his head. "Different universe."

"Really?" Guy said, eyes narrowing in thought as he took in the new information. Universal travel didn't tend to be something that Wonder Woman and Wonder Girl got involved with. There were plenty of league members who were involved in dimensional travel, but the power of the rings meant that the Lanterns got drawn into it more than anyone else. "You're sure?"

"Yes."

They fell quiet for a moment.

Guy reached out, settling his hand on Kyle's shoulder and giving a tight squeeze. "I would wish you good luck, but I don't think you need it."

Kyle just hummed, not quite sure how to respond.

He didn't know how to tell Guy that this wasn't about luck or skill. He didn't know how to explain that this was simply a matter of need and necessity.

Kyle had been _in love_  with Donna. He still loved her now, though it was a different sort of love. One that was born of understanding, of the closeness that came with losing those that they loved before each other and understanding what the other was feeling. It was friendship and sibling-hood.

Kyle had lost Jason when he was seventeen. He had known Jason was struggling, but he had been off-planet and unable to help when Jason had needed him the most.

He would not lose Donna now, regardless of her being in a different universe.

He _could not_  lose Donna.

Not now.

Not ever.

Being a member of the Justice League had taught Kyle that losing people was part of the job, but it was a part of the job that Kyle was going to do everything in his power to stop.

Losing Jason had been more than enough for him.

* * *

Kyle hadn't noticed how many people were around when he had busted into the alternate universe, focused on fishing Donna out of the portal she had been drawn into. He'd heard the voices behind him as he spoke, one of them a familiar enough to ping something in the back of his brain, but he had been concentrated on her. Donna was his priority, not whatever else was going on.

"Kyle, what are you doing here?" Donna said as she came out of the portal.

She was reaching towards Kyle, hand in the air around his shoulder, and Kyle's own hand was hovering somewhere around her upper thigh. She was perfectly capable of landing by herself, but just incase she slipped he would be there to catch her. The sticky hand that he had created with the ring had been wrapped around her wrist, tugging her back to him, but now it was loosened and unwinding.

"Looking for you beautiful," Kyle said, smiling at her. Their relationship wasn't romantic, not anymore, but flirting with Donna was easy and fun in a way that flirting with others wasn't. There was no expectation there, not when things between them had already played out.

Donna smiled at him, soft and affectionate, for a moment. Then her eyes flickered away from his face, catching sight of something over his shoulder, and the smile fell away.

The look that settled in its place was severe, concerned in a way. She hadn't tensed up or moved to shift them out of the way of a threat, so whatever she was worried about wasn't a physical threat.

Kyle shifted, turning to see what had caused the change.

He froze as he got his first proper look at the group standing behind him.

His eyes caught on one of the men immediately, because there was no one the man could have been other than Jason Todd.

He had gotten bigger. Kyle had always known he would be the smaller of them once the Jason finished growing, but this was more than he'd been expecting. Jason was taller than him by a few inches. His shoulders were broad. His biceps and thighs packed with muscle that had only just taking shape when Kyle had seen him last. His hair was shorter than Kyle had ever seen it before. It wasn't a mob of dark curls. Instead it was cut close to his head and the hair at the front was a bright, shocking white. Jason's face had changed as well. All the features were still fundamentally the same, but it had lost the baby fat that it'd carried, round cheeks giving way to a sharp square jaw.

Jason had gone through a lot of changes since Kyle had last seen him five years ago, but there wasn't anything in the universe that would keep Kyle from recognizing the man in front of them.

Kyle didn't know how long he stared, but it had to have been minutes before he managed to choke out, speaking to Donna but unable to pull his gaze from Jason, "Is this- Is he-" The words cut off sharply, Kyle fearing the answer too much to finish his sentence.

"Alive," Jason said. His voice was deeper than it had been before, a low rumble that reminded Kyle of Bruce. 

Kyle opened his mouth to question him, unsure whether the first question out of his mouth would be 'how did it happen' or 'how long have you been alive' or 'how long do we get to keep you.'

Before he could get the words out, though, before the man standing next to Jason said, "It is good you came to join us, Kyle Rayner. My people marked you for elimination as well. Your safest course of action is to remain in our company."

"Yeah," Kyle said. He glanced over at Jason. No matter how much he wanted to focus on Jason and let himself drown in the relief of having him back, Donna sending him a distress beacon meant that something big had to be going on. Saving the galaxy had to come before dealing with personal things. Still, seeing Jason had leeched some of the poison from his heart and Kyle found himself grinning at him as he said, "Yeah. I've already run into some of your people. Staying with you is fine by me."

Jason had been stone-faced, but Kyle was pleased to see a dusting of pink spreading over Jason's cheeks. When they had been children they had been open with their affection for each other, but flirting at seventeen was not quite the same as flirting at twenty-one, so Kyle had never been quite like this with Jason before.

Watching Jason blush brought back why it was that Kyle hadn't seen him blush in so many years.

He found himself adding, voice soft and sincere, "I wouldn't want a friend like Jason coming to any harm."

He didn't know if Jason was alive for good or only for this crisis, but Kyle wasn't going to lose him if it was possible to keep him alive.

He didn't know what losing Jason a second time would to do him.

And even putting that aside, Kyle simply _didn't want_  to lose Jason.

He hadn't wanted to lose him before and he didn't want to lose him now.

* * *

World saving dimensional travel didn't tend to leave a lot of room for discussing things other than the world saving dimensional travel. So while Kyle had hundreds of things he wanted to ask Jason, hundreds of things he wanted to tell Jason, there wasn't really any time for him to ask them.

Kyle let himself enjoy what he had, though. He wouldn't let a lack of answers keep him from that, not when he didn't know how long Jason's life would last. He had never been in battle with Jason before, but the words they tossed back and forth during their battles was filled with familiar teasing and bickering. Sometimes Jason would make little quips in reference to thins he had read or watched. Kyle had never read most of the things Jason had and it had been years since Jason was around to talk to him about them, but Kyle still remembered their conversations vividly enough to know what Jason was bringing up. Sometimes, he even remembered enough to shoot back an appropriate answer. When Donna was talking to someone, because they learned early on that Donna was the best choice if they needed information, Kyle would stand a little too close to Jason. He had grown, but the warmth of their shoulders touching was still familiar. Sometimes they would stand so close that their fingertips would brush, a soft touch reminding Kyle of the past. Every now and then, he would ache with how badly he wanted to grab onto Jason's fingers.

But even with everything that seemed the same, Kyle knew that enough was different in Jason that he couldn't take a liberty like that. They hadn't broken up, but their relationship had ended and they couldn't simply pick up where they had left off. Kyle had changed too much for that. And, from what he could tell, Jason had changed too.

Jason had been sweet back when they were younger, good and funny and bordering on too kind, but his sense of justice was strong and he had believed in that with a sort of intensity that was often vicious and violent. During their time traveling together it became quickly apparent that that had only grown more over the time they'd been apart. Jason was a force to be reckoned with, elegant and graceful in lethal movements. He was kind with Donna and Kyle, but there were times when he was interacting with an enemy and his words were tuned to be as deadly as the bullets he shot.

His time on the street as a child meant that his instincts had always been well honed. He'd always been good at noticing where everyone was in a room, at knowing where people were in relation to himself even when no one else had even noticed there was someone else in the room. Now, though, he seemed more alert than everyone. He kept track of every person he saw, watched them with an intensity that almost scared. He was cautious to the point of being paranoid, as if he thought everyone was out to get him.

Kyle wondered what had made him that way - if it had happened between his resurrection and his rise as the Red Hood or if Bruce's reaction afterwards had changed him even further.

At first, Kyle had had no idea that Jason was the Red Hood. Traveling with Donna meant that everyone involved knew that Jason was Jason and referred to him as such. Even Bob, who hadn't known the boy Jason used to be, called him Jason since the others did.

Eventually they had bumped into an alternate version of Jason that was using the same alias and it had come out. Then it had come out that Jason had been resurrected properly, that it wasn't just a 'fulfill your mission and die again' resurrection, and that he'd been alive for a good three years.

Kyle had stormed away from them when he learned that, angering filling him. He had been livid that Jason had been alive for so long and he was only finding out now. He had lived the past five years of his life mourning Jason, but he didn't have to do that. Jason could have come back to him. And while he was never going to be close to Tim the way he had been Jason, or even the way he was with Dick, he was furious that Jason had tried to kill Tim. Not necessarily because Jason had tried to kill Tim specifically, but because  Jason had almost put Kyle through the pain of watching another Robin die, of watching Tim's Titans fall away the way Kyle had and having to deal with having not been there to save them from the thing that had ruined him.

He'd been sitting on a curb, trying to calm down, when Jason eventually came to find him.

Jason sat down next to him, stretching his legs out in front of him and lighting a cigarette.

There had been silence for a moment and then Jason had started talking.

There were holes in his story, things he obviously wasn't telling Kyle, but what he gave was enough.

He told Kyle had he had woken up in a coffin, memory gone, and how he had clawed his way out. He talked about walking around the streets of Gotham, hazy and running on instincts. He talked about a woman finding him, taking him in and caring for him. He talked about how that woman had found a way to give him his mind back, how she had taken him in for Bruce but how she had grown to care for him and found a way to heal him for herself. Kyle didn't know who the woman was, but he could tell that Jason cared for her as well. He knew that Sheila Haywood, Jason's real mother, had died when he did. He wondered if, in this other woman, he had finally found a mother that he could hold onto.

He told Kyle about being angry that Bruce hadn't killed the Joker and angry that Bruce had put someone else in his costume, about being so angry that he meant so little to Bruce. Kyle wanted to tell him how wrong he was, how Bruce had fallen apart after Jason's death, but Kyle had been there to see Bruce's downfall and that hadn't stopped _him_  from being upset about everything Bruce had done. He didn't think it would make Jason less angry either. He talked about how the woman had sent him off to train, because she didn't want Jason to get himself killed a second time by throwing himself at Batman untrained. Jason must have seen what Kyle was thinking, because he'd added that while Batman wouldn't kill him being in Arkham with the Joker would have. Jason would not have survived Arkham, either killed by villains once his identity as a former Robin leaked or killed by his own hands with a madman's laugh ringing in his ears.

That, he told Kyle, was the state he had been in back then.

That, Kyle heard, was why he hadn't looked for Kyle. Because the person that Jason had been back then wasn't a person who could've come back to Kyle. He would have just dug into Kyle until their relationship had been shredded into ribbons.

Jason told Kyle what had happened with Batman after he'd attacked Tim, how he had given Bruce a choice and how Bruce had picked the Joker over him. Oh, he'd said with a voice dripping with sarcasm and pain, Bruce thought he hadn't made a choice, thought that he had subverted the choice. But he had and that choice had been the Joker.

He told Kyle how he'd gone back home after escaping from Batman, going to the woman who had helped him before with a bandage over his neck where a batarang had tried to cut it open. Bruce hadn't thrown it nearly hard enough to properly slice him open, but it had been close. Jason laughed a little when he said that the woman had sworn in six different languages when she saw. He told him how he had enjoyed spending time with her again, how the two of them had talked. Jason told him how she had reminded him that he was more than just anger, that he had been blessed with a second life and he could use it for something other than revenge if he chose.

Kyle was still angry once Jason finished talking, but he wasn't even half as angry as he had been before and he wasn't angry at Jason anymore. It was the kind of settled anger that came with wanting to stop being angry, but needing time before calming down properly.

He wished that he had gotten to see Jason earlier, that he had known Jason was _alive_ earlier, but he understood why he hadn't been able to come to him.

He understood Jason's reasons, even if it hurt to think about all that time they'd spent separated.

* * *

"I'm going to take a nice long, hot shower," Donna said, sweeping her hair over to her shoulder and running her fingers through it. She made a face as she played with it, unhappy with the way it felt.

It wasn't as though they hadn't taken showers or baths while traveling, but they had been quick and far between. Not every dimension they visited had access to running water, some of them had been apocalyptic and falling apart.

They had arrived back in their own world several minutes ago, Ray Palmer found and the universe saved. Now the three of them were standing in a loose huddle. They had spent the last few weeks living in each other's pockets - it was difficult to find the strength to pull away. They needed just a few more moments gathered together before they went their separate ways.

Kyle was going to miss Donna, but more than that he was dreading the idea of being separated from Jason. He still felt a little angry and confused about things with Jason, but more than that he still _loved_  Jason. The memory of what had happened the last time they separated was sharp in his mind.

He was working through things, but he already knew that in the end he wanted to have Jason back in his life.

He didn't want to leave Jason alone and risk losing that.

"I'm going to sleep," Jason said. He was slouched, almost curling in on himself in his exhaustion. Kyle had been constantly amazed by how large Jason had gotten over the past few years, but he seemed much smaller now. "For like...six months. It'll be like being dead all over again." Nights when they could have a good, long sleep had been even rarer than showers. They'd been running off two to three hour catnaps, trying to balance their need for sleep with the urgency of their mission.

Kyle had grown used to Jason joking about his own death. He'd hated it at first, hated the reminder, but as time went on he realized that Jason told the jokes to help himself deal with everything, they got to listen to it. Kyle actually enjoyed some of them now.

"That wasn't a very good joke," Kyle told him.

"I'm too tired to make good jokes."

"That would be a fair excuse if you made good jokes when you were well rested, but you have never made a good joke in your life."

"That's a blatant fucking lie. I'm a god damn master of comedy,"

"Now _that's_  a lie," Donna said.

"You can both fuck off," Jason said.

Kyle hummed a bit.

He considered, for a moment, whether this was the best place to say what he wanted to say.

In the end, he decided that this might not have been the best time but it was likely the only chance he would get before they went their separate ways again.

"I'll fuck off for for a few days so you can sleep," Kyle said. "But not for six months. I want to take you to coffee this weekend."

Jason stared at Kyle, lips pursing.

Donna stared for a moment, but then a smile settled on her lips. She took a step back, as if moving just a little bit would somehow give the two of them more privacy. Kyle appreciated the gesture, even if it was futile.

After a moment, Jason said, "I'm not him, you know?"

"You are," Kyle said, shaking his head a little bit. When Jason opened his mouth to argue, Kyle cut in, "You aren't the same person that you were when you were fifteen, but I'm not the same person I was at seventeen either. Neither of us are the same as we were back there. But I've been with you for weeks now, Jason. You might not be the child you were before, but you're still the same person." He paused, trying to find the best way to quantify his relationship with Jason without making it seem as though he wanted something from Jason that he wouldn't be able to give him. Finally, he settled on saying, "You were my best friend before you died, Jason. You might not be that person anymore, but that doesn't mean I don't want to get to know who you are now."

Jason watched him for a moment before he said, "You might not like who I am now." There was a small pause before he added, sounding as though it was a painful after thought, "Bruce doesn't."

"Bruce's opinion of you has never affected mine," Kyle said. "I've stood by your side against him before."

Another quiet moment.

Then, "Alright. We'll get coffee this weekend."

Kyle grinned, smiling in a way that no one except his mother had been able to make him smile in years. "I'm looking forward too it."

Jason lips turned, not quite a smile but something close to it. "Me too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1) Hello everyone! I hope you all enjoyed this chapter!!
> 
> 2) Countdown Jason doesnt have the white streak but I like the streak so lmao
> 
> 3) I said int his chapter that Jason had been alive for three years, even though the boys have been separated for five and Jason was resurrected almost immediately after his death. The two years accounts for the six months he was dead, a few months of wandering semi-comatose in Gotham, and then a year for Thalia to watch him before throwing him in the pit. 
> 
> 4) Usually I would include another section in this fic, but the length of this was about our usual and I thought that was a nice place to leave it


	13. polaris leads me back to you

Kyle sat at a small table in Café Descanso, a small coffee shop in Los Angeles.

He had suggested meeting in Gotham since he knew Jason was comfortable there and figured he would be happier with some place that he had an advantage in, but Jason had shot that down quickly. Kyle had been surprised that Jason preferred they meet in LA, but he'd agreed easily enough.

He just wanted to see Jason.

He didn't really care _where._

He had hoped that letting Jason set the place and time for their meeting would make Jason less nervous about it. Jason had been visibly unsettled and worried about the entire thing when Kyle had first asked that Kyle had just wanted to make him a bit more comfort. Now that Jason was almost half an hour late, Kyle was starting to wonder if maybe he shouldn't have suggested the meeting at all.

By the time their universe-hopping journey had ended, Kyle had simply been ecstatic to have Jason back in his life again. He'd been desperate to make sure that Jason stayed there. He hadn't thought about anything else. He hadn't really thought about Jason's actions as the Red Hood or what type of heat he must have been taking from the heroes in Gotham. Jason had described those things to him when they talked about his resurrection, but Kyle had been stuck on how _angry_  he was at Bruce and Dick for not telling him that Jason was alive. Kyle was prepared to accept everything Jason did and had done, he didn't necessarily approve but he believed that he understood Jason's reasoning and that was enough for Kyle to accept his actions, but Jason didn't have anyone else in his life that thought the same way. His life since his resurrection had been filled with disappointment, betrayal, and rejection.

Maybe Kyle should have been content with just a phone number and text messages. Something that would have let him communicate with Jason while also giving him time to prove to Jason that he had meant it when he said that he would stand by his side.

"Hey." Kyle couldn't help the way he jolted, head snapping quickly up to look at Jason when he heard his voice. Surprise filled him, but there was a warmth there as well. Jason was thirty minutes later, but Jason had _shown up_. He was wearing a pair of dark blue jeans with a white shirt and a brown leather jacket. His hair wasn't exactly a mess, but it was clear that the wind outside had tossed it around a bit. "Sorry I'm late. I'm not really used to being awake in the middle of the day anymore. I tend to just sleep until its time to work."

"It's fine," Kyle said. "I'm just glad you came."

Jason hummed a little bit, not really answering.

Kyle took as an indication of just how close Jason had come to bailing on him completely.

He felt a flash of relief that Jason had found the strength to come, even when he had so clearly been on the fence about it. It had obviously been a tough decision for him, but Kyle couldn't help the selfish part of him that wanted so desperately to see Jason despite that.

"Sit down," Kyle said, kicking the chair across from him out before pushing himself to his feet. He thought Jason might like a moment alone, sometime to take a deep breath and prepare himself for something that he was so on edge about. "I need another coffee, so I'll go order for you as well."

"I can do it myself," Jason said.

"I know, but you just got here. Let me get the coffee this time. If you want another after, you can get it yourself."

Jason was quiet for a moment before he let out a soft sigh. "Alright. Fine, I guess."

* * *

Hours later Kyle and Jason walked out of the café.

"That was fun," Kyle said, unable to help the wide smile on his lips.

Though they had spent plenty of time together during their journey with Donna, it wasn't as though they'd had a lot of time to talk. There had been a few conversations, but they had been these heavy things where they tried to explain to each other everything that they had missed in each other's lives. There hadn't been much time for casual, winding conversations. There hadn't been time to talk about movies Jason had missed and which ones he absolutely had to see because they had become Kyle's favorites. There hadn't been time to talk about the books that Jason had read or the art that Kyle had created. There hadn't been time to talk about all of Jason's favorite baseball players and how the Gotham Knights had done the past few years.

The meeting had been stilted and awkward at first, Jason uncomfortable and Kyle unsure how to change that, but as they'd floated around casual, comfortable topics things had thawed between them. It was easy to fall into familiar banter and laughter when they were talking about things they loved so much, things that they had talked about hundreds of times before.

"It was," Jason agreed.

Glancing over at him, Kyle was happy to find that there was a small genuine smile on Jason's lips. While he'd been pretty good at seeing past whatever facade Jason was putting on when they were children that was because Jason hadn't really made any _real_  attempt at hiding his emotions as a child. He'd been an open book to anyone that was willing to actually make an effort. During their mission with Donna, Kyle had learned that nowadays anger was the only emotion Jason showed that openly. To see something else on his face, even if it was only a tiny smile hinting at happiness, and to be the reason for it was something Kyle couldn't help being pleased about.

Kyle was quiet for a moment, wondering if he would be pushing his luck if he said what he was thinking.

Before he could make up his mind, however, Jason said what Kyle had been thinking, "We should do it again sometime."

"I'd like that," Kyle said without hesitation. "Do you wanna meet up in Gotham next week? I can just fly to you."

"I'm not staying in Gotham right now."

"What?" Kyle said, surprise filling him. He'd been just glancing at Jason, focused on looking in front of him as they made their way down the street to where Jason had told Kyle he'd parked his bike earlier, but now he stopped and looked at Jason properly. "Really?"

"Yeah." Jason was still walking, hands shoved into his pockets and shoulders loose. Kyle hadn't been so distracted by the information Jason had given him, he might have spared a second to admire the width of Jason's shoulders and the way his back muscles flexed under his jacket. "I'm not really keen on being thrown in Arkham with the Joker, so I'm laying low for a while."

Kyle didn't know what to say to that, caught between horror and anger at the idea of Jason being thrown in with his killer.

"Kyle," Jason said, looking over his shoulder. "Are you walking to the bike with me or are we splitting up here?"

"I'm coming." He jogged a little to catch up to Jason, slowing once he had. "If you're not going back to Gotham, are you staying in LA?"

"No. I'm just kind of wandering for a bit.  didn't get to see very much of the States the first time around. I figure I might as well do it now."

"You have a phone, right?" Kyle asked. "Give me your number. Text me on Saturday and let me know where you are. I'll meet you there. We can get coffee again or go for lunch."

Jason glanced over at Kyle. "You aren't going to be on Oa next week? I remember you only being around for like... a weekend a month before."

"Things are pretty calm right now," Kyle said. It wasn't necessarily true, but if Jason was willing to meet him once a week then Kyle would be here once a week. Despite having been in Jason's presence for several months when they were with Donna, it was hard not to think that he would disappear the second Kyle took his eyes off him for too long. "So, next weekend?"

Jason watched him for a minute before nodding. "Next weekend."

* * *

His weekly visits to see Jason quickly became Kyle's favorite part of the week.

One weekend, they got lunch at a food truck on Miami Beach. They ordered all eight tacos on the menu, then split them in half so they could both try each one. They argued for what seemed like ages over whether the beef or chicken tacos were better. They ended up agreeing that the entire argument had been ridiculous since the pork ones were clearly the best.

The next, Kyle spent the afternoon with his mother because Jason insisted they couldn't hang out until that evening. When he finally told Kyle where he was, the sun had set. They spent that evening on the Vegas strip. Kyle gave Jason a look when he'd first joined him, because Jason was nineteen and shouldn't have been able to get into the casinos, but Jason had just grinned. Kyle had conceded to letting it go because Jason having a fake ID wasn't that surprising. They spent the evening burning through cash that Kyle didn't bother questioning the origins of, high on the adrenaline of winning and the warmth of their thigh pressed together under a table.

Once they met at the Mall of America and ate bad Chinese food until their stomachs hurts. Afterwards, Kyle tried to convince Jason to ride one of the roller coasters, but Jason was insistent on not riding something like that unless it was outside. Instead, they went to do the mini-golf course before going their separate ways. He was mildly irritated when Jason won despite it having been Kyle's idea to go golfing.

After that, Jason texted Kyle to pick up McDonalds and meet him at the Grand Canyon. The two of them sat on an edge in a closed off area of the park with their legs dangling. They ate chicken nuggets and french fries in the sweltering heat while staring out at one of the most beautiful places in the United States. They stayed for a while after they ate, Kyle sketching and Jason reading some book that Kyle vaguely recognized as having come out in the past few years. Occasionally Jason would read sentences out loud, little things that made Kyle snort with laughter. By the time they left, Kyle had more sketches of Jason than he did the canyon.

The things they did now weren't like the things they did before. They were older so their time together as more fluidity as they had more freedom. Things between them were quieter, more settled in a way. Kyle hadn't disliked what they had before, but he liked this as well. He thought that it probably made sense that they were like this now that they were older and had been through as much as they had.

 

While he was spending more time on Earth in order to spend time with Jason, Kyle did his best to avoid anything that would result in him having to visit the watchtower.

He was willing to accept the changes in Jason, and how those changes had affected Jason's desire to come looking for him, but that didn't change the fact that Bruce and Dick had known that Jason was alive.

It didn't change the fact that neither of them had told him.

It didn't change the fact that they had looked at Kyle, who had still been trying to piece himself back together five years after Jason's death, and thought that they should keep Jason from him. They watched Kyle broken into pieces for such a large period of his young life and refused to tell Kyle that he was back, as if losing Jason hadn't been what broke Kyle in the first place.

* * *

"I can't believe you didn't warn me about this," Jason said, glaring at the drink in his hand. Kyle lifted his cup so he could sip from the straw, drinking to hide the smile that was threatening to spread across his lips. "This is an unforgivable betrayal, Kyle."

Though it was only early March, it was an nice day in Denver, Colorado. It was a little windy, but nice enough that they felt just fine walking around in jeans and a tee-shirt. Kyle wasn't exactly sure what Jason was doing in Denver, but he hadn't asked. He found it was generally better not to question Jason, to let him do his business without feeling as though Kyle's questions were some type of judgement.

Kyle swallowed quickly. Trying to defend himself, he claimed, "It's called bubble tea, Jay. You can literally see the tapioca pearls at the bottom of the glass. How did you not realize what we were ordering?"

"I thought they were going to melt into it or something! I didn't realize I was going to have to deal with it in my mouth!" He made a face before adding, "It just feels so _weird_ , you know? Like I've never taken a drink from something and felt little round pearls without it being like...spoiled milk."

"Jay," Kyle said, feeling a little horrified. "You've drank milk so bad it went from lumpy to round?"

"Years ago," Jason said, tone dismissive.

Kyle knew Jason's history well enough to know that 'years ago' likely meant sometime between his mother's death and Bruce taking him in, sometime when Jason had been living alone on the streets and had likely been so desperate for nourishment that he hadn't realized the milk was spoiled until it was in his mouth.

Knowing better than to ask Jason about that time in his life, because while Jason would share if he wanted to it was better not to push him when he didn't want to, Kyle said, "Do you really not like it? Because we can get something else for you. I'm pretty sure there's a Starbucks up the street. You could get something you're more used to."

"It's fine," Jason said, shaking his head a little. "It's weird, but I'll get used to it in a little while. It just surprised me the first time since I wasn't expecting it."

"You're sure?"

"Yeah." He lifted his drink to his mouth, taking a sip. Kyle noticed that he winced, just a bit, as the drink entered his mouth.

He decided not to bring it up, though. He didn't think Jason hated the drink, just that he wasn't quite used to the pearls yet, or else Jason wouldn't have kept drinking it. He was pretty sure that Jason would get used to it after a few more sips.

"Come on," Kyle said, bumping his shoulder against Jason's to nudge him a little bit. "Let's take a walk around the park while we're drinking these."

* * *

Kyle stood next to Jason's bike, rocking back and forth on his heels.

"So," he said, smiling as he dragged the word out. "This was another fun outing, yeah?"

"Yeah," Jason said. He was straddling the bike. He'd pulled on the black leather jacket he had stored in the back compartment and had his helmet resting between the handlebars with his keys sitting inside of it. "It was good, even if you didn't warn me about the pearls in the tea."

"You ended up liking the tea. You might as well just drop it." Jason hummed a little bit, non-committing. Kyle chose to take that as Jason deciding not to push the issue and moved the conversation on. "I'll see you next weekend then?"

Kyle was expecting an immediate agreement, but instead Jason went quiet.

"Jay?" Kyle pushed after a moment, worry expanding in his chest. They had met up with each other every weekend since returning from their mission with Donna. Jason not confirming that appointment felt a bit like Kyle would never see him again if he let this go. "Is everything okay? Are you busy next weekend or-?"

"Everything's fine." Jason was quiet for another moment before taking a deep breath and saying, "You know, I'm not dating right now, right? Like I'm not...I can't do that. If all of these meetings are some way of trying to get things back to how they were before, then we have to stop meeting. Because I'm just not in a place where I can do that right now. And I don't want you to sit around waiting for something that might never happen."

"I know that these aren't dates. They were never meant to be dates or...or part of some scheme to get you to date me again," Kyle said. He wondered what had brought them to this conversation, if it was something he had done or if this was something Jason had been thinking about since the first time Kyle asked to get coffee together. "I just wanted to spend time with you, Jason. You were my first boyfriend and my first love, but before you were any of that you were my best friend. You were the only person who understood how I felt in a time when I was too young to deal with everything on my own."

He didn't mention that even though none of this had been about dating Jason again, there was part of him that desperately wanted that.

Jason didn't need to that.

Not now.

Maybe not ever.

Simply having Jason in his life, simply having his best friend by his side, was more than enough.

There was a moment, Jason just staring at Kyle, before Jason nodded. "Alright." He smiled a little awkwardly, "Sorry if I made things weird by bringing it up. I just wanted to make sure we were on the same page."

"It's fine. No weirdness here." He rocked on his feet a little, the way he had been before Jason brought this up. "So. Next weekend?"

"Yeah. I'll see you next weekend."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1) Hello everyone! I hope you enjoyed this chapter!
> 
> 2) Someone asked about this in the comments last section so I think it's important to say: Kyle isn't necessarily approving of Jason killing, but he's able to understand it more than Bruce is because the Green Lanterns ARE a military force. A peace keeping one sure, but still military. Kyle would be familiar with killing and the reasoning for what Jason's doing. He might not approve, but I don't see him outright rejecting Jason for it either. Plus....this honestly just isn't a story that I want to explore that type of serious topic in? I know it makes this slightly less of a good story and isn't the best way to handle storytelling, but I dunno. That's not the story I wanted to write.


	14. the distance between stars

"You've been on Earth a lot more than usual, Kyle," Hal said.

Kyle hummed, focused on trying to cut through the food he'd ordered. He always tried different things when he was on Oa, he wasn't a particularly picky eater and he didn't see a point in ignoring an entire galaxy of cuisine, but the meat he'd ordered this time was tougher than he was used to.

"Is your mom okay?" John asked. "I saw her last time I was on Earth and she seemed fine, but-"

"My mom's fine," Kyle said. He frowned a bit, looking up and across the table at John. "Why have you been visiting her?"

"We're friends," John said. "We grew close when you were spending most of your time here."

Kyle narrowed his eyes, suspicious. John was leagues better than Hal, but Kyle wasn't particularly pleased with the idea of either of them 'getting close' to his mother. John just stared back, amusement in his eyes and the tilt of his lips.

"If you're not visiting your mom then what are you doing on Earth?" Guy asked. He shoved some of his own food, something vaguely like pasta but made of a sweet blue dough, in his mouth before continuing, "Like it doesn't matter because you always do your shit before taking off, but I'm kinda curious. Practically your entire life is here, so I can't imagine what you're doing on Earth."

"Stop talking until your done chewing," Hal said, pulling a face.

Guy responded by sticking his tongue out at Hal, giving him a good look at the chewed up pasta and sauce in his mouth.

Kyle chose that moment to think about the fact that these were the men he'd chosen to admire, that these were the men who he had looked to for guidance and advice since he was fifteen.

"I haven't really been doing anything exciting," Kyle said, looking away from the display before he got a glimpse inside of Guy's mouth as well. There was nothing that sounded less appetizing to him than seeing Guy's half-chewed food. "Just hanging out with Jason."

"Jason....?" Guy said, drawing out the name in a question.

"Todd," Kyle said. Then he looked back up, feeling a little confused, "Was that not obvious? It's not like there are that many Jason's in our community, much less any other Jason's that I actually have an interest in being around."

There was a moment where Guy, Hal, and John seemed to have a silent conversation before John said, "We didn't know that you were talking to Jason again."

"Why wouldn't I be talking to Jason? He's my best friend."

"He's not exactly...playing for our team anymore," Hal said.

Jason's resurrection had become common knowledge in the league after Jason, Donna, and Kyle's search for Ray Palmer. Kyle had been away from the Tower when it happened, but he'd heard there had been a big argument between Diana, Clark, and Bruce about Bruce having kept something that important from them. Kyle didn't know exactly how things had gone, but by the next time Kyle visited the tower the three of them were on speaking terms and Jason was logged in the league's databases. The only reason Kyle hadn't thrown a fit about that was because Jason was simply in there as someone to keep an eye on, rather than a villain.

"That's not true," Kyle said. "Jason might have done some stuff that Bruce doesn't approve of, but I've talked to him about it. I know for a fact that he never did anything that he doesn't think was good."

"Didn't he send the police eight heads in a dufflebag?" Hal said.

"Yes, but they were all drug dealers and gang leaders." Noticing the looks his companions were sending him, Kyle said, "I don't think that that was good, okay? I don't think that he's a hero. But I also....I also know how people like that effect people in Gotham. So I can't bring myself to think that it was...completely terrible either. I don't approve. I just understand."

There was another moment of quiet conversation, of glances exchanged as if Kyle wasn't sitting right in front of them, as if Kyle couldn't tell that the Lanterns disapproved of his friendship with Jason or that the only reason they weren't saying that was because they knew what the consequences of saying something like that to Kyle's face would be.

"Okay," John said at last, turning away from Hal and Guy to focus on Kyle instead. "I can't say I understand or agree, but I trust your judgement. You know Jason better than any of us do."

"Thank you," Kyle said.

The last thing he wanted was to choose between his fellow Lanterns and Jason, to choose between losing the men who had taught him to be a man or losing his first love for a second time.

He was glad that John wasn't making him choose.

* * *

Kyle stood in front of Jason, throwing his arms open and spinning a bit. "How do I look?"

"Absurd," Jason said, the corners of his mouth twitching upwards.

"Really?" Kyle asked as he looked down at his outfit. Though it was late April, Gotham still clung to it's spring chill rather than warming as it usually did this time of the year, so Kyle had opted for a black and white baseball tee with a pair of tan shorts. He didn't live in Gotham so he didn't have any Gotham Knights merchandise, but he'd gone out and bought a team hat which rested on his head now. In an attempt to get in the spirit, he'd swiped some body paint on under his eyes as well - one strip of yellow and one strip of black under each. "I thought this was what people wore to baseball games?"

"That's what thirty year old men wear when they're coaching their son's little league team," Jason responded. He was wearing a pair of dark blue jean shorts with a Gotham Knight's jersey that he'd left unbuttoned, showing off the black undershirt beneath it. Kyle found it kind of interesting that Jason had a Knight's jersey now. He didn't know much about baseball, but he knew that an authentic jersey was close to two hundred dollars. He thought it said something about Jason's attachment to Gotham - even if he refused to reside there currently - that Jason had spent that kind of money on something so frivolous. It wasn't an absurd amount given how much Jason had nowadays, crime boss was a lucrative career, but Jason rarely spent money on things like that. "But I suppose you're pulling it off well enough."

"You think? I don't look like a thirty year old dad?"

"I don't think anyone could look at your baby face and think you're thirty years old."

Kyle opened his mouth to argue that he didn't have a baby face, but closed it upon remembering that he got carded twice as much as Jason did even though Jason was two years younger.

"Alright," Kyle said instead. He stepped closer to Jason, fought down the urge to link their fingers together and looped his arm through Jason's instead. It wasn't the most platonic touch, but it wasn't inherently romantic either. It let Kyle enjoy the feeling of Jason's arm wrapped around his. "Lead the way!"

Jason looked at Kyle for a moment, amusement in his eyes and the turn of his lips.

It sent a sharp rush of affection through Kyle. It might have thrown him off guard if he hadn't gotten so used to feeling this way around him.

"Okay," Jason said. He started walking towards the ball park. Kyle followed, trusting Jason to guide him to wherever they needed to go. "Come on. Security's always a shitshow in Gotham. If we don't get in line now, we're going to end up missing half the game."

* * *

When Jason had first suggested going to the game on the anniversary of his death, Kyle had been a little unsure. Ultimately he'd agreed because it was _Jason's_  death. If he wanted to be in Gotham watching a baseball game then Kyle wasn't going to tell him no. But Kyle had spent the last several years being miserable every time the anniversary rolled around, locking himself in somewhere where he could cry and scream and think about all the times in the last year when he had wanted to speak to Jason but couldn't. It felt strange to be spending that day at a ball park surrounded by a cheering crowd instead.

Kyle had fun at the game, though, despite his initial reservations. He found himself relieved that he had agreed to come. Instead of wallowing, he spent his day pouting whenever Jason didn't get carded by one of the beer vendors and exacting revenge by making Jason pay for the ridiculous amount of food Kyle wanted. Instead of isolating himself, he spent the day with his knee pressed against Jason's or leaning against Jason's arms so that Jason could explain something to him. Instead of spending the day thinking about life without Jason, Kyle got to spend the day _with_  Jason, remembering that Jason was alive now.

And when the two of them split up later that day, Kyle left feeling a warm happiness that he had thought he'd never feel again. Not on this day.

 

 

May brought Kyle's 23rd birthday.

It was the first birthday in years that he was willing to celebrate, the first time that he hadn't avoided celebrating it because Jason would never get to have another birthday.

He spent the morning with his mother. She made him chocolate pancakes with chocolate chips and didn't so much as blink at him when he covered them with whipped cream. Afterwards she sat across from him and the two of them talked until the second half of Kyle's pancakes had gone cold. They talked about Kyle's childhood birthday parties and the teenage years when he'd spent his birthdays out on adventures with Jason and the Lanterns. His mother told him stories about her own childhood birthdays and a few about birthdays she spent with his father before he abandoned her. When their time together started nearing it's end, his mother rested one of her hands over his. She told him how proud she was of the man he'd become.

Kyle didn't even try to hide how much that made him cry.

Kyle had asked Jason the weekend before his birthday if he would mind spending sometime with him the day of. Jason had agreed easily. At the time he'd cracked a joke about how spending time with Kyle was cheaper than getting a gift for him, but when the two of them met at a small restaurant near Kyle's mothers house, Jason handed him a large gift bag. When they sat down, Kyle dug into it to find a large sketchbook and a high quality pencil box, one made of a light-colored wood with an intricate design carved on the lid.

After lunch the two of them walked along the beach for a while before ending up at the boardwalk. They spent the day there, riding rickety rides and playing the games set up. Jason was unfairly good at anything that involved aiming, something that came with all of the training he'd done, and he won Kyle several stuffed animals before they were banned from playing any.

Kyle hadn't really had anything in mind when he asked Jason to spend time with him on his birthday, but he definitely hadn't been expecting this and he found that it was even better than anything he would have set up himself. It was fun and casual and neither of them were feeling pressured to do anything other than be in each other's company.

That was honestly the only thing he'd wanted out of his birthday, to have a good time with Jason.

* * *

A large pink bowl dropped into Kyle's lap.

Kyle peered down at the popcorn inside of it before tilting his head back to see Jason, asking, "How much butter did you put in this?"

"A lot," Jason said, shrugging a bit. "It's better that way."

"I mean....I like butter on my popcorn but I think you overdid it a bit."

"More for me then." Jason set his palms down on the back of the couch, using the grasp to push himself into the air and then flop onto the couch beside Kyle. It jostled the bowl in Kyle's lap, but he placed a protective hand over the top to keep any from spilling out. "Did you pick something to watch while I was making it?"

The two of them were inside Jason's apartment in Gotham, sprawled out on the couch for a movie night. They'd made plans last week to go out for dinner together, but Jason had a rough week and Kyle had suggested a change in plans as soon as he'd seen him. Jason had been visibly exhausted and beaten up, in need of a night in on his couch, not a night out on the town.

Kyle knew that even though Jason had been primarily staying out of Jersey, he had several safehouses all over Gotham and it's surrounding area. He also knew that this apartment was the only one Jason actually lived in rather than just hiding out for a few days while he waited for the heat to die down before moving somewhere else.

The fact that Jason had brought Kyle to his apartment instead of a hotel or one of his more comfortable safehouses said a lot about how much faith Jason had in him, how much trust Jason had that Kyle wouldn't harm him or tell anyone where his apartment was. It was something that Kyle couldn't help but be flattered about.

"I found a couple of things," Kyle said, grabbing the remote from where he'd set it. "I figured you could look at my choices and find something you want to watch as well."

"Sounds good," Jason agreed. "What are we looking at?"

"Skyfall, Goon, 10 Things I Hate About You, or Kung Fu Panda."

"I know you added it to the list as a joke, but I am absolutely choosing 10 Things I Hate About You," Jason said. He shifted a bit, stretching himself out along the couch. Kyle found himself acutely aware of it when Jason rested his arm behind him. "Because I am bisexual as fuck and would bang the hell out of Heath Ledger _and_  Julia Stiles in that movie."

"That is absolutely true and totally fair," Kyle said, nodding a little as he went to select the movie. "10 Things I Hate About You it is then."

* * *

"Kyle!"

Kyle was in the middle of gathering his things, having gone to the Justice League meeting since John was in deep space and one of Hal's nephews had ended up in the hospital and needed Hal to sit with them until his parents could get out of work, but he stopped with his hand on his sketchbook.

Looking up from the doodle he'd done that day, he'd been sketching Jason a lot lately and he'd taken the meeting as an opportunity to sketch the softer features of some of the League's female members while he took notes, he found Dick was coming around the table and towards him.

"Dick, hey," Kyle greeted, giving him a small smile.

He noticed that Bruce was still standing at the head of the table and that he was watching the two of them, but he dismissed it as Bruce simply watching over Dick. He knew that their relationship had improved by leaps and bounds over the past few years, the tragedy of Jason's death bringing the entire Bat Family together in a way they hadn't been in years.

"I was wondering if I could talk to you about something?" Dick asked.

"Sure," Kyle said, easy in his agreement. If Dick needed someone to talk to then Kyle was happy to be there for him. He and Dick might not have been the closest of friends, but Kyle figured that the distance between them was probably what made Dick comfortable talking to him. "What's up?" He didn't know if Dick wanted to talk here or if he'd want to go somewhere, but he figured Dick would tell him instead of answering if that was the case.

"I've noticed that you've been spending a lot of time in Gotham lately."

"Yeah," Kyle said, confusion settling over him. He'd assumed Dick wanted to talk to him about something that was bothering Dick, but now it seemed more like something Kyle was doing was bothering Dick. "I haven't been doing anything hero related there, though? I didn't think I was breaking Bruce's no outsiders rule?"

"I know," Dick said. "That's kind of why I'm concerned?"

Kyle stared for a moment, trying to figure out why Dick would be concerned with him being in Gotham when he wasn't doing anything.

Then he realized that this wasn't about what he was doing in Gotham, it was about _who_  he was doing it with.

"This is about Jason." All traces of goodwill and friendliness had left his tone, replaced with a cold unhappiness.

Dick winced, but didn't try to argue. "Yes. We're just worried because-"

"We?" He thought about Bruce, watching them. "Ah. Bruce put you up to this."

"No," Dick said, shaking his head. "He and I are both worried about you."

"About me? Not about your brother? Not about his _son_?" Kyle questioned. He didn't give Dick time to say anything. He knew that Dick would only use it to attack Jason and Kyle wasn't willing to sit here listening to that. "You know what? Never mind. You and Bruce don't need to be worried about Jason or me."

"Kyle-"

"No," Kyle interrupted, shaking his head. "You knew he was alive and kept it from me even though you could _see_  how miserable I was without him. You knew he was alive and you just...watched me walking around haunted by his memory. You didn't want to interfere back then? You don't get to interfere now that I have him back. I'm not letting you make me unhappy anymore. I'm not letting you stick your nose in now that I'm happy!"

 

He didn't wait for Dick to say anything else, just scooped his sketchbook up and walked out without so much as a glance back. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1) Heyo everyone! This chapter is SUPER late and I apologize for that. Hopefully you all enjoyed it. 
> 
> 2) Dick's section ended up being VERY different than originally planned, but I do like it.


	15. the sky is made of darkness and bright stars

"Can I have the last few?" Kyle asked.

He was already reaching out as Jason nodded. "Yeah, go ahead."

The two of them were sitting at a picnic table at Gotham's fairgrounds, a styrofoam cup filled with french fries sitting on the table between them.

Jason wasn't traveling as often as he had been before, setting roots down in Gotham despite the heat he took from his family for staying in town, so most of their meetings were happening in the city now.

When Jason had suggested spending their afternoon at the visiting carnival, Kyle had been a little hesitant. He didn't have anything against carnivals in general, he was just a little unsure about going to one in Gotham specifically. It seemed like exactly the kind of place one of Gotham's rogues would attack. Kyle didn't want to be in the middle of a crisis today, especially not one in Gotham since that would put him and Jason in contact with the Bats.

Eventually, Kyle had been won over by Jason's promises of greasy food and cheap stuffed animals.

Since Jason had given him permission to eat the last couple of french fries, Kyle grabbed the cup off the table and pulled it towards him. They'd ordered a medium so the cup wasn't exactly small, but having this hold on the cup was easier then trying to shove half his arm down it.

"We should get some more," Kyle said.

"Now? Or before we leave?"

He took a moment to throw the last of the fries into his mouth. Then as he chewed, enjoying the combination of greasy fries and too much vinegar, he said, "Definitely both."

Jason pulled a face at him. But instead of saying anything, he put his hands flat on the table. "Alright, come on then. Let's go find that fry booth again."

"Wait, really?"

He looked down at Kyle, the older man having made no motion to move and staring up at Jason with confused narrowed eyes. "What?"

"You're really gonna buy me two more things of fries? Without even teasing me for eating so much?"

"Yeah? I mean, I told you it was on me today."

"Which was weird in itself," Kyle said.

"I buy you stuff all the time!"

"Yeah, but you don't usually tell me you're going to do something like this. You tease me about it or whine about it. And then you just do nice things anyway." Before Jason could come up with a response, Kyle said, wielding the words like an accusation, "You've been weird all day. Something's wrong with you."

"Nothing's wrong with me." He opened his mouth to object, to tell Jason that he knew him well enough to tell when Jason was acting strange. The words got stopped in his throat when Jason said, "Something is wrong with _you,_ though. If you wanted to talk about it, I assume you would have brought it up. We've never had a problem talking to each other about this stuff. But you didn't bring it up, so I figure don't want to talk about it. And since it's bothered you enough that you don't want to talk about it, I figure it won't hurt to not be a dick for a little bit."

"You're not a dick," Kyle objected, more instinctively than anything else.

His conversation with Dick the other day was still irritating him, unwanted words and too-late concern burying under his skin and itching as though there were spiders crawling through his blood, but he hadn't realized it was still irritating him so much that it was outwardly obvious.

"But something is wrong with you," Jason said. He made a gesture with his hand, the kind that bid Kyle to rise to his feet and follow him. "So let's go get you some more fries. And then we'll find some shooting game that I can use to win you an absurdly big stuffed animal."

* * *

It was several hours later, when the sun had gone down and the two of them were walking towards the parking lot where they'd left Jason's bike, that Kyle said, "It was Dick."

Jason hummed, soft and questioning.

Jason was holding a paper plate, picking at the cinnamon-coated elephant ear sitting on, while Kyle had a giant white unicorn with pink hair stuffed under his arm and a bag of cotton candy hanging loosely from his fingers. Both of them had complexions that were naturally darker but they had been outside for so long that they could still feel the lingering warmth

"The reason I've been upset," he elaborated. "It was Dick and something he said to me."

"What'd he say?"

Kyle wasn't quite sure why he was saying it now. It was something about the quiet around them, the dull roaring of the fairgrounds left behind, and the softness of the moment as they walked together. It was something about the warmth of his skin and the soreness of his throat, aching from all the screaming and laughing he'd done that afternoon. It was something about the way they had spent all day with their thighs squished together on too small rides and the tingling in Kyle's hand that came from it having brushed against Jason's so many times. There was something about all of this that made him want to spill his secrets, to lay himself bare in front of Jason and see what would happen.

"He tried to talk to me about you. He told me that he and Bruce were worried about all of the time that I'd been spending in Gotham with you. They thought I'd be better off without you."

"Ah." Jason breathed the word out, the sound so soft it seemed to float between them.

There was so much in that one sound that Kyle's heart ached. It was just one syllable, just one quick quiet noise, and yet there was so much wrapped up in it. There was the widening of the gap between Jason and his family, the quiet acceptance of their opinion of him, the barely there agreement that Jason _was_  someone Kyle should stay clear of.

Kyle had been upset during his conversation with Dick because he didn't like Dick interfering with his and Jason's relationship after all of the time he'd spent not interfering when he should have. Now he found the conversation burrowing even further under his skin for making Jason feel this way.

"It's not true," Kyle said, vehemently.

"It could be," Jason said. "I'm not exactly a good guy anymore, Kyle, and I'm not planning on becoming one again. I kill people and I don't feel any remorse about it. On top of that I'm angry and aggressive and a fucking mess." He had been looking down at the food on his plate, but now he looked over at Kyle. "I'm not an idiot, Kyle. I know that even though you said it was fine if we were only friends, you're in love with me. You want more than that. And I'm not ready for that, but it would be stupid of me to lie and say I'm not in love with you too. I've been in love with you since I was fourteen." He looked away from Kyle again, eyes shifting away from him and out to the night sky above them instead. "You _would_  be better without me. You'd be better off with someone who could love you the way you deserve to be loved and give you everything you deserve to be given. You-"

" _Shut up_ ," Kyle interrupted. He was tense with anger, body practically shaking with it. " _Shut up_."

"Kyle-"

"No!" Kyle said. Dick had angered him with what he had said, but hearing all of that from _Jason_  had him boiling with rage in a way that he hadn't ever felt before. He turned to Jason, whipping around to look at him. "You don't get to say shit like that to me! You don't know what it was like for me when you were gone. You don't get to tell me that I'd be better off without you when you don't know what it was like - what I was like - when you were gone. I was a mess for _years_ , Jason. Even when I got my shit together, when you died you took a part of me with you and even you coming back hasn't given that back to me." There had been a few inches between them, more than a foot, but now Kyle shifted so they were closer together. Shoving his way into Jason's space, he hissed out, "You don't get to decide that I'm better off without you, not when you don't know what it was like living without you."

Silence fell.

It was a long time before Jason nodded, just slightly.

"Alright," he said. "I shouldn't have made assumptions about your life."

"No," Kyle agreed. "You shouldn't have."

* * *

There was a tension that settled between them during the rest of their meetings that July, a quiet remnant of their argument at the fairgrounds.

The two of them went hiking at one of New Jersey's national parks the weekend after their trip to the carnival, something they'd had plans to do for a few weeks as they waited for the weather to drop to something other than sweltering. Usually their activities were filled with conversation and laughter. This time it was something quieter. This time it was quiet voices as they discussed routes, awkward pats on the arm as one of them pointed something out to the other, a wordless exchange of water bottles and snack packages when one of them had something the other wanted.

The next weekend, there was a showing of a the original Star Wars trilogy happening at a local movie theater. They were quiet for the most part, sitting next to each other but far enough apart that they weren't touching. Kyle hadn't realized how much he and Jason touched during these outings until the tension between them was thick enough to keep them from touching. Still, while the tension was there it had started smoothing over, though Kyle wasn't sure why. He had left most of his anger behind before their hiking trip but Jason had appeared to have still been mulling what Kyle had said over the last time they'd seen each other. Whatever had been bugging Jason seemed not to be bothering him as much anymore, though, because when they ordered pizza between the first and second movies the two of them were comfortable enough to banter about their pizza toppings.

By the third weekend, the two of them were practically back to normal. They happened to make their plans for a weekend when Jason's apartment was low on food, so instead of going anywhere exciting they ended up going to the farmers market that Jason bought his fruits and vegetables from. It was a little strange since Kyle had vivid memories of visiting the exact same market with Jason years earlier, picking vegetables up for Alfred and arguing over a package of strawberries that Kyle had bought for Jason. Ultimately, Kyle found himself just enjoying the time with Jason and the easy conversation they fell into. After weeks of awkwardness between them, it was nice to argue about what color apples tasted the best and laugh at how their fingers stained with blueberry juice.

Their relationship stabilized just in time for Jason's birthday, convenient timing that Kyle was thankful for. The two of them spent the day together. They started the day out having breakfast at a diner near Jason's place. Kyle ordered himself an omelet filled with cheese and ate half of Jason's specialty birthday pancakes. They spent the late morning and early afternoon in a bookstore, Jason running his hands over the spines of old books and Kyle grabbing anything Jason looked truly interested in off the shelf to buy for him. The total when they checked out was a little ridiculous, but Kyle didn't mind paying it given how happy Jason looked to be getting so many new books. They spent so long at the bookstore that by the time they left they were both ready for lunch. Jason wanted burgers so they grabbed some from a food truck near a local park, one that Jason was on a first name basis with the owners of, and then walked around until it time to go to the baseball game Kyle had bought them tickets for. They stuffed themselves full of stadium food, everything from nachos to frozen lemonade, until they were too full of grease to properly cheer.

By the time they got back to Jason's apartment that night, they had had such a nice day that neither of them were particularly eager for the night to end. Jason ended up inviting Kyle inside so the two of them could play video games until they passed out on Jason's couch, curled up together under a soft, fuzzy bright pink blanket.

Kyle couldn't think of a better way to spend Jason's birthday.

For years Jason's birthday had been one of the worst days of the year for Kyle, second only to the anniversary of Jason's death.

This year Kyle had gotten to spend both of those days with Jason, spending the day at Jason's side and having the time of their lives together. 

* * *

"So how are things with Jason?"

"Huh?" Kyle said, speaking around a mouthful of onion rings. He looked up at Donna. "What?"

She gave him a small smile, amusement and affection displayed in equal measure. She repeated, "How are things with Jason?"

The two of them met up for lunch every couple of weeks, now that he was on Earth more often Kyle saw Donna almost as often as he saw Jason.

He liked that. Life on Oa was more similar to life on Earth than most people would have assumed, but there was an urgency and awareness to living there. There was a constant, nagging knowledge that he could be sent out on a mission at any moment. The same couldn't be said for Earth and sometimes it was nice to be in that more relaxed atmosphere, to spend sometime just being a stupid twenty-three year old having lunch with his best friend.

"Why're you asking?" Donna liked Jason, so Kyle didn't think she was going to warn him off Jason the way Dick had but there was a cautious part of him that felt a little protective of their relationship.

"I haven't heard from him in a while," Donna said. "I thought something might be wrong."

"You two talk?"

"Yes." Kyle wasn't sure why he found that so surprising. Jason and Donna had always had a good relationship. Jason had idolized Donna as a child. It wasn't so strange that the time they'd spent hopping around the multiverse together had caused a friendship to blossom out of that respect. "Like I said, though, I haven't heard from him in a while. I was getting a little worried."

"Oh. Well, I talked to him yesterday and he seemed fine." There had been a brief phone call about what the two of them were going to do that weekend. Jason wanted to go to a poetry thing at a local cafe. Kyle wanted to see the new exhibit opening at Gotham's art museum. Selina Kyle had contributed to it which meant there were bound to be a few rare pieces of dubious origins. There hadn't been a clear agreement about what to do that weekend, but they had laughed at how ridiculously artsy the argument was. Donna's words had him wondering if he'd missed something during their conversation though. "Did it seem like something was wrong the last time you spoke to him?"

"No. Nothing seemed any worse than usual," Donna said. "But Jason has been through a lot. He's _still going through_  a lot. But he likes to act like none of that is true. And on the rare occasion that Jason actually admits to himself that there' something wrong, he won't tell us about it." She sighed, shoulders heaving and body slumping with something like exhausted exasperation. It was the kind of thing that came from loving a friend deeply, but being sad about the choices they made and exhausted with constantly having to watch them put themselves through hell. "He thinks that he has to do everything himself. He thinks that we're going to judge him or push him away when he asks us for help. Even though all we actually want is to help him and make him realize that he's allowed nice things."

Kyle hummed, thinking about what Donna had said.

He was in the middle of mulling it over when something about what she had said settled in his mind.

 _Oh,_  he thought. _Oh._

* * *

"This should be a date," Kyle said as soon as Jason opened the apartment door.

Jason stared at him for a moment, obviously surprised, before letting out a, "What?"

"We should go to your poetry thing," Kyle said, "and it should be a date."

Jason was quiet.

Then he said, "I told you before that I'm not-"

"I know you think you're not ready to be dating again," he said, interrupting. "And if that's really the case than that's okay. We can ignore this entire conversation and go to the poetry thing anyway. It's not really fair of me to take that off the table just because you don't want to date me." He took a deep breath to steady himself, but then soldiered on before Jason could start talking. "But you said before that you love me and you know that I love you. I know that that doesn't necessarily mean that you're ready to take given everything you went through, but I also know that you told me before that you thought I didn't deserve to be stuck with someone like you. So I think that the problem isn't that you aren't ready to date, but that you still feel that way. You feel like you aren't good enough for me. That's not true, though. You're hurting and that hurt has changed who you are in irreversible ways. But I'm still in love with you and I'm always going to be." Kyle stepped closer to Jason, reaching out so he could put his hands on Jason's arms. "So we should go to your poetry thing and it should be a date. Alright?"

Another silence, this time longer.

Having said what he needed to say, Kyle found that this one was the most nerve-wrecking of all. He was willing to give Jason whatever time he needed and wait as long as Jason needed him to, but there was a part of him that desperately wanted to find out that Jason agreed with him.

It was a long time before Jason spoke, saying, "I'm a mess, Kyle. It's not all going to be fun dates and laughter this time, you know?"

"We were young last time. Things were fun dates and laughter because we were lucky enough not to have the stress and problems of adulthood back then," Kyle said. "If we had never been separated then we never would have reached something like this eventually. Maybe it wouldn't be as bad, but there was always bound to be a point in our lives were our relationship was more than just sunshine and daisies."

"This is a little more than stress over paying bills."

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean I'm not ready to stick by your side through this." Jason had never shook Kyle off him, so Kyle squeezed. "I love you, Jay. I want to be with you. I want to stand by you and help you with whatever I can help with."

Jason sucked his bottom lip in, biting down on it.

He rolled it between his teeth for a moment before he said, "I'm not sure if I'm ready for all of that again, Kyle." He went to let go of Jason, opening his mouth to reaffirm that if Jason wasn't ready than Kyle would respect that, but before he could get there Jason shifted so Kyle's hands were on his instead of on his biceps. He slipped their fingers between Kyle's. "But I think....I think we can give it a try."

"Are you sure?" Kyle asked. Because he wanted this, but he didn't want Jason to agree just because Kyle had pushed him into it.

"No," Jason said, squeezing Kyle's hand tightly, "but I'm still willing to try it."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! 
> 
> I know there are still lots of things unsaid and unfixed, but I think sometimes that makes for the best story. This fic isn't about Jason and the bats or about Kyle and the lanterns or Kyle's feelings towards the bats after Jason's revival, it's about Jason and Kyle and their relationship and this felt like the right place to end it! That being said, I do wish I had gotten the chance to fit a post-death kiss in there. Anyway! All of that said, I hope you all enjoyed this final chapter as well as the story as a whole. 
> 
> Thank you for all for reading! And thank you to everyone who commented, supporting the story throughout its development.


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